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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU not to do school work over the holidays?

69 replies

Franklyfrost · 26/08/2020 13:43

Dd’s friend (7) mentioned that her and her brother (10) do a couple of hours school work every day over the holidays. Is this normal?

YABU- your poor children’s brains will be all dusty by the start of term: school work in the holidays is normal
YANBU- only freaky overachievers get their kids to work in holiday time: get back to doing nothing

OP posts:

SantaClaritaDiet · 26/08/2020 15:06

Why do you do in your holidays, besides work, if not doing those kind of activities?

I am not home on holiday! That's the whole point of holidays. Being stuck at home is the opposite of a holiday for us, this year even more.
Reading, meals out etc.. that's what you have the rest of the year to do.

I am not trying to bash "staycations", we don't all have to love the same things, but even being in the UK is not a holiday for me. I am really dreading this school year as I don't know how easy it will be to manage the school breaks
It really is heartbreaking.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 26/08/2020 15:08

No way. My DM was a teacher and used to set homework for me during the holidays when I was staying at my Nans. Her brothers used to call it “torture”. She had absolutely no interest in helping me during term time or in the evening, so I think all this was partly for show.

My DS and I worked hard over the last few months with homeschooling, I think we both deserved a break tbh.

MarshaBradyo · 26/08/2020 15:08

yr10 was given summer work l. School is closed for sure but the students have stuff to do.

Yr5 has done a few 11plus papers but not school work

minipie · 26/08/2020 15:10

Nope none here. Especially not after the hell-fest that was home schooling.

I’ve got enough to be teaching my DC - manners, not fighting, not doing anything dangerous, not destroying stuff, tidying up, helping with a few chores, brushing teeth, getting to sleep vaguely on time, healthy eating - without adding schoolwork into the mix.

If they were naturally compliant children this might be different. They are not.

Divebar · 26/08/2020 15:11

When my DD was 5 I made her do a holiday diary which I thought was a great idea. I met a headteacher and when I mentioned that i was getting her to do that she said “ Oh! You’re one of THOSE parents”. So that was me told - I wouldn’t have much hope getting her to do one now she’s 8. That’s fair enough - it’s been a shit year. I don’t want to inflict anything further.

LightTheFlameThrower · 26/08/2020 15:17

Both of mine cope better with the return to school if the have kept up with everything,

Ds1 is awake 14 hours a day 1.5 spent going through some stuff doesn’t feel onerous to me. (And not every day).

If he didn’t do some he’s completely loose the plot when he goes back.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/08/2020 15:34

Wow. Its a bit sad if you cant think of fun stuff to do other than work when at home! Have the kids always been in nursery/school/nanny when not on holiday? Surely you've spent weekends at home/in your area?

No to holiday work. Im a teacher and the schools I've worked have actively discourage formal holiday work. For educational/developmental etc reasons!

Of course its good to switch off and have down time. Most people dont work on holiday if they have healthy habits.

But also there is so much more to learning than formal work. So lots of vale in play and other activities that are different to school. Depending on age theres lots that can be suggested to stimulate them but also being left to their own devices often leads to creativity (my 9yr old built a" cafe "from cardboard and cushions and made cakes to sell, took orders for sandwhiches etc. It involved the whole day and was immersive learning for her with planning, carrying something out, working out money, making cakes etc . It was her idea and took most of a day and she wouldnt have done it if I was organising her time. Kept her busy so I could work too.

My eldest has enjoyed long walks with my husband, both kids have learnt things from tv and extra time reading.

Definitely no to formal work!

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/08/2020 15:36

Ooh missed posts.

I quite like the holiday diary idea though. We did that once for a big longhaul holiday as a scrapbook and its a treasured item now .

areyoubeingserviced · 26/08/2020 15:39

Yes
Ds 15 has worked five days a week for four hours a day.
He is going into year 11 and realises that he needs to be able to get back into the swing of things.,
He has more than enough time to relax, see family and friends. He has actually said that he feels more confident about returning to school.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/08/2020 15:42

I do think its different if you have an exam year child. Especially this year :( . We normally encourage them to do a balance of revision and freetime but this year who knows what will happen to their exams.

