Sorry if this is a long one but I have a lot of thoughts at the moment and am trying to get them straight in my own head! I'm a Reception teacher and currently 20 weeks pregnant. I told my HT as soon as I found out (during lockdown) and she has been super supportive. I spent the rest of the summer term working from home - even after my class went back in bubbles, she got another teacher to cover for me.
I found out at the end of last term that I'd been assigned a Reception class again for the new academic year - which I'm fine with in that I love teaching YR and am close to my Year Group colleagues, but I was a little surprised as it's such an important year for consistency, and social distancing is so hard in the Early Years. I asked for clarification about whether she would be expecting me back in school in September (Union advice at the time was still no) and she said it would be my choice, and school would support me whatever I decided to do. I said I was really hoping to return (which is true) but wanted to be sure it was safe and in line with guidance.
The Union guidance was updated at the start of this month to say that pregnant women should be in school only if supported by a risk assessment. So I asked my HT for a referral to Occupational Health in the hope that they will either tell me how to stay safe, or to stay at home.
Time is really running out to decide now. There was a delay getting my OH appointment, I'm hoping it will be in the next couple of days. I spoke to my HT yesterday and she says the standard OH guidance is to stay in school until 28 weeks then WFH. However, she is still saying it is ultimately my choice and they will support me. I am finding this decision so hard. Here are some of my pros and cons:
For going to school
- I really miss my colleagues
- I miss routines
- The first few weeks of Reception are really crucial and if I don't go in, it will be a random supply teacher
- I worry that people will think I'm being lazy or overreacting if I don't go
- I will be abandoning my lovely colleague, we have a great working relationship and she has Covid related issues of her own (a severely IC husband) so I know will already be really stressed about that on top of all the usual start-of-year stresses
- I really like my HT and my school, and I feel like I will be betraying them by putting them in this really difficult situation when they already have so much to deal with
- It's only going to be for 7 weeks
- There is no evidence that Covid is a particular problem for mother or baby in the second trimester
Against going to school
- There is no evidence that there are not long term effects on a baby who contracts Covid in utero (and won't be for a long time)
- There is evidence that Covid can damage the placenta and therefore affect fetal growth
- In Reception it will be impossible to socially distance - the children often need physical comfort, they have poor personal hygiene, you need to get face-to-face with them often
- I won't be able to wear a mask or anything as children that age depend so much on facial expressions as cues
- The thought of being surrounded by 30 children is already making me panicky, and I worry I won't be a very good teacher while trying to manage those feelings and stay on top of all the precautions I will need to take
- My DH really doesn't want me to go - he knows and accepts that it's my decision, but I'm not sure he could forgive me if I chose to go and something happened to the baby
- I'm not sure if I'd forgive myself either
This is genuinely the hardest decision I've ever had to make. Reading my list back, a lot of my 'fors' are to do with guilt, and I guess that's a short term consideration compared to my duty to my baby. But, I can't just dismiss those instincts either. I wish my HT wasn't so nice and would just tell me what to do, not make it my choice. Ugh. WWYD?