...to think that taking the moral high ground never actually makes me feel any better?!

[Weegle]

Whenever people are trying to goad me I always take the nicely nicely approach giving them no room to manoeuvre etc but this just leaves me seething with my pulse raging. This afternoon at the garden centre when I went back to my car the car on my DS' car seat side was parked over the line at an angle so I couldn't get DS back in the car. Went back in to garden centre and they put out a tannoy. Grumpy 60-odd woman came and first off refused to even go to the car saying she wasn't over the line. I, being pleasant, said "well could you just check because I really can't get my son in", so she huffed and went out to the car where she moved it so it was ON the line. I tried to get DS in but couldn't as there still wasn't enough room so again, all nicely asked her if she could just pull out whilst I got DS in. She huffed and puffed and swore under her breath. Then I thanked her and she stormed off! AIBU in thinking there was no point in being nice and polite but this woman would have in fact responded better to "move your f'ing car you grumpy f'ing woman, and don't get narky with me just because someone has pointed out how cr&p your parking is". Instead I drove all the way home feeling so angry!

Bottle it up. It's the British way.

I'd have been fuming too, but I never Say Anything either.

Sometimes I'm exaggeratedly nice - almost snarky even but I think afterwards that people probably just think I'm either just being nice or I'm a big wet lettuce.

Far too nice . A few years ago, i took my DDs to a local adventure park and got there nice and early and the next person in parked next to me but left quite a big gap.
But not so big as you could squeeze a car in.
After a lovely day out, went back to the car to find some NUT had parked their car into the said gap.
Impossible to open the driver's door so had to get in passenger side and squeeze in.
But the final straw was when i saw a scratch on my door which was NOT there before and a dent.
So angry was i, that i got my key out and gave them a lovely scratch back.
Don't suppose they would have noticed as it was quite an old beat up Volvo anyway!
Calm...deep breaths...
AB

OP - i just smile sickeningly, and wave dementedly like they were my very best friend.

works well to wind up those who deliberately cut you up, flash their lights at you and generally think that driving up your backside will make you go faster and/or pull over!

especially good if have kids in the car and the nutter is throwing v signs etc!!!

oh, i have an evil streak!

weegle, you did the right thing... just coz shes a sour old bat doesnt mean you have to be.

mind oyou, id have felt a bit miffed if i hadnt snapped in the end at her too.

I bet she's really cross that you didn't snap and were lovely though! People in that sort of mood want you to lose it so that they can conveniently forget that they're in the wrong and blame you. You reign triumphant in the winners stakes here, I'll hazard,

Think you did right cos if you'd ranted at her she may have refused to move the car at all! Know what you mean though about fuming afterwards! I tend to not keep my mouth shut but on the very rare occasion I have my day is ruined because I'm kicking myself for not saying anything and I seethe and take it out on anyone who happens to be around!!

oh scummymummy is so right. i bet she felt like a teeny tiney shitty thing afterwards HAHAHAHAHAHA

The best thing is to finish off the sickening niceness by adopting the same tone you use your children: "you're obviously having a terrible day, never mind" in the most patronising, sympathetic tone you can muster.

It makes them swear. And then you can smile even more sympathetically and say "there there, never mind, never mind..."

I wish I could be as nice as you had, to be honest the grumpy old bat was probably more wound up because you were so nice and not in anyway confrontational. So many situations like this can get completely out of hand because people get so annoyed

Think Karma Weegle!! What goes around, comes around!! I think it's always best to be polite and if there are any on lookers at least you know when they got home and told the story you would have looked like the angel and the grumpy old bag would have been made out to be.....well a grumpy old bag!!!

agree - carry on being polite and smiley. Sometimes you can be quite sarky while giving the impression that you are beong polite.

I was called in for an apointment at the hospital once and the doctor didn't know why I was there. I said "Oh dear - I seem to be wasting your time" She said "On - no - you're not wasting my time" and I said (while smiling very pleasnatly throughout) "Oh - just mine then..."

Agree that silly woman is probably seething that she can't moan about you!

i used to be all nice with ppl who were rude etc to me and like you say, go off feeling very angry that i didnt say something and let them walk all over me.
im not like that anymore and tell to just get shitty back. but this doent make me any happier. now ppl just think im aggressive

i think you handled it perfectly - you had a young child with you too so it is far better not to lose your rag

well done you

thanks girls, I'm still seething today though! (only when I think about it obviously). But you're right - she can't have even moaned to anyone without looking totally in the wrong and it probably wound her up no end that I was so nice so she couldn't get any more confrontational.