Help with confidentiality at work.

[Ritasueandbobtoo]

Hi. I posted a while back about my husband telling his employers too much, well in my opinion anyway.
Bit of a back story. Last year I had some severe mental health issues and I ended up being arrested for something that is really awful and I'm too ashamed to say on here.
My husband works in a very small workplace consisting of the people who own the house, a PA and 4 other members of staff. He told the owners and pa everything that happened. I have found out that the pa has told one of his colleagues everything too. This happened yesterday when someone I barely knew asked me if I was ok and if anything came from me being arrested, I asked where this info had come from and she said the girls name and that pa had told her and it is pretty much common knowledge on the private estate we live on.
I'm quite embarrassed by the fact people know and very upset. I don't know if I'm overreacting but is this against the law?
I hope it makes sense and any clarification on the matter would be gratefully recieved.
Thankyou.

I wouldn’t be happy either why is Dh telling people. I could understand his family or very close friends for support but why tell everyone at work? Did he not make it clear to those he did tell to keep this private at least?

Oh dear, how stressful for you. Unfortunately I can't see what law could have been broken.

But I think it was unhelpful of your husband to tell people.

I also cannot see how a law could have been broken. But I agree it was very indiscreet of your husband and I would not be happy either.

Thankyou for replies, yes husband said to keep it private and maybe law was too strong a word, I thought their were confidentiality guidelines that had to be adhered and that I could maybe complain.
I don't know what to do, I'm just angry at the min and need a vent.

@Ritasueandbobtoo

Thankyou for replies, yes husband said to keep it private and maybe law was too strong a word, I thought their were confidentiality guidelines that had to be adhered and that I could maybe complain. I don't know what to do, I'm just angry at the min and need a vent.

He could complain if he told them in a work capacity actually, as in 'im stressed because of X situation at home'. They could have reached his right to confidentiality.

Have you asked him why he told them?

It's not against the law.

I bet your husband needed support from work at the time so told them what was going on.

I'd try and move on to be honest.

I don't think any conversation between workmates about themselves would be covered by any confidentiality clause. Your DH ihas caused you problems by sharing your personal information, even if he asked them to keep it secret he must have known that was,kt going to happen.

No help to you now though, I suppose you have no choice but to ride it out.

I remember you posting and I'm sorry it's come out as this was your concern at the time.

I think if he had just left it with the owners it would have been fine as they probably would have felt a duty of confidentiality as I assume they are his employers?

But once the PA knew, who is a colleague rather than his boss, then it probably stopped being a secret.

Your husband released the information so it’s him you should be upset at.

Thankyou for replying. I thought that it wouldn't be covered by confidentiality clauses. I suppose I will just have to let it go regarding the work colleague gossiping and let my husband know that he cannot discuss issues in such detail with his boss.
I understand he would need support from work but he never took anymore than a day off so he didnt have to give them all the glory details and the PA had no right to tell his colleague has it had no direct effect on her role and she should have definitely not told other people.
I will put my big girl pants on and rise above it.
Thankyou for helping me make sense of it all.

I disagree. Though I'm not sure that op can pursue anything. Her oh certainly can, especially as he asked for it not to be disclosed. He would need to make a grievance though. I don't think this would be covered under gdpr though as its not about the employee as such.

I think you should be able to tell a boss if there is an issue at home, and it remain confidential. And a PA (didn't know they still existed nowadays) should be a person who can be trusted with confidential matters.

Your OH should complain.

It’s so difficult in a small team to firstly protect people’s privacy and secondly raise concerns. Your DH May feel he doesn’t want to rock the boat but if you feel strongly enough he should support you.

It doesn’t have to be “on the record” just something like X spoke to my wife and obviously had been told the situation by Y and I don’t appreciate things said on confidence being shared with others without my knowledge. Can we agree that doesn’t happen again? Then hopefully move on

That sounds very distressing. You say you had severe mental health illness at the time of your arrest, and that you are too embarrassed to say what you were arrested for. Is there any chance that you have magnified it in your mind and that, actually, it wasn't so awful after all? I'd be surprised if someone would be so direct with you, if the arrest was really so shameful, tbh.

It depends on how he told them. If he had a meeting and gave them formal insight into something in his personal life, that has to stay confidential.

If someone asked why he was glum and he told them in a non-official capacity, that is not protected.

You also need to remember that this was his experience too. He absolutely has the right to talk about it. Far too often, spouses are asked to keep secrets about addiction or mental health even though the spouse is living with it just as much as the person with the problem. That isn’t ok. It fosters isolation and keeps the spouse from getting the support they need.

No laws broken, it’s not like you can sue your DH. I’d have a serious word with him. I would feel that he’d broken my confidence tho regardless of the reasons.

Rise above it and regard it as part of your recovery. It's disappointing that people will gossip like this but focus on how well you've done.

If an employee tells their employer something personal about health issues, either their own or those of a family member, they are absolutely entitled to expect that information to remain confidential.

I'm appalled, quite frankly.

@sycamorecottage

If an employee tells their employer something personal about health issues, either their own or those of a family member, they are absolutely entitled to expect that information to remain confidential.

I'm appalled, quite frankly.

But the person who told is a PA, not the employer, so a colleague, who was presumably told in an informal way?

It depends how your husband relayed it OP. If he told his manager during a confidential meeting to explain why his performance or attendance at work was impacted and the PA heard it in this capacity you may have a GDPR claim. If he just told a group of colleagues informally / for moral support etc then you can’t do anything.

Hi. He told his employers in a confidential way and asked them especially the PA to keep it under wraps as we live in a very small village.
I totally understand he needs support but surely not from people you hardly know, maybe he needed someone not so close to us, I don't know.
Funny thing in all this is we both had to sign something to say we would keep their life confidential. He works for a lord and lady and we live in the grounds of their home. We also live on the same road as PA and his other colleagues.
And no I'm not making what I did much worse in my head.
Just to clarify the PA told his other colleague and then the colleague has told her friends and that's how it's got back to me.
My husband is absolutely livid that they have told other colleague but more so that she has gone onto gossip. I probably wouldn't have been that bothered they knew I had been arrested but I didnt want them knowing what for. Living in a small village does come with the downside of everybody knowing everybody's business.
Thankyou for your replies.