To suggest separate rooms?

[Bioprepper]

Me and DH have been together for 20 years. We have always shared a bed and a room and there are no problems with this (no snoring etc).

I am about to start a new job which requires me to be up very early. To do this I need to go to bed early as I love my sleep and couldn’t stand only 5 hours. Trouble is DH loves sitting in bed in the evenings working or watching tv. I can not fall asleep with the light and/or tv on anymore.

I suggested I get a fold up bed and sleep in the living room Monday - Friday and in our bed weekends and school holidays (I’m a teacher). He is not happy about this, says he doesn’t sleep well when I’m not there, the kids may I think it’s weird and we are getting a divorce etc etc.

I suggested he goes to bed early then or maybe works/watches tv in the living room before bed. He’s being an arse about changing his routine just because I chose to get a new job.

AIBU suggesting we sleep apart or is there another solution I’m not thinking about?

He needs to stop watching telly in bed!

Why is he spending the evenings holes up in the bedroom and not with the kids?

Could you maybe wear a sleep mask to black the room out for you, and he wear headphones if he's watching TV?

Of course YANBU

Beds should be for sleeping (and sex..) unless specifically agreed. He is the one who should read/work/watch tv somewhere else.

TVs in bedrooms are an awful idea anyway. That said, there's always 1 person at least who ends the night in a different bed in my house but that's the kids fault! Nothing wrong in going in spare room or living room to sleep, happens a lot here between pregnancy/illness/ insomnia/ kids invasion...

You go to bed when you’re ready. He follows you up a few hours later when he’s ready, being sure to keep noise and lights to a minimum. It’s not difficult really.

You go when you are ready. He watches tv downstairs. Anything else is selfish on his part. The bed for is only to be used for the 3 S’s
Sickness, Sleep or Shagging

@00100001 the kids are teenagers and go do their own thing after a certain time in their own rooms. This is later on when they are listening to music or have gone to bed themselves.

He does listen to work stuff and music with headphones so that’s a good idea for the tv too, thanks. It’s more the blinking light because even in darkness with the tv on I can still sleep fairly ok.

I think we need a have a talk about it, I’m guessing it’s me just trying to avoid a row tbh.

Couldn’t he just sit downstairs and then come up to bed to sleep when he wants to? That seems the logical option.

@Newfornow

You go when you are ready. He watches tv downstairs. Anything else is selfish on his part. The bed for is only to be used for the 3 S’s Sickness, Sleep or Shagging

you are too kind, there's a perfectly good spare bed for sickness and not disturbing anyone

Well he can choose - you stay in the Main bedroom and he uses it for sleep only or he uses the Main bedroom for whatever he likes and you sleep elsewhere.

These are his choices.

And if I were you I'd keep a close eye on what else he is doing to make you working seem not worth the effort.

So basically his only solution is for you to get 5 hours sleep every night and not be able to function? That's very very selfish of him

My OH had to go to bed stupidly early so he’s in another room. Makes much more sense.

My DH is up at 5am daily, so he goes to bed early and I follow up when I'm ready to sleep and get changed in the bathroom so I don't switch lights on or anything.

I wouldn't deliberately do something in the bedroom if I know it is going to disturb his sleep, that's just mean.

No don’t sleep on a fold up bed, your dh can watch tv downstairs and creep into bed when he is ready.

YANBU