To ask what it's like to have sex with someone you really fancy and feel a connection with

[Olivia0592]

I never have. In any relationship I've been in, I've always "settled". The men that I fancy don't seem to fancy me back. Now I'm nearly 29 with 2 DC and I wonder if it will ever happen. :(

@BubblyBarbara Marriage is also more than moral vows.

It's a legal documentation.

Mmm ... it’s like a thunderbolt hitting a fireworks factory.

He and I used to say to each other that we didn’t understand why people bothered with drugs as how could anything be better than what we had. It felt like being drugged (I assume), electric and floaty and ... we would lose track of time for hours and ... I miss that (it didn’t work out for other reasons).

I like the honesty of such a connection, being able to tell your partner your desires and fantasies knowing you will not be denied/ judged and vice versa.

@shartsi - thank goodness for your response! I always struggle with this question of love and chemistry. Sex with my DH is not the best sex I have ever had (holiday fling was that although he gave me my first ever orgasm so I may be biased!). Me and DH don't create shooting stars or fireworks or anything else. But it is the most honest and free sexual relationship I've ever had and that makes me feel very close to him.

I’ve only ever once been with a man I really really wanted and who wanted me back. And it was amazing. We didn’t work out for other reasons. But the sex was incredible.

I don’t have that with my DH. I love him a lot and we had great sex in the beginning. But it was never really Earth-shattering. And it certainly isn’t now, it’s a chore for me now if I’m honest.

I had a crush on a man who I just knew I’d have amazing sex with. Never did it but knew it would have been incredible. Still fantasise about him.

Never settle. I did for ten years. Thought it was forever was totally OK with that.

Gave up sex, my chance to have children, that he'd ever work, stopped doing anything I enjoyed cause it made him angry. Beat the fuck out of me, killed my dog, cheated. Tried to be perfect to make it work. I was depressed and he was violent.

Our 'vows' meant nothing because only one of us upheld them. He left me in the end but I should have.

Sex is important to me, as is love, family, work ethic, joy, safety and respect.

I will marry my new partner. These are the things we promise to each other.

Marriage is a serious contract. But if one party breaks every covenant. The contract is broken, simple as. Vows mean nothing without actions.

Ive had mindblowing sex with someone I had no connection with at all. Ive never felt as if I've connected someone..would love to have both. I don't think I'll ever have anyone who gets me that way but in every other aspect we just wouldn't have worked.

It’s amazing. Sometimes so much it makes me cry.

After my ex who I loved but no sex. I got firework sex but no love. Was determined to have both. Now increadibly in love with a good man, respectful, kind, loving, ethical and smart, sweet to my mother and loves animals. 50 orgasms a night! But happy just for snuggles too. We're getting married, planning baby, travelling togeather.... I am tipsy so super gushy but my god I wish I could have told my past self to aim higher. Bless you all and hope you find your someone xx

@BubblyBarbara

Remember that the grass is always greener. If you’ve made vows you should see them through. I did until my DH passed away.

Is it your mission to give as much shit advice as possible on this site or do you just enjoy being a contrary twat?

I’ve had a LOT of sexual partners. But only one, my most recent ex, who I had the connection you talk about. And it was amazing, we both said we could see each other’s souls and I’ve never experienced that before, when we were physically close I’d literally feel like I was melting, and sex was so intense.

We were only together a few months and I’m so sad that the reality is I’m unlikely to find that again, seeing as it was nearly 40 years and a hell of a lot of men before I found it once. I’ve tried having sex with other people since him but it just seems so shit and pointless that I can’t really be bothered anymore.

It’s amazing. There is always one that stands out for me, I honestly never got over him, probably be 85 and still get a flutter over him.

Honestly life is too short for bad sex.

Like someone said above it’s like a chore now, I miss those days of excitement, nothing like that feeling of someone actually wanting you not a bang bang roll over and sleep, fucking waste of time.

I've had one person I've had that with and it really was mind blowing, we both just felt something we hadn't before and I wonder if I'll ever get that again with someone else.