13.5hrs NC

[Lollypop4]

My DH owns his own buisness.
He works long hours often between 13-16hrs 6-7days a week, depending on seasons.
He has always sent a message or called a few times in the day just to check in on how our day is and I too will send a few messages the same.
(im a SAHM to just add)
Today, I had'nt heard from him in 13.5hrs, He hadnt recieved my messages( I had sent 2), no problem as such , I knew he would likely be fine & someobe wouldve contacted me ( I hope) had their been an issue.
I called his work.
He was a bit off that I had called.
Home an hr later.
Bit of a debate that" I should'nt have called, I should've know it was just a busy day & no one elses partners would do tge same".

I was just checking all was ok.

was I being unreasobable to contact?

Apologies for the typos!

I don’t think it was I reasonable and would probably have done the same.

I'm not someone that is constantly in contact with my partner (until lock down and now we're constantly under each other feet), but 13+ hours without a message when I usually would hear from him would probably prompt me to try and give him a quick call.
And if "no one else's partners would do the same" means he frowns on his employees being in touch with their partners while they work such long days then he doesnt sound like a great boss

If you normally send messages to each other then YANBU. DH and I probably wouldn’t bother.

However, he does have to recognise that by working such long hours he is being distanced from the family by his job (perhaps unavoidably) so keeping in touch is a good thing.

I know he is totally fine with employees contacting and being contcted if need too (or on breaks)
I know he just said his "employees would'nt " just to make out that there really was no need for me to contact and I was in the wrong.

At first I voted YABU, as I think it should be fine to go a full work day without contacting your DH. But then I thought about it, and he’s working essentially all the hours a person is awake (up to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week), so yes, I would expect to hear from my SO during the work day in that situation, unless this was some sort of short term very busy season. So I’ve now changed my vote to YANBU. He must almost never see the children, unless they’re very nocturnal teenagers?

Its a hospitality buisness, he sees the kids Am for an hr and sometimes in the week, when only doing maybe 12-13 hrs, an hr before bed but usually ft in the day to say hi to them for about 20mins.
The last 4 weeks have been crazy busy and from sept it will be more 8-10hr shift really through winter.

YABU. It's 13 hours and he's in the hospitality business. Eat out to help out, school holidays, busy with staycation tourists etc.

What were you ringing him for? Just to tell him he'd obviously been too busy to text you?

You're not kids let him do his day get on with yours chat at home

just to make out that there really was no need for me to contact and I was in the wrong.

Is this part of a deeper complaint? Do you feel he's always trying to put you in the wrong?

Given it’s his business and, I assume, he’s only just getting back out of lockdown I would have left him to it. If I could see the messages hadn’t been read I’d think he was too busy to be in contact. It’s a short term thing after presumably months at home - his focus will need to be on rebuilding the business for a little while.

I’m thinking he was trying to say his staff know they’re at work to work. If you don’t need him for something that can’t wait, leave him to his work.

He could have sent a quick text on his break saying its crazy busy talk later

It looks like he didn’t even have time to read his messages, much less send one. In saying that, I’m not in constant contact with my DH it wouldn’t occur to me to contact him at work unless I needed something, we’re both at work and busy.