Regarding night shift sleeep

[wingingit987]

The biggest issue since having my almost 2 year old is sleep.

My oh works night shift Monday to Friday. Today is my day off so I've already been shouted at for the noise we're making down stairs and we've only been up a hour and a half.

I've asked for him to buy some ear plugs but i am pretty much ignored.

So now my toddler is sat with his dummy and the iPad the two things I said he couldn't have because I couldn't let him have a tantrum as we would get shouted at again.

He's told me that this is every week and it's unfair but I think it's unfair my toddler is getting everything he wants every time he throws a tantrum as he has to be quiet because dads in bed.

Aibu unreasonable asking him to wear ear plugs the one day we are home?

I feel for you, my DH worked nights for 16 years - but never complained about DC.
Have you got a room at the "other end of the house"? Keep all doors shut? And yes eat plugs will help.
I have also been known to feed the ducks at the park at 8-9 o'clock in the morning (weather permitting). DS was a particularly lively toddler but once he had a but of running around and playtime he was fine.
You need to have a talk and find a compromise once your DH is up. Both your "needs" are equally important.

I’m a shift worker and it can be brutal trying to keep going all night when you’ve had broken sleep during the day.

That being said it is pretty ridiculous to expect absolute silence. I’d try and spend as much time out of the house as is possible and when you are home try and keep noise to a minimum.

How many days are you home with ds when he’s working?

Nights are exhausting but it's not your fault.
Your dh cannot reasonably expect you both to be silent all day!
When I did nights I found,for two reasons,it was better to stay up after work until late afternoon/evening then go to bed until it was time to shower and go to work.
The two advantages were:
I was much more alert all night at work.
I was sleeping much closer to a normal night time sleeping pattern so when I was on a day off I wasn't struggling going from sleeping in the mornings to sleeping at night.
Your dh could at least give it a try and see if it works for him,your dc will also be sleeping at the same time?
Anyway,hope you sort something out.

He is ridiculous to not wear ear plugs!!!

Assuming that the toddler is not being allowed to go in to OHs room when sleeping, or sitting directly outside the door making a racket, then OH needs to get some earplugs and get a fucking grip, quite frankly. And having just re-read your post, you and toddler are only home one one day a week when he's on nights? FFS.

My children are 13 and 10. I have worked nights throughout their lifetimes, going back to work when each if them were 1. Some decent earplugs are all it takes.

Yanbu, it's not fair to expect your toddler to be quiet all day so your DP can sleep. Dh works night shift, I told him if he wanted to continue working nights he go back to his mum's after his shift to sleep because it is impossible to keep 3dc (5yo, 18months and 2months) quiet all day.

Can you go out? For a walk, to the park, the library (they are open again now), or even a museum (many are open, just need to book in advance)

I think yab a bit u

I couldn't sleep with ear plugs, I find they are too irritating. As a shift worker, I understand the difficulty of sleeping post nights. It's unreasonable for him to expect total silence, but at the same time you could go out for a bit to reduce noise at home.

I think if I was in this position I'd try and go out with the toddler for a few hours so he can get a chance of some sleep at least. But also he should try ear plugs you can get some fairly cheap and its unrealistic to be quiet all day!

My DP often works nights (currently working 15hr night shifts) we have 3 children (5yrs, 3yrs and 2yrs) apart from banning all noisy toys like instruments and keeping them downstairs we carry on as normal. DP uses white noise to block out any sounds that carry upstairs and never complains abouy any noise.

Hi thanks for all the replies.

I've ordered him earplugs he's upstairs and we are down stairs.

I work 3 long days a week usually 12 hour days. I have fridays off which I always go out for a day but on a weds we go out in the morning for a couple of hours but then usually spend the rest of the day at home as I don't usually have much time to catch up with everything that needs doing. So I tend to do that on a Wednesday.

This morning my toddler was having a tantrum because I wouldn't let him eat banana skin I tried all the usual techniques and nothing was working he then wanted him dummy which I wasn't going to give to him. 10 minutes of ignoring him and he will call down and go play but I can't do that when someone is banging on the floor upstairs or asking me to close all the doors I already have them all shut.

I'm going to see how we get on with ear plugs.

Tbh I might suggest he asks his mum if he can sleep there during the day on a Wednesday.

YANBU and I’m a nightshift worker.
Tough if it’s noisy(been there, done that)

He needs the earplugs not everybody tiptoeing around.

I’m still getting disrupted sometimes (neighbours’ DIY, lawnmowers and so on). I can’t expect everybody around to be quiet because I want to sleep during the day.