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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lockdown has turned me in to a lazy mum

24 replies

Evelyn92 · 30/08/2020 10:26

Hi everyone. I have 2 DC, 6 years and 20 months old and I fear lockdown has turned me in to a lazy mum. Where we got used to not going out, I now find it easier to just stay in. Even though most things are open now, it doesn't feel like the same. I hate wearing a mask too (although obviously do if I have to), so try to avoid going anywhere where I will have to wear one. Is anyone else in the same rut as I'm feeling quite bad about it? :( We are normally out and about quite a lot. I'm a single mum and having them with me 24/7 has been really draining. I'm hoping that when my 6 year old goes back to school next week and we have to go on the school run I will start wanting to do things again.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 30/08/2020 10:28

I think most people are now pretty worn out and the added restrictions about going out don’t encourage spontaneity! Don’t make yourself feel bad.

It will be good to get back to school routines.

Original poster
Evelyn92 · 30/08/2020 13:41

Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 31/08/2020 06:32

I get so upset comparing the life me and DD had pre covid to now. We did loads of groups, met friends, park, softplay. Now it's just park. I'm trying to motivate myself to pre book some things but I know too many that have done and been let down by the weather or it being a poorer experience.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 31/08/2020 06:40

Definitely!
First I got used to not going out.
Then I started feeling low because I wasn't going out.
Then I was allowed to go out but felt too low to motivate myself.
A local youth project did a couple of outdoor play sessions in our neighbourhood.
I was (half) joking to my friend that they were genuinely rehabilitative.
Because I couldn't motivate myself to organise an outing. But I could just about handle putting my shoes on and taking the kids a distance of 2 streets to join in.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 31/08/2020 07:14

I am in desperate need of a routine again (starts up tomorrow thankfully). Admittedly I have realised that pre Covid we were too busy and it's OK to be a bit lazier but I feel it has swung too far the other way. Once we are back at school/work the week days will naturally fill themselves and I will be more motivated to book NT properties etc at the weekend to have quality family time.

Tumbleweed101 · 31/08/2020 07:36

Yes, I’ve felt a bit like this.

Definitely a lot is to do with masks, needing to prebook and just how different going out actually is to before lockdown. This is also the first summer hols where my term time contract has changed to an all year one so I’m simply not about so much at home either.

Chickenfingers · 31/08/2020 07:42

Sounds like you just need a break, you shouldn't feel bad. It's like the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'

It's a hassle going out now anyway, plus the weather is getting colder.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 31/08/2020 07:45

It's hard to do , but once you accept the " new normal " you can start planning things and getting on with your life.
Children are very adaptable but us adults are not , that's the difficult part .

RIPworkingmums · 31/08/2020 07:47

Me too, I have 3 aged 7, 5 & 2. We have done a few outings maybe one day out a week throughout the summer holidays and a few play dates (from class bubble) but it got to the point where my 7yr old was asking what the plan was for the next day constantly. I have reigned it back in again as I can’t face the restrictions and I hate wearing a mask. The kids seem happy enough at home and to be honest I just can’t be arsed!! We used to be out all the time (I really dislike my house and feel unhappy here) but hoping we can work back up to it as I feel like I’m letting them down.

middleager · 31/08/2020 07:51

OP, don't beat yourself up. Mine are teens now and I still feel guilty if we don't 'do' something. I'm spent put though - the vigour I normally have in the hols has dwindled after months of relentless wfh/home schooling. I think we are all drained now.

I know this isn't the point, but my teens don't seem to remember anywhere we took them when they were really young, so don't worry about them "missing out". There will be plenty of time to resume these things as this current strangeness will pass.

I think we'll all be better when routine begins.

sunnysidegold · 31/08/2020 07:52

I feel the same way. I was okay during lockdown as we just hid away at home. We have a big garden so didn't even really need to leave. We didn't go for walks (live on a busy road with no footpath).

When our summer holidays started here the restrictions had been lifted a bit but I still felt wary about going out anywhere and was a bit nervous about going places so didn't really bother.

