This is not normal is it? (Time of the month related)

[willowweep]

NC for obvious reasons.

For the past 6months or so I have been noticing a change in the run up to that time of the month. I've always had quite painful periods but generally never many symptoms apart from sore boobs in the run up. Now about a week or week and a half before I'm a lot more emotional, get tearful at absolutely random stuff and I'm a lot more sensitive, I also get angry very fast. I've just screamed and shouted at DCs 4 and 7 over silly bickering they did in the bath, I told them 2 or 3 times xyz doesn't matter, we are out of the bath in a minute so just leave it, they carried on and one hurt the other, DCs now in tears as I've shouted and told them they're not staying up (Friday night treat).

My reaction was completely disproportionate to their behaviour, I'm still really angry now and wish I had a punching bag in the house so I could take my anger out on it. Another side of me is also ready to angry cry as I'm feeling very annoyed and frustrated at myself. I'm failing them by these outbursts.

But this is completely not normal behaviour or feeling for me, at times I'm left seething at small things and have a much shorter fuse, I try and keep it in check best I can but still feel it all inside and know it's not normal.

I'm only in my 20s and this is as I said a quite recent shift for me - what can I do about it? Do I just accept its what happens and try and deal with it best I can or should I speak to somebody ?

This is my normal

In the run up to my period i lose my rag so easily over the smallest things like the DCs bickering about toys or whatever.

I have pMT now actually and yesterday I was trying to fix something in the kitchen and kept dropping the tool I was using (anyone else get more clumsy in the week before their period?) Anyway, I dropped it for the sixth or seventh time and I just flipped. Threw a Tupperware lid on the floor so hard it cracked. I felt like a massive twat immediately afterwards. Luckily no one was around to see it. When I don’t have PMT I am pretty laid back.

Maybe it’s not normal? Maybe we both need help?!

It's normal for some people. I have PMDD which makes me both aggressive and suicidal every month but with the help of a gynaecologist this is now managed with medication. Big hugs.

@RUOKHon I can definitely relate, it's just not been the case for the past 15+ years since I got my period up until the beginning of this year so I just don't know how normal it is to change like that.

I hate what it makes me.

That it's a shift makes me wonder if there may be an underlying issue. I had a similar shift in my late-twenties after having kids (similar moods, as well as headaches and other things).

Eventually, it turned out that I was severely deficient in a couple things (my Vit. D was in 'how are you functioning' levels), somewhat deficient in others. It happened before, but it wasn't connected to my menstrual issues until I was at my wits ends with the GP and I had a great nurse practitioner look over my latest results and talk me through what I needed to be taking once I came off the prescription-level stuff, with the caveat that I needed to continue them pretty much for the foreseeable future. I still get the headaches, but my mood is a million times better and more stable now and some of other issues are dealt with. I'm also finding a lot of other little things that I'd let slide over the years while running after kids (really working on more water at the moment, I feel so much better when I get enough, but I so often get caught up in things and I just...don't until I'm badly off).

@PurBal Can I ask what sort of medication? I get similar PMT and have been trying herbal remedies but I’ve not noticed a huge difference.

Take a look at Dr Maryon Stewart. She has a practise or books on this. You can ‘cure’ it with supplements, exercise and diet.
It’s due to hormonal imbalance - and improving nutrition makes a difference. My Pmt completely went when I followed her advice. My NHS Doctor only offered anti depressants

@PurBal your perspective is really interesting are you able to share which gynaecologist you are under? I’ve been to my GP who practiced sertraline but it didn’t agree with me at all from a gastronomic perspective. I feel completely out of control for a week a month and last month called the Samaritans... really think I need someone who understands as a speciality.

It's normal. But the fact it's not normal for you would suggest you might need to get checked over in case something else has changed. You might be able to do something about it.

Don't beat yourself up. That's really important. You shouted at your children - it doesn't make you a monster or a criminal. Hormones are enormously powerful. Unexpected PMT hormones are like a tornado. At least now you know you may be affected in this way, and can mitigate the risks each month. Can you beat up a pillow? Go somewhere to do some primal screaming? Have you got any chocolate cake?

Nurture yourself. Then you'll be in a better place to nurture your children.

You sound like me when I was on the pill. I was a nightmare to be honest. Once I changed to the mirena coil things improved drastically. Are you on the pill?

This is normal for me too, but I have diagnosed dysmenorrhea.

If it's not normal for you, please get it checked out. It could be something as simple as a slight hormone imbalance.

I found that as I got older the emotional aspects of PMT got worse. I used to get very needy and paranoid just before my period, from the age of about 30 onwards.

Normal for me but as others say I'd get it checked out.

I am older than you so probably in peri menopause but I get the same feelings.

I have found that the best cure is exercise. I feel so much better afterwards.

@Minimamame

You sound like me when I was on the pill. I was a nightmare to be honest. Once I changed to the mirena coil things improved drastically. Are you on the pill?

I was going to ask the same thing.

I was on the pill (Yasmin) for years and no problems. Then suddenly started getting symptoms like you described. Took me a while to realise that it was my pill causing it, for some reason.
Came off it and perfect since.

I would literally feel like kicking a door in. I’m not a violent person so it scared me. It really impacted on my relationship too.

My anger levels before my period is due is how I know each month that I am not pregnant (we’re trying). Things that I’d barely usually notice and not even blink at make me so angry. I’ve only been aware of it probably since my 30’s.

Have you changed you birth control? This reminds me of when I had the implant

Following with great interest. Since hitting my late
Thirties post children my anger levels go through the roof in the week before my period. I'm just awful.

Thanks everyone.

I'm not in the pill or on any hormonal birth control so it can't be that. My vitamin D was very low during my pregnancies so wouldn't be surprised if it maybe had something to do with that perhaps...

I think it's time to make an appointment with the GP, what do I tell them though? - that I feel like I turn into Hulk Smash a few days before I'm due?

I feel so bad for my DCs it's not the first time it happened, the younger one looked so hurt, they had lots of cuddles after but it's like sticking a tiny plaster on a wound isn't it, I shouldn't be acting that way in the first place.

I keep seeing ads for Thriva everywhere. I don't really want to bother my doctor for something that seems not that important in the big scheme of things for now.

Anyone got any experience of it?