post natal depression with toddler

[mumofoneB]

I'm struggling to come to terms with how I feel since having my toddler.

I love him so much but since he's been born I've questioned whether I love him enough or the same as other parents love their children.

I look at him and i love him and he makes me laugh all the time but I don't always feel the huge pangs of love. Sometimes I feel uninterested like when we go out I worry if I'm on my phone my partner will think im not bothered. I don't alway feel like playing with my son then I feel guilty that I'm not interested

I'm not sure what I'm asking here but it's really been getting me down that I could possible not love my own child. I've got an appointment with the doctors tomorrow i guess I'm just seeking reassurance to see if anyone else has felt like this or gone through this and if it gets better. I'm so desperate to feel the rush of love and wanting to play with my son and feel so happy when he's around.

Does this feeling go away?

This sounds exactly like post natal depression. After my second was born, it took a long time for me to bond with her whilst I adored her, I found it incredibly hard to bond in the same way I did with my first.
I am on anti depressants now and I can assure you that me and all my children have a fantastic bond and are so loved. It will pass but make sure you do speak to the gp. The fact that you're asking this just shows to me that you do in fact love and care very much for your child, our brains tell us strange things sometimes xx

Thanks @notyouraveragecliche

I feel a lot better since booking the GP appointment like im a step further than I was.

I just feel that sometimes I do things with my son because I should as a mum rather than because I really want to which scares me.

I suffer a lot with health anxiety and I was so fearful of getting post natal depression i almost feel like I've given it to myself

I hear good and bad stories about anti depressants and I worry they will make me feel worse. Have you found them to help a lot?