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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To inform parents of their child's behaviour.

11 replies

starlet14 · 26/08/2020 18:57

I live in a place where there's loads of children out playing. It's a really safe area so it's great for them to be out in the fresh air.

This evening I took dc for a walk and ended up in a little park nearby. There's always loads of kids in there who live right by the park.

There were children in there who annoyed me. I do know who they are who their mum is.

Firstly they were being really rough around Dd who's little. I am happy to let this slide. She is used to boisterous boys and it doesn't phase. But one of the children was stood above Dd (climbing on frames) and said he was going to kick her and put his foot out. He didn't kick her she's okay.

They were then climbing up the slide when Dd was coming down. I know kids do this but Dd has a mild physical disability (one of the children would know this as in the same class).

The very worst part is that they were sat on the top of a climbing frame spitting onto the ground. This was the worst part. The spit was landing near other children. They (siblings I presume) we're doing it in turn about 10 times thinking it was funny.

I was the only adult there.

I don't like to tell another child not to do something as don't want them running to their mum saying I had.

I mean spitting is a vile habit at the best of times let alone due to covid. We left after this.

Aibu to approach the parents? This isn't me at all. I have never had to do anything like this before. Tbh we don't spend a lot of time in the village and tend to drive out as it's very cliquey around here. Most kids around here are great it seems. It just seems the few who ruin it.

as a parent would you want to know if your children are spitting all over the park on purpose and thinks it's funny?

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 26/08/2020 19:06

Personally I would want to know

Waveysnail · 26/08/2020 19:09

Did you say something to the kids?

purpleme12 · 26/08/2020 19:10

Well I would have said something there and then personally. If no parent was there telling them and it's affecting other children I've said things before to children in playgrounds.

SquirtleSquad · 26/08/2020 19:10

It depends maybe on what the parents are like. We went camping last week and a child kicked my son square in the chest (I was stood right with him he literally just came up to him and booted him) and I told the boys off - he told me to fuck off. I found out which were his parents and told them what had happened and they also told me to fuck off or I'd have trouble Hmm

The same boy (maybe 8/9) was then smoking in the park that evening and shouting cunt this, fuck that.. around loads of very young kids and causing a right nuisance.

DH told me to leave it, I think he was worried they might set our tent on fire Grin

I think as you live there and it's local and there's a link with the school then it's probably best to politely let them know.

RandomTree · 26/08/2020 19:12

I would have said something to the children at the time. I'm not sure that approaching the parents after the event will have much impact. They'll probably just deny that they did anything wrong.

Bunnybigears · 26/08/2020 19:13

I would want to know but I would also wonder why you are telling me after the event and not saying something to the children at the time.

LilaButterfly · 26/08/2020 19:18

Honestly, i would prefer it of you told off my kids right there and then. Sure, if you tell me i would have a talk with them about it, but its usually more effective right when it happens.
Everyone is different though and i know some parents dont like it when strangers scold their kids, so i understand your reservations.

starlet14 · 26/08/2020 19:20

Thank you. I don't feel comfortable telling other people's children off. Never been able to do it. We just left instead!

I wouldn't have a major problem with anyone telling mine if if they were doing something wrong. But I remember my mum flipping when another parent told my brother off once. It ended up in a huge row between my mum and the other mum. Cringe!

I do know the mum. She is my friend on fb but I don't know her well. I may just leave it but spitting is vile! 🤮 there was some other boys there who were looking in disgust!

OP posts:
LuluJo1020 · 26/08/2020 19:30

I don't agree with telling other people's kids off UNLESS it's a safety issue which I think this was (threatening violence and even the spitting). If it was my kid I'd be more than happy for you to say something there and then and I'd also want you to tell me because I'd certainly be dishing out an appropriate punishment. The least of which would be no going to the park unsupervised. If he can't behave in public then he'll just have to be followed around by his mummy reminding him how to behave (he's 11, this would mortify him beyond belief!)

purpleme12 · 26/08/2020 19:39

One older girl in the playground once pushed my girl's soft toy bunny off where the bunny was on purpose just to be mean. No other reason.

I will always tell other children if they're doing something unacceptable that's affecting other children. If there adult is there doing something that's different but there's been a fair few times that's not the case

Monkeynuts18 · 26/08/2020 19:47

I would be perfectly happy for you to tell my child off in that situation.

I would also absolutely want to know if he had been violent or spitting. I might be wrong but I think most decent parents would be appalled by that and would want to take action.

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