What makes you scream inside? (slightly light-hearted)

[ThirdTimeUnlucky]

For me - DP cooks a decent meal then goes on and on about how good it was. I agree but then it escalates to 'aren't I a brilliant cook' or 'you've got to admit I'm great in the kitchen' etc, blah blah blah. Does my nut in. I cook all the time and am happy with a 'thank you, that was nice'. End of!
(((((scream)))))).
AIBU to silently scream and not heap on huge praise? I cook all the time and he cooks now and then, usually something a bit fancy, using every utensil in the house. Yeah it's nice but he's not going to get on Master Chef or anything. (((((still screaming))))
light hearted - I realise I'm being OTT
Anyone else agree or have any different silent scream issues?

DH also never closes the wet wipes or, as they're known in this house, dry wipes.

@Oysterbabe

DH also never closes the wet wipes or, as they're known in this house, dry wipes.

OMG my teenage DS drives me nuts leaving the wet wipes open

I'm going to start calling them dry wipes too from now on

Men in shorts. Could be fit as fuck, but shorts? No

Sorry, can't agree on this. It makes rugby even more worth watching

DH not tidying his shit up especially after a DIY job when he eventually gets round to it. Complete fuckin rage 🤬

People who witter on about their mundane familial or personal habits in excessive detail as if they're of the remotest interest to anyone else.

Weird ,and wonderful ,,,, punctuation that... makes "no" sense at all !

People who think they're the most delicate, special - and therefore fascinating - person on the face of the earth.

I could go on...

@Oysterbabe

DH also never closes the wet wipes or, as they're known in this house, dry wipes.

This is the opposite of what I had in mind - that's quite witty, and amusing enough that it will give other people a wry smile.

Details of how your family "always" sit when on a plane are not.

Face masks on young children. Face masks on anyone really apart from surgeons about to operate and hospital theatre staff. But particularly grim on children, even “fun” face masks with cartoon characters on them.

[quote LasagneLady]@cologne4711 agree about impact as a verb, yeuch! Why are things always being impacted when we used to say affected? Also so much corporate speak like having to share info with colleagues. Why can't I just TELLthem?[/quote]
Surely "cascade down" or "reach out" are far worse. (Along with ubiquitous overuse of "myself" and "yourself".)

Needs gone.

listening to DH bite his nails - although I'm not silent about it

If I ask my husband if he would like a coffee he frowns in a pained way as if I had asked him to recite Harry Potter books backwards in Swahili.

It's a simple enough yes/no decision, surely?

People who write 'ect'.

It's an abbreviation of et cetera. Why is it so hard for people to get right?

E.T.C.

Gives me the utter rage.

My friend who texts or posts on SM - 'could of/should of'. Makes me see red.

@TokyoSushi

Needs gone.

This drives me mad, the new presenter on Homes under the Hammer speaks like this constantly, needs gone, needs decorated, argh 😖

DP's most recently annoying response to me calling something to him was a bellowed 'HELLO?' (with an exaggerated upward inflection, which frequently irritates)

You're not on a fucking satellite phone to Australia or communicating with aliens/Lionel Ritchie, you dipstick. Normal people say 'Yes?', 'Yeah?', 'Hmmm?' or better, just turn around and fucking look at me.

And mumblers/whisperers/mouth coverers. I can't hear you. With you deliberately covering your mouth, making a special effort to demonstrate your skills at ventriloquism, moving your lips but not engaging your vocal chords and/or turning your face away, I can't lipread you either. Oh, for fuck's sake, now you're fucking crying at me. I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS. I can see you're not happy. I would love to be able to help you. But you need to tell me what is wrong. Even if it is that you haven't done your homework so have immediately and purely coincidentally developed a tummy ache that means you want your Mum to come and fetch you. And, naturally, I'm being extra gentle with my words and tone whilst this is all going on.

@Trailing1

People walking on the cycle path who won't move when you bell to warn them of your presence. (Aware that I sound completely precious here)

That'll be me on the shared use path or pavement.

I can't fucking hear you. And even if I could, I can't jump out of the way that quickly.

More hearing related rage.

DP deciding the moment I've got my good ear to the pillow and the earphone in the shit one to try and take out the constant fucking HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssss so I can go to sleep that it's the perfect moment to start talking to me.

And then when I sit up and look at him, he fucking MUMBLES THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Seriously, the light is off. I can't see what you're saying and my back is to you anyhow, I can't hear what you've said. I've got back up just as I began to relax. I'm wide awake again. OF COURSE IT FUCKING MATTERS WHAT YOU SAID.

Dh walking past the wheelie bins that need putting out to get to his car. So that I have to go out and drag them myself.

Retired DM getting stressed about her ‘busy’ life..can’t possibly organise x because also got to see y for coffee and drop book off to z and the plumber is coming at 3 to check that dodgy shower.

I glaze over/silent scream as I think about me and DH doing all those things plus more plus work plus look after small children. You’re retired, just change the date with x or y or z and r..e..l..a..x.

Cyclists who whizz up behind you without warning on the pavement. Ring your bell or use the road!

People who leave things BESIDE the dishwasher or washing machine instead of putting the things IN.

People who answer the question they think you are asking instead of the one you actually asked.

With regard to grammar pedantry, I hate the misuse of 'myriad.' It's "I saw myriad colours." Not "I saw a myriad of colours."

I had no idea! I've been using this wrong all my life, apparently, and no one has ever corrected me. I'm a non-native English speaker, but I lived in the UK for years. I wish someone would have told me.

"Guys"
I am not a guy. Just fucking stop.

Dh not being able to hear me when I ask him a question. The reason might be he’s too far away, engrossed in something, headphones on, he’s behind a door etc etc. But! If I’m in the same situation and he talks to me - it’s apparently not understandable to him, that I can’t he’s thin either. (Even if I can hear, I refuse to acknowledge it as I why should I be able to hear when he conveniently can’t? He’s not deaf.)

Being reminded to "... And breathe"
I'm doing it all the time. I don't need to take a special break from what I'm doing to breathe (unless I'm swimming underwater or blowing up balloons)

My life

People eating with mouth open/smacking lips

Stupid slang words

The horrible stigma/presumptions a lot of people have about single parents (vast majority of us never chose to become solely responsible for our DC's childhoods!) There was a poster on here the other day who said (about single parents) "They've made their beds, so they need to lie in them!" Absolutely infuriating. Some of us are widows!!!
Sorry, bit of a tangent there Once I start.....

The word "delicious" 😩🙉

Online bullies/trolls

My husband waits until I have walked into another room (especially if its the kitchen where the kettle is boiling/dishwasher is running) and then makes some conversational remark at me.

I think about mixing cement and mentally rehearse lines like "I don't know officer, he said he was going fishing" at these moments.