I think lockdown affected my mental health quite badly an that has impinged on me organising things. My kids went back to school last week so I'm hoping the routine will help.

DipSwimSwoosh · 31/08/2020 07:52

Same here but I am embracing it as a simpler life!

InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 31/08/2020 07:53

Single mum here with two who have been back at school for two weeks and one day (!). It’s fucking bliss - I promise - you’ll feel like normal again.

Seenthefilmgotthetshirt · 31/08/2020 07:55

I also feel the same and know that a lot of my friends do. Don’t be hard on yourself - we are all going through something very different and unique!

EssentialHummus · 31/08/2020 07:58

I’m certainly a worse parent now, and that’s with a husband and a little bit of childcare in place. The past few months have been unprecedented, I don’t think it’s worth scrutinising your behaviour too closely.

Adwodeabo · 31/08/2020 08:00

We haven’t been going out either. We’ve got used to not going out. Having to prebook everything is a faff, and lots of places we want to go have already reached their (much reduced) limit so we can’t book. I hate wearing a mask and feel neglectful putting one on myself but not on DC (who is too little). There are queues everywhere and small DC doesn’t have the patience to queue. I hate travelling somewhere only to find out it’s absolutely packed and I have to make the judgement call that it’s too crowded so we won’t be going in.

I was working myself up to go to our fave cafe for lunch, telling myself I was paranoid and it would be fine. Then they announced on FB that they were closed because someone had coronavirus. So if I’d gone I’d have been exposed. To top it off they refused to tell anyone what day and time the infected person had been there, all they would say is “test and trace will contact you if you are affected”. So now I’m even more wary if places are going to pull this stupid trick of refusing to say whether you’ve been at risk!

ProudMarys · 31/08/2020 08:01

You probably get in to a better routine when school starts

Gunpowder · 31/08/2020 08:28

I feel exactly the same. Flowers

Mcmole · 31/08/2020 08:46

I wouldn't say I'm lazy as such as I've been making an effort to do outdoor things that don't need masks but we've not done the usual NT places, museums, anything that's considered an 'attraction' this summer as I can't be bothered with the new regulations, hate wearing masks etc.

I don't think it's done 6 year old DD any harm at all to have a summer like that, she's had a lot of fun regardless and I feel that we've learnt you don't need 'organised' activities or to spend a lot of money to have a good time.

Frederik33 · 31/08/2020 08:49

I definitely feel the same as you. Widowed parent here with two kids aged 15 and 12. The 15 year old does great at school but is a challenge at home. We were actually OK during lockdown proper it's the Summer holiday time that has been the kicker. I feel totally unmotivated. Am going to garden today hopefully that will put me in a better mood. School starts Thursday here and I have found enough mojo to do back to school shopping with them wash pe kit uniform and will check them off but that's it. Hopefully better times ahead for us all!!

SnuggyBuggy · 31/08/2020 08:53

I'm definitely a worse mum. I just feel exhausted and daunted by the long days and little to fill them with.

cyclingmad · 31/08/2020 08:57

Feel the same, hat ehavijg to think if i go into central London and need the toilet where can I go? There hardly many places open and not many public toilets as it is.

Last week I stupidly got my times wrong and went in for an eat out help out dinner and was an hour early and there was naff all open other than restaurants and bars which you cant just walk into...most shops that would normally be open were shut.

Pointless

kerkyra · 31/08/2020 09:05

I feel the same as you. I ask my 12yr old if he would like to go anywhere and feel quite relieved when he says no,can we have another lazy home day.
We did do our first day out last week,a trip to London to a museum. But with over an hour on the train and it pouring with rain I found it exhausting!
I've put on more than half a stone and waiting for school to start on Thursday so I can hopefully get motivated.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 31/08/2020 09:30

I have let dd play on the computer way way more than ever before - pre lockdown, she never ever went on it but as the weeks have rolled by, l have become less strict because quite frankly, she is bored and it gives me a bit of headspace. Plus she gets to stay in touch with her friends. Love her to bits but spending this long with someone isn't natural! So am hoping when school reopens, things will change a bit

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