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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think is it worth it

14 replies

Whitepriv · 27/08/2020 19:15

To give some context, I’m 33 in a Director position at a fairly large company with a very good salary. I’m very grateful for the opportunities my career has afforded me and I have worked extremely hard to get where I am today.

However, since lockdown, I’ve started to wonder if it’s all worth it. I’m so tired and can’t ever really relax from work. Always in the back of my mind is this latent stress from my job.

I’ve been considering taking a big step back career wise and doing something less stressful. Is it madness to think like this?

OP posts:
nc600 · 27/08/2020 19:17

Hmm - I'd say so at this stage. At 33 you've not got that many working years behind you. I'm assuming you can save and are well on your way to owning your home, if not there already?

I'd save hard and aim to be semi retired in my early 40s instead

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 27/08/2020 19:20

YANBU. Life is too short to spend it stressed out if you don't have to. If you've enjoyed roles on the way up that didn't stress you out, then go for one of them.

Curiosity101 · 27/08/2020 19:20

I guess it depends what you want out of life? What are your big long term goals?

WhatamessIgotinto · 27/08/2020 19:24

It depends what you want out of life really doesn't it? If you want the trappings that your current job gives you then you'll probably need to stick it out or at least find something else with a similar salary, which possibly means similar stress.

If you don't then there are many more options available to you. I really does depend what you really want.

Lazysundayafternoons · 27/08/2020 19:29

I'm the same at 30. Just finding it all so stressful, if I take any time away from work I dread what I will have missed/what emails will be waiting for me when I log on the next day.
Were building a house and I think I will evaluate after that. It a choice between sticking where I am and being able to buy and do anything I want in life, or having a less stressful job but less money aswell.
I'm wondering if you get used to the stress as the years go on, does it feel easier

makingbacon · 27/08/2020 19:31

If you have financial stability/savings in the bank, then make the leap!

You can always go back to what you're doing. Ok, maybe not at Director level but it won't take you long to get back there if it all goes tits up when you tried something else.

latticechaos · 27/08/2020 19:36

I think you can't put too high a value on happiness, tbh. I wouldn't make a totally reckless decision, financially, but I personally couldn't stay doing something just for money.

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 27/08/2020 19:36

Is the role stopping you from doing anything you would want to be doing in your 30s? Like starting a family, spending more time with family, working on a relationship, travelling?

If it's not stopping you from living your life then I'd probably try to keep going for now as this is as much energy as you're likely to have. Pay off a mortgage if you have one, put as much money as possible into a pension / investments etc. Then aim to slow down around 40.

If it's stopping you from doing something else that would be important to you and you think you'll get to 40 and regret not doing then I'd definitely say life over job.

user1493413286 · 27/08/2020 19:36

I thinks it’s a hard balance as while I’d like a less stressful job I also know that I’d be bored in a slower paced job; when I have less work on I am bored and I get less done as the deadlines fuel me. I’d prefer if it wasn’t quite as stressful and as much work as I have but I don’t see many people in jobs that have both things I want. I’m also very much trapped into a certain level of income now though with a house and kids (and a DH who wants this lifestyle we’ve worked for) I don’t see how I could do a job on a lower salary.

SmellsLikeFeet · 27/08/2020 19:38

No, I don't think you are. A lot of people are revaluating what they want from life at the moment

user1493413286 · 27/08/2020 19:38

To add I work in an area with high burnout and I put a lot of work into coping strategies around leaving work at work and managing the stress of it. It’s not always 100% effective but it has helped me.

WhyIsItSoHardToPickAUsername · 27/08/2020 19:38

I should have added try to make the rest of your life as stress free as possible. Pay for any kind of help that you can. Eat well, exercise, do yoga and carve out time (each month or week if possible) to do an activity you find relaxing and enjoyable.

Jadeeeeee · 27/08/2020 21:25

Been in a similar position to you.

You need to take a step back from the whole work aspect think about what kind of life you want as a whole. I have seen many people work harder and longer striving to progress up the career 'ladder' for monetary reasons. Thinking that more ££ = nicer possessions = happier. From my own personal experience it doesnt work like that and you end up in the endless rat race in a quest for more.

Think about what will make you happy. Because really thats whats important. For me it is now primarily quality time with friends and family and an absence of stress. I do a mundane 9-5 job and as soon as I am out of the door I forget about it. It pays the bills and have a nice amount spare but i am never going to be driving around in a Porsche.

I used to be live to work and now I am work to live. I am not as wealthy in the monetary sense but I have never been happier.

PercyKirke · 27/08/2020 22:05

The MD of a firm I worked for did this. Just quit out of the blue. Was last heard of running a small business (can't say what too outing) in the Home Counties and from the FB page seemingly 10 years younger. Go for it.

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