AnnaMariaDreams · 26/08/2020 15:46

2 hours- no chance!
We have been doing 10 minutes mental maths over breakfast and 10 minutes times tables in the car most days but not every day. He reads every day.

Sarahbeans · 26/08/2020 17:30

Yes. I'm a teacher and the summer regression is well documented. However, whilst we did an hour approx 3 weekdays, we kept it fun and avoided worksheets.

When my DC were really little, they used to keep / write a diary and take a photo or draw a pic of what they did each day.

They also did the library reading challenge, and as they got older, they used to choose a project to do. Quite often we'd tie it in to something fun. So for example if they had chosen the Romans, they might do some writing about it in the morning, followed by a trip to the local amphitheater/ roman museum, and then maybe a totally fun activity such as swimming. The next morning they'd stick into their scrap book the post cards / momentos they had collected and write a bit about them. Other days they might make a Roman floor mosaic or a statue. Nothing too stressful, learning but also fun (ish!).

This year, my eldest did some prep work for her A levels, my youngest chose a project she wanted to do, but after lockdown we didn't really do anything though.

SantaClaritaDiet · 26/08/2020 17:45

Put it another way for the ones who find the concept so horrendous... the time they won't waste catching up in September will be put to better use, it's all in the best interest of the kids.

I mean no one HAS to do anything, but don't feel too sorry for those who don't spend 6 to 8 weeks or longer doing absolutely nothing, they are fine

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 26/08/2020 18:13

Sarah . I think things like going to Roman baths bad making roman murals are exactly the fun sort of activities we'd do in the summer. Not sit down for 2 hours and "do learning " but stuff thats fun, and the learning happens. We have an amazing museum where theg have theme days (lile they do for shools) usually in the holidays with people in character and my children have learnt so much through those.

And the reading challenge for younger children is brilliant!

There is so much beyond sitting and doing workbooks with a bit of imagination.

Aragog · 26/08/2020 19:04

I am not home on holiday! That's the whole point of holidays.

I can't go on holiday for all 13 weeks though ;)
To be fair for the majority of DH's 6 weeks of holiday we are away, except at Christmas time usually.

But that's 7 additional weeks.
Same for school children and teens.

starlet14 · 26/08/2020 19:06

We have done zero school work in the holidays. I think the vast majority are the same!

Rosebel · 26/08/2020 19:14

My two read over the holidays and it's a mixture of fiction and non fiction but that's because they enjoy it. They also meal plan and cook one meal a week each.
They worked really hard during lockdown and am sure they will in September so I don't see any harm in letting them chill in the holidays.

Taswama · 26/08/2020 19:31

We didn't do the holiday homework set over Easter or May half term by primary (none set by secondary) as we'd worked very hard and frankly I felt both ds and I needed a break and a chance to do some work.

We have done the summer holiday homework set by school but not in great depth. We do limit screen time and DS reads lots and also does 5 mins on a maths app most days. But research has shown that kids do better if they have some periods of complete downtime.
Older DS does a bit of Duolingo and reads lots too, but had only one piece of homework set.

I also hate continuing the nagging all summer as its just stressful.

nc600 · 26/08/2020 19:38

"Put it another way for the ones who find the concept so horrendous... the time they won't waste catching up in September will be put to better use, it's all in the best interest of the kids."

Don't be daft, the teacher won't change what they teach or how they use the time based on the fact you've had your kids do an hour or so of homeschool during the holidays. Every parent will be doing different things.

You seem to be instilling it into your kids that being "bored" is a terrible thing and that they must have constant stimulation. That they must combat the boredom rather than recognise it as part of everyday life.

To need constant entertainment, stimulation and to be "doing" all the time can be utterly exhausting as an adult and for those around them.

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