Parents of children on the spectrum

[ambereeree]

I'm trying to fill an assessment form out for my almost 2 and half year old.
I've noticed he often doesn't follow my finger when I point. Sometimes he'll half heartedly look or just look at something else he finds more interesting.
He likes to show me things with a pointed finger and will look at my face to see what I think making eye contact and laughing or smiling.
He will never point to something I want him to, will only point to things he wants to show me. I'll say where's the car he'll point to a train and say train and then point to car and say car.
Using an index finger or thumb. Sometimes whole hand or even foot if he puts the book on the floor.
If I point to pictures in a book he'll only look if he likes it ie. A car or train.
He's quite difficult in that he doesn't listen and will go into rages if for example we walk the direction he doesn't want to.
I'm concerned about the lack of pointing more because he also doesn't really communicate.
His language skills are delayed and doesn't call mummy. Will just come and pull me along when he needs or wants something. Doesn't nod or shake his head or wave either. Will also pull his older sibling when he needs help from them.
Is there any test you were asked to perform to test finger pointing or communication? I'm trying to put as much information as possible because I'm going to pay for a private assessment due to coronavirus delays in appointments.
If any parents could help me perhaps add some 'tests' I have missed I would be really grateful.
I did try the SEN board but it's not very busy like aibu.

I should add he also doesn't point to himself when I say his name.

Can I also ask parents one of the questions is how does he react to emotions?
He'll cry when his sister does but doesn't comfort. Doesn't like it if I argue with his dad and will come and cuddle me. He'll also get upset when his favourite characters on peppa pig cry or do something dangerous.
I find the questions difficult--it's hard to put everything a child does into a box. He won't be upset if I'm hurt but even my older on target development child doesn't always care if I'm hurt!

He reacts appropriately to emotion from your post. My nephew has severe autism he doesn't react with emotion to anyone unless something he is interested in catches his eye then he is full one.
My DD had no emotion never cried or reacted to anything, she was in her own world from birth her eyes would follow but showed no interest or smiles just watched quietly. She is still like this.

With hindsight the first signs ds had Autism were not sleeping, losing his words ( could say simple things like mum, dad, dog etc then seemed to lose the ability for about a month, then came out with full sentences) terrified of the hoover, obsession with buses/collecting bus timetables from age 2.5, not mixing at playgroup/preschool, speaking like a little professor as soon as he could talk. Every child is different, if you are worried, speak to your HV.

Have you had his hearing checked? DS2 had massive glue ear despite never having an ear infection.

I haven't had much luck with my HV who asked me to do questionnaires on line. That's why I booked an appointment privately with a paediatrician.
I will definitely get a hearing test done just in case.
He hasn't had much exposure to other children apart from his 2 year older sibling who he plays next to. Likes to grab her things. We met a few other children he was interested from a distance and wasn't interested in playing with them.
Was more interested in watching them go down a slide and will try and hurry them along
But again some children are shy and others more social so hard to tick boxes.

Hi all I thought I would update as you were all so helpful. We had an appointment with the specialist and the doctor said there is a very strong chance he is autistic. I'm now waiting for the play assessment.
I also took DS to nursery today for the first te and he loved playing with all the toys. Didn't want to leave!
Any tips on making his nursery time as successful as possible? He'll be on 2 afternoons at first.

Good to hear they have referred you, can be hard to get an early assessment. Don't have any tips for nursery I'm afraid, dd was a nightmare so bribery was the only way. Dd was diagnosed with asd at 2/8 mos, but on the positive side she's now fully verbal, at university and going to live on her own this year (she lived with me at first for university)

Be very honest with them about his challenges and delays, you want the staff onside basically. Collaborate with them, telling them ways to engage him etc.

@movingonup20 I'm so happy to read that and for you too.
I'm making a little sensory bag for him and told them what calms him down. I'm so worried even though he appeared very happy.
He didn't really notice or engage with other children while there but I hope this does change and he becomes more social or as social as possible.

Can I ask if anybodys children did learn to play with others? I'm also trying to get him to play with his 5 year sister but unless it's rolling around on grass or playing with sand he's not interested. Even trying to teach chase ends up with him pushing her to run while he laughs getting excited.