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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reported my neighbour

72 replies

Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 21:52

We got new neighbours behind us 2 years ago, the guy approached us to ask if he could have his gardener cut the height of our trees. We purchased our property with one the benefits being the mature trees and we regularly maintained them (compared to the other neighbours beside us, ours aren't as tall). We told him we were happy with our tree surgeon and that we got them cut regularly as it was, we were content with this arrangement and that we valued our privacy (they cover the view into our bedroom windows).

He then approached us again 6 months later asking the same thing and asking my oh to go into his garden, we were not happy with his insistent approach, but politely wrote a letter confirming what we had told him before and attached a photo of our trees from our garden.

He then cut the trees in his garden and at the time probably thinned quite a few of ours within our boundary, but we let it go. Now 2 years later, he has cut the top off one of our trees definitely in our garden and our neighbours behind can now see into our bedroom. If the tree would grow up again, I wouldn't have said anything but I was informed it won't. I felt very angry at what had happened and annoyed he hadnt listened to us, not to cut the trees in our garden so I went to the police. The went round and had a chat with him and he said he didnt do it, it was his gardener, etc.

We then tried to put up a new fence within our garden and he came and threatened our handymen. Nothing has happened since thankfully but our fence was left unfinished and I'm regretting going to the police as I've made our house harder to sell. Is there any way I can solve this? Did I do the wrong thing?

OP posts:
TheCanyon · 28/08/2020 21:57

You went to the police after not even bothering your ease to go see them from his side? You might like the trees for privacy, but why should others suffer?

SunshineCake · 28/08/2020 21:59

Where's the suffering because someone can't see into someone else's bedroom?Hmm.

FOJN · 28/08/2020 22:02

You might like the trees for privacy, but why should others suffer?

The trees were there when the neighbours moved in. It's not reasonable to buy a house thinking you can bully the neighbours into altering their garden to suit you.

I'd have reported him again for threatening the people doing work on your property.

Shizzlestix · 28/08/2020 22:03

You went to the police? And reported what, exactly? Get a TPO (tree protection order) if you’re that bothered. In what way did he threaten your handyman? Can’t you complete the fence yourself? You have shot yourself in the foot if you want to sell, yes, as you’ll have to declare any neighbour disputes.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 28/08/2020 22:04

You might like the trees for privacy, but why should others suffer?

They bought the house knowing the trees were there. They were within the ops boundary. The neighbour had no right to cut the trees in someone else's garden

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 28/08/2020 22:07

It's done now. Fuck him. Don't engage with him anymore, he's a twat.

Veterinari · 28/08/2020 22:08

This thread is already bonkers. Neighbour has destroyed OP's property and threatened her handyman yet posters are piling on to tell her she's in the wrong Hmm

MN really is full of contrary arseholes sometimes

OP you did nothing wrong. Your neighbour us clearly a cunt and a bully. Finish your fence and continue to report him for his threatening behaviour.

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:09

The canyon, I can see your point and am now a bit sorry I didn't. At the time, I just feel that no matter what we wanted, he was intent on getting his way regardless. E felt it was a bit offensive for him to suggest after only moving in that we weren't marinating our garden to his liking. It's this attitude that for me, and yes the trees were there when he viewed the house. I'm starting to feel though I should've just turned a blind eye as I know have to declare this dispute if we want to sell, possibly losing thousands. I feel a fool for giving in to my emotions.

OP posts:
Meadowland · 28/08/2020 22:09

We had this problem when our neighbour's trees were so tall they blocked out all the sunlight in our garden. We too went and asked politely.
Fortunately in our case they were reasonable people and saw it from our point of view and agreed to trim them.

RandomUser3049 · 28/08/2020 22:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:09

Ps. Thanks for the opinions and replies so far

OP posts:
FOJN · 28/08/2020 22:10

Don't think I'd get a TPO. A neighbour dispute and a TPO would not enhance the saleability of your house.
Reporting your neighbour might not be a problem if they decide to move before you want to sell.

