To not be able to sleep due to intrusive thoughts about work return

[LouiseTrees]

I’m sitting downstairs in a darkened room wondering why my mind can’t switch off. DD (9 months) woke up at 3 (daddy got up with her) and was blissfully back asleep more than 45 mins ago. Yet here I am, unable to switch off. I’m probably worried about going back to work because they don’t appreciate my efforts ( well they do and they don’t). I don’t go back til November but it’s just all kicking in that I’m on the countdown to having to work again. Why am I such a hard case on the outside and so bloody fragile internally? How do I switch off and go to sleep? She’ll be back up in 3 hours, I need my sleep.

Not really an AIBU but hoping that people will either say yes you are being ridiculous and here’s some sleep tips or no YANBU and we’re here with you.

Happy place. Think off your happy place, or use mine, sailing boat with my feet trailing through the water. Wind in my hair, sun on my back. Really think yourself there.

I’m gonna try and use yours. I’m honestly not sure I can use mine as it would probably be with some family in Spain but obviously I can’t actually visit there due to this stupid freaking virus.

I find place, rather than people, useful. People are distracting. Place is sensory so it works better.

Yeh it’s not working.

If you still can't get to sleep, change tactics. Rather than worrying about going back to work, think about where you'd prefer to work and plan how you're going to make that happen.

Sometimes accepting sleep is not going to come for now is helpful whilst you try to distract your mind from its worrying by reading or watching something absorbing or funny.

Probably a bit late now but if I'm in a circle of anxiety during the night it's often best not to lie there/sit there stressing about not being asleep. Grab yourself a hot chocolate (or a decaf something), grab a book (either something new or an old favourite) or pop some mindless telly on. Focus on your breathing, and every time your mind races back to the issue you are stressed about, force it back to "celebs in the sun" (or whatever crap you've put on!).

Someone once said to me (I was having CBT) that we have to treat the brain like a muscle. We don't expect athletes to be perfect straight away, it takes work. Meditation and calming takes practice. So yes your brain will keep going back to what you are stressing about - so keep bringing it back to 'nothing', even if for only 10seconds, then 20seconds - just as you'd first hold a stretch or lift lighter weights before moving to heavier ones.
Before you know it you'll be able to control your thoughts much more easily than before.

I find this nhs app helps www.nhs.uk/apps-library/feeling-good-positive-mindset/
I often play a track in bed and fall asleep before it is finished.

I did finally get to sleep at about 6.30. Luckily she’s just woken up.

I used to be like this occasionally and when I was, sleep rarely came before the early hours of the morning. I then noticed the frequency increase so that this was happening once a week(ish).

I downloaded the Calm app and now spend 10 mins in bed, listening to a medetation session and just keeping my mid on my breathing. When it tries to wander (and it does), I gently bring it back.

Afterwards I play something soothing, such as the music or sleep stories.

I have genuinely found, over time and practice, that this has made a massive difference. Last night I could feel the old intrusive thoughts really try to come back. In the past, that would have been the start of a bad night. I made myself do the ten minutes and then settle to some music. I was asleep within about another ten minutes.

It has really helpd me reset a better sleep habit.