To want to keep this baby?

[CarrotCakeCrumbs]

I can't believe I have ended up in this position, but I have , there is no point in dwelling on how stupid I am I just have to figure out what the fuck to do now. I have just taken a pregnancy test and it is positive, I have no clue whatsoever how far along I am because I haven't had a period since I fell pregnant with my now 15 month old daughter. I don't even know what made me take the test other than I just had a feeling, one that I am completely irrationally now wishing I had ignored. Ignorance would truly be bliss.

I have a 4 year old and a 15 month old; I live with their dad and we are generally pretty happy together, we aren't destitute financially but we certainly aren't well off. We are renting a 2 bed flat, I work 3 nights a week and am a stay at home mum the rest of the time.

I am on a high dose on antidepressants. I had pre-eclampsia with my youngest that resulted in needing an emergency c-section. While my partner and me have been very happy, in fact he was quite eager for us to have another baby one day - I was the one who was unsure! - he has been very down the last few weeks, he is irritable and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells and I don't even feel like I can tell him - I think he's going to go mad.

I have always been strongly against abortion for myself - I do believe abortion needs to be available and that for many women it is the right choice, I have no judgement about any woman who does take that route - but for me personally I just don't think it is a choice I could live with. I have no idea if I want this baby or not, I only found out am hour ago and already I have swung from not wanting another baby - to thinking I do want the baby so many times that I feel dizzy. My head is spinning and I feel sick, please, please don't post any negative comments - I am well aware how stupid I have been, I can't take it back and believe me none of you can judge me or hate me more than I do myself right now, but I don't know what to do.

Keep the baby. Make sure there are no further accidental pregnancies so you can stay afloat financially. Hope it goes well for you.

@CarrotCakeCrumbs hey don’t hate yourself, you haven’t actually done anything wrong! You’re not the first woman to get pregnant unexpectedly and you won’t be the last!

Why don’t you try to relax, get yourself booked in for your first appointment, they may send you for an early scan if you’re not sure how far along you are and then you’ll know?

Have you told your partner?

Op my DH and I ‘wanted’ to have another baby at completely different times from one another. Now years done the line when we sorted out the reasons why behind the whys I can’t have children anymore.
Keep your baby - that’s what your gut is telling you.
Absolutely no judgement or hate from me.
Hope it all goes well

It may be too late for a termination anyway, but now you know, have you got any idea how far along you might be? Can you compare symptoms with your previous pregnancies.

It would be tough having a 3rd, but plenty of people make it work. You can too if that’s what you want.

Talk to your partner.

Talk to someone, call your local reproductive health clinic and request counselling.

Also, talk to your H. If he is all in then it may ease your fears.but I get it, ultimately you need to make a decision for you without pressure either way.

Call someone, talk through your fears.

If you go ahead, you will manage. I know someone who had 5 kids in a 2 bed flat! If you ultimately decide now is not the time, that is fine too. only you understand your reality. Strangers on the internet don’t walk in your shoes.

I understand, I couldn’t terminate either but don’t have any issue with others choosing that route.

I would tell DH and face the fallout. However he feels you’ll have to deal with it sooner or later, end of the day it’s your choice what you do xx

I haven't told my partner, he has barely spoken to me in the past 2 days. He has had some awful news about a family member who is dying, and so he is in a bad place, he tends to close off when he is upset. I'm terrified that this will push him to breaking point.

I am really, really hoping that I am very early on. I knew early with all of my other pregnancies (I had two miscarriages before my children), and I only really took the test on a feeling this time, but I have gained some weight which i put down to eating more and moving less during lockdown, and I suppose I've had some nausea but nausea is also a side effect of my sertraline.

Have you seen the tests that tell you approximately how far on you are? I had one last time. They are quite expensive but if you have a better idea how far on you are it may help you work out what to do next and at what point to tell your husband.
I think you should keep it if you are against abortion for yourself, it may be tough but you will find a way to make it work.

Sorry about your husbands bad news. This is a tricky time for you both. He shouldn't go mad at you though - it takes two of you after all!

I think you should keep the baby, sounds like you would regret a termination. Sorry to hear of dh family illness, perhaps the baby news will give him something positive to focus on.
Can you arrange an early scan to find out how far you are? as I have a friend who didn’t have periods and thought she was 1-2 months but she was actually 8 months gone! Not to scare you, but better to be prepared and get the maternity care you need. Good luck

I am well aware how stupid I have been, I can't take it back and believe me none of you can judge me or hate me more than I do myself right now
Why would anyone hate you? Accidents happen. Stop blaming yourself, you didn't do anything wrong.

do you think sertraline might affect the baby? you better see your gp and also learn how long you are gone.

Sertraline isn’t unlikely to harm the baby. Most SSSIs are alright in pregnancy, the risk is extremely small.

You clearly do want this baby, despite your fears. So good luck! You’ll be amazing xxxx

IS. Omg. Excuse my typo. Sertraline IS unlikely to harm baby

Keep the baby, book the vasectomy...