To want to hand my notice in rather than return to work after furlough

[sananbaz]

I'm on furlough still and have just been told to return to work next week. I don't want to go back. During furlough I've lost a parent (possibly covid - in care home with pneumonia) and a dear friend (with covid, no pre existing conditions). I am not coping well with the thought of going back to work as I am high risk (as is my husband) and social distancing is impossible. My children are starting back at school soon, which is scary too. I'm contemplating handing my notice in, but there seems to be no guidance on whether I would have to physically work my notice if I did. I told work early on I would volunteer for redundancy but they are not offering it to me (others have been made redundant when they didn't want to be), so it's not like they don't know how scared I am to return. I have some holiday, but not enough to get me through my notice period.
I know I'm being unreasonable in many respects, but I've seen too much grief to cope with any more just yet. Already on antidepressants and just about coping, but the increased risk of exposure at work would stress me too much. Would I be unreasonable to resign, and possibly be asked to work my notice, or would I be more unreasonable to use holiday and ask for unpaid leave, when I may never want to return?

If your stressed / anxious can you self cert as sick for 5 days and then get signed off for the rest of your notice period?

Work out your notice period and ask your GP to sign you off with stress. You have more than enough to justify it.

Well aren’t you a delight @RoomOfRequirement

OP, resign and speak to your GP, I’m sure they will help.

@RoomOfRequirement

So the taxpayer paid you 80% of your wages for several months for doing nothing all to stop people becoming unemployed and yet that's exactly what you wanted?

Why didn't you hand your notice in earlier? Because you were enjoying the free money? Nice.

Oh piss off. I think OP would much rather have her parent and her friend STILL ALIVE.

Christ, its not like she's been "doing nothing". I imagine the very physical process of grieving takes up all her energy.

@sananbaz ignore... definitely go to your GP (they should do a phone appointment) and explain all this. Decide then if you want to resign.

Ask GP to sign you off with stress for the duration of your notice period.

Talk to your employer about reasonable adjustments. And ignore shitty comments from people like @RoomOfRequirement

I don't think any of us could have anticipated the impact of things since March. And there is a fair amount of uncertainty to come, isn't there with schools going back (or not)...(or opening and then shutting due to local spikes).

I would say well done you for recognising your boundaries on mental health and acting accordingly. There is no point pushing yourself beyond your limits and having a breakdown, now is there?

You would be of no use to anybody then. Do take care and all the best.

I would rather my parent still be alive too but instead I was working so much for a lot less than the 80% limit many people were getting at home that I managed to take 2 whole days off before going BACK to my job in the NHS back in the days of no PPE.

But no if you don't want to work you go right ahead and ignore the entire point of furlough to begin with.

Just hand in your notice and say you would rather not work your notice. It might actually suit them. They can then recruit and considering the number of unemployed people, they might get someone able to start asap.

Are there any rules regarding paying back of furlough if you don’t go back? I had assumed it was a bit like mat pay in that it was only payable if you returned. (Disclaimer- I have been working my socks off because 75% of my colleagues were laid off as we weren’t eligible for furlough, so I’m not familiar with furlough pay.)
It’s brutal for everyone. Just resign and tell them you can’t work your notice. In this day and age it’s best to be absolutely up front. And tell them now, because they can sort out a replacement. If you know you aren’t going back, just get it done instead of bothering with self cert and signing off, which ties their hands when you know the outcome is going to be the same and you are just delaying it. (Although I guess they would then have to pay you for your notice, while you are off sick, which might be what you want.)
I get it. But be up front what your intentions are. I imagine lots of people will decide not to go back. Round here no one wants to work, and our hotels can’t get staff. The General Managers are stripping beds because no one wants their job back. (For lots of reasons).
Employment has become a very low priority - it’s not necessarily a bad thing but it’s going to have repercussions.
Do you think you would actually feel better if you were able to go back? It might reduce your fears and anxiety and help your mental health?

@RoomOfRequirement

I would rather my parent still be alive too but instead I was working so much for a lot less than the 80% limit many people were getting at home that I managed to take 2 whole days off before going BACK to my job in the NHS back in the days of no PPE.

But no if you don't want to work you go right ahead and ignore the entire point of furlough to begin with.

I'm sorry you've also lost a parent, it really is the worst time to be grieving. My dad died at the start of lock down in March, my friend then died in June and to be honest it felt like being run over by a freight train. I said after my dad died that I didn't want to return to work, but my boss kept saying it was too early to make rash decisions. I said the same after my friend died, and my boss said they didn't want to lose me, and I didn't want to let people down. I'm in a profession that is on the government shortage occupation list, meaning they are unlikely to recruit a replacement quickly, which is probably why they have been trying to prevent my resignation so far. I hope you get some time to grieve properly soon.

Thank you to everyone else that have replied, I feel a bit more confident in my decision I think.

It's quite obvious that ror has no idea how harshly death can affect people. Fuck that.

Resign. I would in such a case. As it is... I went part time not long after my mom died (although there were other factors including a new baby)... We do what we need to. Life's too short 🤷

@nachthexe

Are there any rules regarding paying back of furlough if you don’t go back? I had assumed it was a bit like mat pay in that it was only payable if you returned. (Disclaimer- I have been working my socks off because 75% of my colleagues were laid off as we weren’t eligible for furlough, so I’m not familiar with furlough pay.) It’s brutal for everyone. Just resign and tell them you can’t work your notice. In this day and age it’s best to be absolutely up front. And tell them now, because they can sort out a replacement. If you know you aren’t going back, just get it done instead of bothering with self cert and signing off, which ties their hands when you know the outcome is going to be the same and you are just delaying it. (Although I guess they would then have to pay you for your notice, while you are off sick, which might be what you want.) I get it. But be up front what your intentions are. I imagine lots of people will decide not to go back. Round here no one wants to work, and our hotels can’t get staff. The General Managers are stripping beds because no one wants their job back. (For lots of reasons). Employment has become a very low priority - it’s not necessarily a bad thing but it’s going to have repercussions. Do you think you would actually feel better if you were able to go back? It might reduce your fears and anxiety and help your mental health?

No, I don't think there is a requirement to pay back the furlough. You're right about not messing them about, but I have said throughout that I don't think I can come back and they have said don't worry, take your time, give yourself space to deal with things and hopefully things will change. But things haven't changed enough and furlough time is up. I really do want to work and love my job, but I don't think my mental health will stand the test though.