To find being a SAHM

[WinkyWinkola]

very lonely at times.

The irony is that there are so many of us up and down the country, doing the same thing in our isolated little islands.

I only tried it for a few months and I found it lonely and depressing too, so, not unreasonable. I don't think it's the ideal unless you have lots of supportive social contact.

You have to rely on your own resources more to enjoy being a SAHM - I do enjoy it.

Not just SAHM but me too and I work PT (2 days). Most of the days I don't work are spent alone with DD now as our peer group are mostly back at work. I went to a toddler group this week and as I was new and alone thought people would chat to me. - I was very wrong - they looked at us - and went back to their own conversations!

I used to help run a baby group and always tried to spot new Mums and introduce them around etc. I almost told the organiser to eff off when she asked me for the £2! No one had even pointed me to the coffee!

Have you looked at your MN local listings? or posted to see if anyone else is near you, I looked at mine but it covers a big area and being quite rural here there was nothing nearby.

I never rely on people to talk to me. I'm usually the one to make the conversation.

not unreasonable but keeping a loose network of acquaintances helps likewise kids activities.

I like being by myself with the kid and doing our thing.

I keep in touch with things that interest me keep hobbies and make sure I have 'me' time.

but it is not for everyone and for me I don't think will be for very long but who knows?
no point being miserable life is too short

WinkyWinkola can u attend any groups/classes to meet other mums ask your HV just phone up.shame u feel isolated.

some suggestions

"what about monkey music"
what about tumble tots"

be brave strike up a conversation in starbucks
look on internet for what is on
lots of other mums out there too, all v nice
lots of park time
approach mums with similar age wee one ask if they attend any clubs etc

isn't that what mumsnet is for!

Don't get me wrong - I talked to them whether they liked it or not!!!! But sometimes I feel people forget how it feels to be on the outside iykwim?

I find it lonely at times too. Before ds was at school, I tried to do several activities with him, to get me out as well as helping him to mix with other children (e.g. Tumbletots, music club etc).

Now he is at school, I do a computer course one morning a week, and help out at ds's school. But I still have some days where I feel "I haven't seen anyone today". A lot of my friends either live too far away to see regularly, or they work, or have younger children and other things to do all day. But getting out and joining things certainly helps. It doesn't always make up for that lack of adult company though, especially the sort where you can have conversations that don't revolve around children.

To back up what ScottishMummy says, when my mum takes my ds out, she makes friends with virtually everyone in our neighbourhood, I am amazed by the info she comes back with. My mum was a SAHM for many years and I do think this is the skill - break down the barriers, chat to all and sundry. We're all out there.

On a related note, there are three of us who are at the station at the same time every night with little ones (the other two are more trad mums waiting to meet their dh off the train, I am the one getting off the train but ds insists on staying to see some more trains come in, so I run round the station after him). From general chatting I now discover one of the other little boys is only one day older than ds. I'm now working on how to take this casual relationship to the next level - if I was my mum, we'd already be living in each others' houses and best of buds!

how old is your dc? How about joining the NCT?

I found i met mums at the park / local softplay / waterbabies etc You do need to make a conscience effort to make a network of friends though. Its not easy, i remember asking one of the mums who i frequently bumped into for her phone no to arrange a meet up - felt like i was asking for a date!!! We are great friends now though.
Whereabouts do you live?

I've got a friend who set up her own website after something similar happened to her. It all very new so far but if your interested in having a look here it is chums4mums

Ooh, no. We're so busy doing stuff like Monkey Music, craft classes etc. We're always out and about. I'm perfectly happy - thank you for all your lovely posts!

It's just that since having children, I've not made any real key friends nearby - you know, the ones you really click with.

I miss my girlfriends before I had children - the gassing over wine, talking trivia etc. We've all mostly had kids now and well, there's just no time for that kind of socialising and they're all scattered over London and I get to see them like every two months with the kids.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not down. I just miss those key friendships.

where in london are u?