RHRA · 28/08/2020 22:11

Is there a time limit on when disputes have to be declared when selling a property?
I thought it was 6 years but might be wrong.
Unfortunately you live beside a out and out bully who doesn’t have any common decency.
As regards the back fence, if you are erecting it on your side of the boundary, as long as it’s within permitted height, what’s the problem? What was his beef with your handyman?
Could you maybe put a tall shed in front of the unfinished fence and give yourself a bit more privacy?
Don’t know what the canyon is wittering on about Confused

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/08/2020 22:13

Can’t you complete the fence yourself?

That’s a weird thing to say. Why would someone hire a handyman if they could do the job themselves?

sleepingdragon · 28/08/2020 22:13

Did you get compensation from him for chopping one of your trees?

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:13

I think I was considering the other trees on our street which are taller than ours, and know that they rarely if ever get them pruned, yet we did every 1/2 years, were shorter in height than others but yet he still wanted them cut more. Also We live on a hill so their house/garden is higher up than ours. I just wish it hadnt happened and I'd reacted differently, not to reduce the appeal of our property.

OP posts:
RHRA · 28/08/2020 22:15

Also, I bet if your handyman looked like Mike Tyson, dickhead bully neighbour wouldn’t have threatened him.

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:16

Well, we are now going to have to finish the fence ourselves in time, most likely but ultimately we just want peace. We didnt get compensation as we didnt want the stress of going to court etc. I forgot to mention he also left all of the branches/ tops of trees that he cut in our garden to dispose of. We had to hire a van man to get rid of it. We never asked him for money as we knew it was pointless. Our other neighbours are loving the dispute.

OP posts:
RHRA · 28/08/2020 22:17

If it hadn’t have been the trees, it would have been something else, so stop beating yourself up. Be vigilant that the neighbour doesn’t damage your property again. Maybe CCTV or don’t leave your property empty.

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:18

I was hoping that with time, this dispute might not matter to a prospective buyer, providing there is no further action from him. It's just a nightmare we never thought we'd me involved in

OP posts:
FOJN · 28/08/2020 22:23

OP you have done nothing wrong. I appreciate you want peace but don't be bullied, your neighbour is completely in the wrong. He is guilty of criminal damage and believe it or not throwing the cut branches over to your side without your permission is classed as fly tipping. Multiple websites just told me so. Not to mention threatening workmen on your property.

RHRA · 28/08/2020 22:23

Our other neighbours are loving the dispute

Is this just your paranoia ? The other neighbours should count themselves lucky they don’t share a boundary. I’m sure if these other neighbours are reasonable people they should be able to see a situation for what it is. It is mortifying, have encountered similar myself but maybe you should have complained to the police about the threat to your handyman too.

Original poster
Babybrain26 · 28/08/2020 22:23

Had considered a tpo fojn but Its a bit of hassle if we want to maintain them ourselves, having to ask the council each time. Also I think there may be a cost but cant remember. Its not our nature to complain usually, so I'm second guessing my actions too. I have anxiety/crohns/arthritis and an 8 month old baby. Oh has aspergers so wouldn't have been able to communicate in an assertive/appropriate manner completely, which is why I felt the police was the only option as he hadnt listened to us before. Beating myself up.

OP posts:
FOJN · 28/08/2020 22:29

You have a dispute on record now do there is no point in backing down or it will have been for nothing. I'd see if you can chat to a Solicitor, a letter outlining his crimes and spelling out the consequences if he doesn't stop his bullying behaviour might be enough to make him stop.
Your other neighbours sound as if they are bored and enjoying a drama which doesn't involve them.

LooseleafTea · 28/08/2020 22:30

Don’t beat yourself up , you did a sensible thing imo and he had no right to cut your tree whatsoever. He’s also dishonest blaming his gardener whom he would have definitely instructed, and sounds unreasonable and unfair to make you feel like this.

I wouldn’t give it too much thought if you can help it as even if you need to mention it to prospective buyers you can just explain it as it is and that nothing further happened .

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