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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like going home?

22 replies

Wolfie11 · 29/08/2020 20:33

I’ve been with my parter/boyfriend for around 4 and a half years. For the past 6 months it’s been a LDR as he moved 500 miles away for work.

Two weeks ago was the first time he came back to visit me due to lockdown etc. He wanted to visit some mutual friends who we know from walking our dogs and who have helped sort issues with his property whilst he has been gone. No problem, we planned to go for a coffee for an hour or so. We left 8 hours later with him completely hammered and me demented. Friend is an alcoholic and can drink very, very heavily (think home brewed vodka). They are very nice people but I don’t really drink, especially not to the extent they do, so it was pretty miserable for me. We spoke about it afterwards and I made it clear that I wasn’t happy and as much as I like them, I didn’t want to be in that position again.

Fast forward to today, DP is back home again. We only have today and tomorrow together really and then it will be 3 weeks before we see each other. He told friends yesterday that we would go over for a bbq today. My allergies been awful the past few days, think streaming eyes and nose, constant sneezing, can’t breathe properly etc so regardless, I wasn’t up for it. I said that was fine, he could go round on his own. Somehow managed to let myself be talked into going round for an hour on the way back from walking the dogs. Turned into five hours of torture where I probably looked like a miserable bitch (because I am!) and they got hammered again. I mentioned about a hundred times about leaving and eventually just got up and put my jacket on and DP followed. He was so drunk he had been trying to give my dog cooked chicken bones and I had to keep removing stolen food from the three dogs in the garden as they were just leaving it at their arses. Came home, DP pawed at me wanting sex, then threw up and is in a drunken stupor next door whilst I’m in the spare room.

We are staying at his flat, I have my own place 20 miles away. Our relationship is far from perfect as it and right now I just want to pack up and drive home. AIBU?

OP posts:
LatteLover12 · 29/08/2020 20:37

Definitely go home! Take your dog and have a peaceful night without him.

He's not much of a catch is he?

Whatifitallgoesright · 29/08/2020 20:37

God yes go home. He's out of it, he won't notice your presence. Go back to your own space and do some pleasurable things for you. Wake up in peace without a stinky miserable hungover person who doesn't see what the big deal is.

AranciaRosso · 29/08/2020 20:38

There isn't even a question mark here. Go. Go and stay gone. You're on a hiding to nothing with this one and you really do deserve better. Set your bar much much higher!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 29/08/2020 20:39

Go home. You don't seem like a good match!

Croprotationinthe14thcentury · 29/08/2020 20:41

I would 100% go home.

exLtEveDallas · 29/08/2020 20:43

Go home

PinkiOcelot · 29/08/2020 20:44

I hope you’re on your way home!!

Justmuddlingalong · 29/08/2020 20:45

Go home. Spend a quiet night alone and stop trailing after him, doing things he wants but you don't.

Merryoldgoat · 29/08/2020 20:45

What do you get out of this? This is no way to live. Just go home and get rid of him.

Pipandmum · 29/08/2020 20:45

Why did you stay for five hours? You should have left long before. But you don't seem well suited so go home.

Blankblankblank · 29/08/2020 21:06

I wouldn’t have stayed 5 hours! I would definitely leave him to it now.

BrowncoatWaffles · 29/08/2020 21:10

Definitely go home. Have a good sleep, nice breakfast in the morning. Let him sober up and have a proper chat about it tomorrow.

If this is more than a one off then worth considering ditching him...

2ndAugust · 29/08/2020 21:10

He is not that into you, and I mean that with kindness. Find someone who is, life is too short for that shit.

lockdownalli · 29/08/2020 21:10

You sound more like his chauffeur than his girlfriend.

Fuck that shit. Flowers

ShalomToYouJackie · 29/08/2020 21:14

Go home, get a takeaway or some chocolate and chill out with your dogs. Why should you spend your time looking after him two nights in a row.

katy1213 · 29/08/2020 21:16

Ugh, go home - you don't want him pawing at you during the night. I think I'd be otherwise engaged next time he's home.

FippertyGibbett · 29/08/2020 21:43

Go home and stay there.

DontBeShelfish · 29/08/2020 21:50

Yeah, he's not going to change. I'd go home and tell him when he's sober that it's over. If you stay you'll just end up being painted as the miserable girlfriend who won't let him have any fun.

TokyoSushi · 29/08/2020 21:52

One million % go home!

oreshina · 29/08/2020 21:53

Yup go home and relax...xxx

TeaLibrary · 29/08/2020 21:53

Honestly OP. Pack up your things and get in the car. Go home now. Leave him to it and I would seriously reconsider being with someone who does this kind of thing.
Getting so drunk that you vomit is utterly disgusting. Pawing at you for sex is utterly revolting and unforgivable. He isn't someone you want to grow old with if this is the kind of shit he does.

Backtoschoolnotsoonenough · 29/08/2020 21:57

Personally I have no time for those who hold alcohol dear...

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