We never fight

[Pinkbloc]

Ive been with someone over a year... weve only ever had 1 bust up over something very stupid that he did. Other than that, we dont everrrrr argue. Dont get me wrong there are things that annoy the hell out of me. Like him always sending me memes about hot girls etc and always making jokes that he would prefer a blonde. Should i stop being dumb and pull him up on it?

I guess im worried hes going to go down the whole "i thought you were cool not psycho" route.

Also we had a date night the other day for the first time in ages as both have kids. He was soooooo grumpy and had such bad road rage, that i was honestly on eggshells in the car. When we got to the restaurant it was cool, maybe he was hangry? Lol.

But to be honest im just feeling a bit, meh, like im not being my true self by not pulling him up on things and he doesnt make me feel great about myself like doesnt compliment me etc

What do you all think? Haha x

Well, you dont fight because he behaves in ways that you feel uncomfortable with but you dont ever pull him up on it.

So either yiu put up with no fighting but you dont get what you need. Or you see if when you challenge him he reacts appropriately- listens, explains and, if necessary, changes.

You don’t fight because you adapt to his behaviour all the time.
You appease him, lots of us do, we are taught men are better and therefore are right.

Yeah, nah. He's not the one.

Move on. . .

You don’t fight because you seem afraid to challenge him. You’re walking on eggshells.
Maybe he was hangry?! Is he 5?!

You don’t fight because you take his shit smile and say thanks.

The question is why? Seems a bit desperate to me.

He sends you memes about other women, has you walking on eggshells and you feel you can't say anything to him because he might accuse you of being psychotic if you do?

Wow. Find your self esteem

It's not normal to not fight. It's not normal for your partner to send you pictures of 'hot girls'. It's not normal for your partner to not compliment you.

Find a bit of self-worth, set your sights higher and move one.

*on

There’s a difference between not fighting because you agree on most things and are respectful of each other, and not fighting because you’re constantly biting your tongue when he does upsetting things. The latter isn’t healthy; it he is upsetting you with his behaviour, you should be able to raise it with him without fearing his reaction.

You are wasting your time on this twat. Raise your standards.

we are taught men are better and therefore are right @Freddiefox I think I was off the day they taught that at the Sexist Academy for Unenlightened Egg Carriers can I steal your homework??

What was the stupid thing he did?

Part of a lot of stupid things he does. Dump and ruuuuuuun!

@Pinkbloc if you feel you can’t be yourself and challenge behaviour that makes you uncomfortable then there is something wrong.

Are you scared of being alone so don’t “pick fights” in case he leaves? Do you not think you can “do better” than him? Not trying to be hurtful just wondered if you are dealing with self esteem issues

Me and my husband don’t fight, we’ve been together for 8 years and have only had words once BUT i do pull him up on the annoying things as does he with me. I think we are very different people, I’m very highly strung and he’s horizontal, I feel he keeps me grounded.

I don’t think walking on egg shells and feeling like you can’t say anything is good. If it were me I would start pulling him up and see how he reacts, then you can see how you really feel.

PS my husband rarely compliments me either, he’s just not that kind of a person but the odd time he does I know he really means it so it means so much more

Everybody I know who said that about their marriage is now divorced.

@MrsOldma

we are taught men are better and therefore are right *@Freddiefox* I think I was off the day they taught that at the Sexist Academy for Unenlightened Egg Carriers can I steal your homework??

@ @MrsOldma I don’t really understand, you don’t think women are taught that men are right and women are wrong? Or you think that’s what I as saying, if so you only quote part of my text.

@Freddiefox maybe you were taught that but I’ve been brought up in the real world

@tangycalligrapher but surely those people just cba to fight because they’re not in love. The OP wants to fight but is scared to

My husband and I don’t fight but we disagree, pull each other up if needed and talk about stuff.

You shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself.

He sounds douchey in any case.

You don't argue because you're being a push over. If you can't pill him up on petty shit how are you ever going to address big issues in your relationship? Also if you're getting the feeling pulling him up on his shit would get the reaction 'I thought you were cool' that's prett misogynistic. So no he's not the one
Get rid.

Also there is a difference between arguing and disagreement. I'd say in a healthy relationship you need to be able to do both but probably not argue regularly. You certainly shouldn't feel you can't argue or disagree which soulds like what you are saying.

[quote MrsOldma]@Freddiefox maybe you were taught that but I’ve been brought up in the real world[/quote]
I was brought up in the real world too, and very much taught to defer to men and not question whether they were right or wrong, equating to not arguing with them.

It's not that you don't fight, it's that you don't say when something makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. So it's an unhealthy, fake relationship. Why do you want to be with someone who does things than make you sad? It isn't like that in good relationships, it really isn't.

@Freddiefox then you have my sincere sympathy. I hope your world view is different now

Sorry but he does sound pretty immature & unpleasant.