To look into whether my ex should pay more for DS

[starlet14]

Hi all, I have a son aged 10 with my ex. We split when I was pregnant. Never had him for more than a few hours a week so that doesn't come into it. He doesn't have to feed him, clothe him etc.

So.. my ex has paid me the same amount since he was tiny (£30 a week). He wasn't earning much back then and this was the calculation of how much he should pay. For a few months when he was a baby he would pay me on his own accord. But it was a bit hit and miss so I ended up contact the csa. He was always terrible with money. So yeah he's always our me £30 a week. He wasn't earning much.

So fast forward a few years. Our claim was going over to the new child maintenance system. My ex wanted to do our own arrangement to avoid the fees. I thought I'd give it a try seeing as a few years have passed and my ex might be a bit more sensible with money 🤣

Had our own arrangement for a few years still
paying £30 a week.. I am grateful for this. I know some parents don't get anything for their children.

But my ex is quite a 'show off'. saying he's got a better well paid job, a promotion. Brags about the 3 holidays he has a year with his girlfriend. He is clearly earning a lot more than 10 years ago. He is a very boastful person.

Quite convenient he gets a new job after our csa claim finished ^^

Anyway, he lives locally. I was browsing local job pages and a very similar job to his in the same place he works (there's a few of them doing the same job) came up and it listed the salary. I don't know his exact salary obviously but I decided to put the one I seen into the gov.uk child maintenance calculator and based on that wage he should be paying £30 extra a week so £60!!!

Aibu to expect a bit more if he's earning more? With the ever increasing cost of school uniform. It's literally just maintenance he gives DS. Doesn't have to provide for him in any other way. Me and my oh do it all. Even just £40 instead of £30!

Or am I being entitled?

Put*

Just allowing for inflation means he should be now paying nearer £40.
Aside from which teenagers cost more to feed, his clothing will soon be adult and attract VAT etc, plus secondary sports clubs etc are a lot more expensive.

Put the claim in, he should be ashamed of himself for not increasing it

I think you should probably be getting double that.
I think I received somewhere in the region of £425 for my two children. Ex was a high earner but as he owned his own Ltd company only declared the minimum income. I asked for his dividends to be taken in to account also because of this.

I get naff all from my feckless idiot ex and I don’t think you’re being entitled at all! I wouldn’t bother telling him I’d just go ahead with the claim, it’s your sons money after all he has a right to it and his dad has an obligation to provide adequate and accurate financial support to him.

Be careful what you wish for he may quit his job and work cash in hand

He is paying 4.27 a day.
Go to CSA.

Go straight to the CMS. If he already makes your life difficult you have nothing to lose. What’s he going to do? See his son less?

If you know how much he earns go on to gov.uk and use the calculator to work it out. That's what my ex and I did

Even £60 per week isn’t that much considering he’s the big man on the big bucks now, and doesn’t have any overnights with DS.
Is he “grateful” for the money you and your OH spend bringing up his son? If not, I fail to see why you should feel grateful for his pissy little £30 per week.
Make the dick pay. He owes your child, not you.

Thank you everyone for your input.

I didn't want to be perceived in a bad way by my ex. I have a close friend who's hubby pays for his eldest son with ex partner. My friend is always saying things like 'oh she's after more money again 'never happy' 'always wants more'. don't want to perceived in the same way as I've never asked for an extra penny than what he pays in maintenance!

It's seems like I'm not being unreasonable at all though! I will definitely look into it. 😀😀

I don't know how much he earns exactly but looking at the same job role in the same business on a job site the salary is very interesting! I don't think he's a very high earner now but certainly higher than what he was 10 years ago!!

This is where the cms is useful. It's not about you wanting more, simply accessing the gov mandated minimum amount. It depersonalises the whole thing.

My ex tried the same when our case transferred to CMS from CSA. Turns our he'd had a £6k payrise that wasn't significant enough to trigger a review under the old system, but is now reviewed every year.

If he kicks off tell him that you need it formalising to prove your income (I actually did, as part of a mortgage application/review, do you have anything like this coming up), but you really shouldn't have to worry about claiming the legal minimum contribution for your child.

Call them today OP!

Be careful what you wish for he may quit his job and work cash in hand

Yeah, mine threatened that too. Fortunately there are many many jobs that can't be done cash in hand, or blokes that would see their own income slashed just to begrudge paying a few quid more for their child.