AIBU to need a break from my lovely teenaged DC

[Longlockdown]

Four years ago, in mediation, a list was drawn up saying EOW, 1 week Xmas, 1 week Easter and 2 weeks Summer.
Ex decided in January it would only be EOW, and it has been this; throughout 150+ days of lockdown, he's seen them for 20 days, nothing extra.
DC feel he no longer wants them, and don't understand why. When they ask, he says, "I have no plans, I've not agreed anything different". Total BS, but there you go. He still lives alone in exMH half mile away, we moved out (extreme EA, raging temper, alcohol incidents etc, all aimed at me).
Is there any way to insist he keeps to the agreement? A week without them, so my DP and I could have a mini hol would be amazing.

Of course yanbu to want a break, and how distressing for dc to feel unwanted by their father.

I have teen dc and ex does very occasional overnights and sees dc, but won't commit to regular days. So I can truly understand the need for a break. Sadly, there is no way to enforce it. Would your ex be open to a chat about this, or are there family who could help out?

Sadly there's no way to enforce it. My ex went to the palaver of going to court for EOW, one night midweek, half holidays, alternate Christmases, alternate birthdays, his birthday and Father's Day. Basically used it as a tool to mean we had to stay at home on "his" days in case he came. It took 4 years of non-complience before the courts would change the order. They said there is nothing they can do to insist he sticks to it.

Do you have any other family who can help out?

Thank you for your replies - I was just wondering if there was a way to insist he kept to the agreement.
Soon they will choose not to go. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he doesn't want to see them or be proud of them, they're pretty good kids.

The thing to remember is that it's his loss. They will realise that he has chosen to be a lazy father.

The other thing is that, although it's hard for you to have no break, would you really want them to go somewhere that they're not really wanted?

How old are they? If they're all teens are they old enough to leave for a night or two for you to have a break?

I'm going to ask the GPs to have them for a couple of nights at Oct half term, it'll be okay.
No, mid teens so not old enough for overnights quite yet.
Oh well, onwards and upwards. Am just fighting the feeling that as their mother I should want to be with them.
I do, but I'd also like a break for me! And he's down the road!

Surely mid-teens are ok to stay alone overnight? They could have their own children at that age.

As for your ex - I wouldn't bother trying to get him to do anything, especially since they feel unwanted by him

I am the same OP. Exh has seen DS for about an hour on four separate occasions as he is allegedly protecting his father. Yet from the start he and his girlfriend have been going away to stay with various people for weekends.

Yet in gcse results day he popped up like the perfect father with £100 for DS.

@Pieceofpurplesky it's so annoying, isn't it!

@Pieceofpurplesky don't worry, they'll still know what he's like. My father often pops to see me with cash. He earns much more than me or my husband. He says it's for DS. I still know he's a crap dad but the money comes in handy. He

Oh he know exactly what his dad is like! I would just have liked a bit of a break - an overnight free. Ds is a good lad and not a problem but had been bored. And that all falls on me.