Or is the L word not important?

[Burntbiscuits]

Just want a consensus really. My dh of 12 years has stopped saying it in the last couple of years, I don't recall exactly when was the last time. He used to say it when leaving for work but he is now retired so doesn't - I don't say it when leaving but used to say it back him when he did. I used to say it before going to sleep but as I no longer get a response, I suppose I stopped. I say it now on occasion - during sex foe example and maybe 1 other time per week I guess.
When questioned he quite casually says he just doesn't want to say it, no big reason. I asked "Well don't you love me? " and he said "well I do, but I just don't feel like saying it". Says he may never say it again.

So, is this important? Would this be a deal breaker for you? I think it's so sad but perhaps I'm being sentimental?

DH doesn’t really tell me he loves me. Together 10 years, married 4. He doesn’t even say it back when I say it to him. It drives me mad! I’ve talked to him about it but he looks at me as if I’m crazy “of course I love you!?” He seems to think saying it often diminishes its meaning.

I feel like you might be over thinking the importance of the word love. Loving someone doesn’t come from saying I love you, it’s either there or no there. Many people say it and don’t mean it. Many people never say it, but love is there from them. Many times love is shown in actions, not words. So I’d take a step back and look at the big picture of the relationship- words and actions. Then decide if anything is off or not.

I get annoyed when my oh tells me he loves me. It's really easy to say it, I'd far rather he showed it and he doesn't.

Very interesting, thank you everyone. I can see more on than one perspective now. Especially interesting hearing from @plan and @picklypickles