Hi mum's,
This is going to be a very lengthy one so hope you've got your cuppas.
I left an extremely abusive relationship beginning of July this year. I was assisted by social services and DV agency in leaving my ExP, it culminated in him smashing me in the face, blood everywhere, all in front of DD :( he's been arrested multiple times for attacking me, once when I was heavily pregnant at 30 weeks. There is all manner of evidence to support he is a violent abuser. He also almost destroyed me mentally and emotionally with his level of abuse. Also a serial cheater and liar, gaslighted me, coerced me into thinking I had mental health issues, made insinuations I'm an unfit mother.. The LOT. I've had social services involved since the last incident in May and I also told DDs previous nursery of the abuse and they worked in conjunction with SS to get us to safety. Since I realised the relationship with ExP was failing, I started every single bit of spare money I had and by July I had enough to get a deposit and pay two months rent and furnish a new house for DD and I. We are now safely away from him and SS services advised me to not allow any form of contact and that to let him file the application into court. He was also slapped with an ex parte non molestation order.. Needless to say when he realised I was gone for good I got harassed, hounded and stalked like you wouldn't believe.. It ended up with him landing himself in hospital after a failed suicide attempt. SS also received some evidence that he abused DD :( and wrote an extremely damming report on him. I was advised he'd be extremely lucky to have even indirect contact with DD. It's been almost 7 weeks since we left and started our new life, he hasn't so much as sent me 50p for his daughter so needless to say I got into CMS straight away, they did a calculation of the weekly amount he should be paying towards his daughter. It was a reasonable amount and based on how much I know he earns I would've been happy with that.. He's since asked for a mandatory reconsideration and my question was does he still have to make payments whilst this is being reconsidered. His first payment is due on the 1st September, he is also in arrears of over £700. I've been notified by CMS to let them know if he doesn't pay within 5 days and they'll switch the case to collect and pay, can anyone advise on how long this takes? I'm preparing myself for a long wait. This is a man who has told me he will fight me all the way for his daughter but hasn't sent so much as ten pence for her upkeep, he's had two months to file in an application for court and has done nothing.. I've also learnt his solicitor has binned him because they found him extremely difficult and aggressive to deal with and that they told him to seek representation elsewhere, he is now representing himself.. This is a man that completely and utterly wanted to destroy me, mentally, emotionally, physically.. He never thought I'd leave him.. I put the safety of my child over him like any decent self respecting responsible mother would do.. Enough is enough. I just know in his mind withholding financial help is the last bit of control he has over me.
Another thing is, we have the return hearing for the non molestation order in September whereby he will contest it. I just know all manner of lies will come out.. He will make accusations I abused him, I'm mental and I'm an unfit mother. I'm scared if they revoke the order I'll have no protection from him and if he was ever to find out where we were he'd turn up and potentially abduct my daughter and put me through what he's currently going through. SS have also highlighted a potential abduction risk.. I fully believe ExP has mental health issues and has undiagnosed depression.. I definitely think the week leading up to us fleeing he had some kind of mental breakdown.. How he treated me was horrific :( anyway, sorry for the long one just wanted to give you all background. Any responses would be greatly appreciated. Thanks x