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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS friendship with disruptive boy

2 replies

marmite14 · 28/08/2020 22:27

I have a 5yr old ds who will be going in to yr 1 next week. We live in a small village with all children attending the local village school .There is one boy in my ds year who is very very badly behaved and disruptive in school - kicking, hitting plus, throwing food a lunchtime one quite violet incident by him towards another child back in January.

The only child this boy likes is my ds, and my ds likes playing with him. Back in January, in order to try and help him settle his parents tried to encourage a friendship with our DS, which became quite suffocating, with them waiting for us a school gate at drop off and pick up, joining the same football club, telling everyone that the boys were best friends etc. We know this boys parents and find the mum very judgemental especially about how other children are raised and a total snob (she is very selective on who her kids play with and we certainly didn't fit the bill until they stated having issues). If the shoe was on the other foot and my ds was disruptive she would cross the street to avoid us, so we feel a bit used! Anyway, she has invited us to a playdate on Wednesday with 2 other children from school and I know my ds would love to go. I can't face the thought of an afternoon with this woman, plus I'm not keen to promote a friendship with this boy, but aibu making my ds miss out? I know that if I liked the parents I'd be more supportive, so my view is definitely clouded by this, but I'm not keen on him being around the boy or the parents.

OP posts:
Caterinaballerina · 28/08/2020 22:30

I’d be busy if I were you just until you get a feel for how this boy has grown over the months out of school and settles back in for the new school year.

Burntbiscuits · 28/08/2020 22:35

My children are oldet, but when they were little, if they were invited somewhere and wanted to go, I took them. Simple as that. It's only a short time really that they need your supervision on playdates so I'd suck it up for his sake.
In fact, yr 1 probably don't really need supervision tbh so if you really can't face it, make up a hair appointment but say ds won't want to miss out, so would it be ok to drop him off for an hour?
With regards the actual friendship - there is no way parents can truly influence who their child is friends with - they either will be or they won't. Don't bother trying to steer him away. He'll probably have a different "best friend" in 6 months anyway.

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