To expect interest from my DH

[Lotty32]

In my sisters flooded house? She does have a history of over exaggerating - but is talking about having to move out due to electrics And water etc. If role reversal I would have offered to help, shown emotions support etc - but I think I know the answer to my own question - Men are from Mars and we are not!!
Think I just need a mini rant!

Men are not from mars.

Does she need his help? If she needs to move I’m sure she’ll ask if she needs extra hangs. Otherwise what do you want him to say or do?

To at least listen and not shut me down!

I think you answered your own question, your sister has a history of exaggerating. Perhaps your husband is sick of it.

@Lotty32

To at least listen and not shut me down!

Listen to what, though?

"Sharon's house is flooded, she might have to move out"
"That's a shame, hope she gets it sorted"

That's about the extent of the conversation that we'd have in my house.

I wouldn't expect DH to be offering emotional support, no.
Maybe practical if he knew a plumber in her area could pass the number on.
If DH told me his sister's house flooded I might send a message in the family group saying hope you're all sorted soon.
Not sure what else would be expected and I don't think DH would want anything further.

@Lotty32

To at least listen and not shut me down!

If he never listens and usually shuts you down it's a different problem but if it's on this one issue it seems not a problem.

Do they get on? In all honesty if my brother in laws house was flooded I would find it hard to be overly interested in providing any practical support, e.g. cleaning, because he wouldn’t do it for me. On the other hand I wouldn’t completely dismiss my other half if he wanted to talk about it.

If a relative/friend actually asked for help we would help - otherwise what is there to say?

If we need help we ask otherwise I am not what there is for others to discuss about us?

Uhhh...what exactly is je suppose to do?

Hit post too soon. What do you mean in a role reversal you would offer to help out? Have you not offered to help your sister out?

Is he maybe thinking you're working your way up to suggesting she moves in with you and DH and he doesn't particularly like her/get on with her so he's wanting to shut the conversation down before it gets any further?

Or,
Are you trying to talk about this when he's engrossed in something else that needs his attention - like a work report, or an episode of line of duty?

Or,
Is he just a waste of space?

I would expect (and get) passing interest from DH but needing emotional support? That's probably going a bit far?

Why on earth do you need emotional support?

If my SIL's house flooded I'd just hope they were okay and I might offer to look after the dog.

Does he usually shut down and not want to talk to you?

How far does his lack of interest go? Is it that your sister may need somewhere to stay and he couldn’t give a monkey’s? Or are you providing him with a daily update on The Saga of the Flood and he’s bored with it now? If it’s the latter, I think I’m with him.

Where does ‘emotional support’ come in? For your sister, or for you?

In all honesty, if my DH told me that his brother’s house was flooded I probably wouldn’t be that interested. I’d feel sorry for him but that’s about it.

I cannot imagine more than a fleeting interest if DH told me his brothers house was flooded. I would maybe say “oh dear, hope they are covered”.

Thinking about it, if we were flooded, I don’t think I would ring found relatives to tell them, although I would probably mention it next time I see them. I wouldn’t need emotional support.

Don’t really understand what your DH is expected to do. YABU.

I'm surprised at the lack of support for op on here. A work colleague had her house flooded in regional floods. A year later she still isn't back home, had to rent a house (trying to stay commutable to her children's schools) loads of hassle with insurance etc. It would warrant more than a cursory response if it happened to a family member. Possibly even a bed for the night while the insurance was sorted.

We don’t know that he wouldn’t agree to her staying the night if she needed to. He hasn’t offered but it might not be appropriate.

OP, if the communication in your marriage is an issue, then try to tackle it. Do so without saying ridiculously sweeping statements like men are from Mars

On this one though it’s not clear what you expect him to do that he hasn’t done. People have covered the range of normal responses. “Oh dear, hope the insurance covers it” etc. I’m very close to my siblings and DH loves them dearly. If I said one of their houses had flooded he’d say “shit, that sucks, hope they’re okay”. They’re all capable adults not prone to drama. We’d both be available if they asked for and needed help.

What was he shutting down? You letting him know or an emotional outburst about how traumatising Sharon is finding it and handwringing about how she’ll possibly cope?

is talking about having to move out due to electrics And water etc

If she really HAD to vacate the premises due to the water and electrics, she wouldn't be fannying about, saying 'Ooh, I might have to move out...', she'd have no choice but to pack up and get out. I suspect she is angling for an invite to stay. DH's lack of interest may be due to the fact he knows she's over-embellishing things or perhaps he does not want to be roped into carrying out repairs.