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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about your tubal ligation?

18 replies

022828MAN · 25/08/2020 13:39

I am currently pregnant with second child. I've always only wanted 2 and we just wouldn't have the space, money, time, or energy for more. I also feel ethically it's the right thing for not adding to overpopulation.
Anyhoo, I have been offered tubal ligation as part of my c section procedure which is coming up and I'm quite keen to go ahead. I don't want to take hormonal contraception ever again and would rather not have to think about contraception in general for the remaining 20+ years of fertility I have left.

The only single situation I can envision where I would regret this, is if (God forbid) something happened to my child/ren. I know of a family friend who had a vasectomy after having 2 children and then tragically lost his wife and both children in a house fire. When he remarried later on in life he tried for a vasectomy reversal which was unsuccessful and they didn't end up putting themselves through IVF.

Has anyone had their tubes tied? Has anyone regretted it? Any other shared experiences of the procedure, risks etc would be great to hear too!

OP posts:
Allyo19 · 25/08/2020 14:15

I had mine done as part of csection. I had a horrendous time with my mental health in both my pregnancies and I wouldn't have coped with doing it again.

The procedure takes about an extra 10-15 minutes once the baby is out (i think, i was pretty drugged and giddy at the time). I still went home the next day, although they said an extra night in hospital is normal.

I did have a wobble about my decision for a few nights once I got home but I think that was just part of my hormones going wild. Now I am 100% content with my decision. If you have any doubts, then don't do it. I knew, that with 2 step kids and 2 of my own - at nearly 40, that I was done.

bg21 · 25/08/2020 14:21

in my experience it was the worst decision I've ever made , pretty much has fucked me up over the last 7 years , i would think very very hard before committing to something like this as its a lot of money and hassle to reverse xx

SummerPoppies · 25/08/2020 14:51

I had it done almost 30 years ago and I've never looked back.
The freedom from the problems of hormonal contraceptives, along with not having to remember the damn things if I went on holiday etc was an absolute joy.
Not worrying about pregnancy was an even bigger joy.
I've never had any physical problems with it.
If you're sure that you have finished your family, then I would recommend it.

crazymare20 · 25/08/2020 14:56

I had my tubes tied during c-section with my third child. I haven’t suffered any physical problems from this. I did have some doubts during the first few weeks and I still have little pangs of regret every now and again but I know realistically my family is complete and I am happy with that. Only do it if you are 100% certain you do not want anymore.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/08/2020 15:05

I had it done 20 years ago, and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. I never regretted it for a second.

CCSS15 · 25/08/2020 15:11

I just had mine done 7 months ago when I had my second child by elective c section. I too was fed up of hormonal contraceptives and knew that I didn't want / couldnt afford any more kids - also I'm the world's worst pregnant person and couldn't go through that again

It took an additional 15 mins in theatre - not sure about extra recovery as this was my first section so had nothing to measure it against but I was discharged next day and up and about albeit a little tenderly for a few weeks

The only thing I will say is that it doesn't switch off your hormones so when you get to 4 / 5 months pp you will still get the pangs to want another new born even though you know you would never do it

If you know you don't want anymore kids then its great as gives such peace of mind and no more peeing on a stick just in case - although fyi its not 100% and I think 1 / 200 fail

october18 · 25/08/2020 15:25

I'm due a section in 6 weeks...2nd baby. Same situation/reasons as you. Was adamant I wanted it done but now don't think I will. My consultant has told me that if it's done during a c-section there's a 1 in 200 chance of failure. Due to swelling etc. The success rate just isn't high enough for me to be confident in relying on it.

zonkin · 25/08/2020 15:54

I had my done as part of of my c-section with DC4. No regrets and no extra recovery compared to my previous c-sections. Sent DH off for a vasectomy as well, just to be extra sure!

However, I was completely sure that my family was/is complete. I was offered it with DC3's c-section and didn't do it then.

Pregnantandredundant · 25/08/2020 16:05

In the same boat as you, and honestly I don’t think I’ll end up going ahead with it. The failure rate is too high to stop using contraception altogether, so it’s just a ‘back up’ really. I hate being pregnant and definitely don’t want any more children, but if in the worst case scenario I lost my family for whatever reason, it would be nice to have the option.

Cabinfever10 · 25/08/2020 16:17

I had mine done over a decade ago and have never regretted it.
I would say that if you have it done with your c-section it has a higher failure rate, so if possible I would advise you to get it done around 20-30 weeks post partum it's a 10 minute key hole op and I was only in the hospital for 4 hours and other than a bit of trapped wind had no pain

Original poster
022828MAN · 25/08/2020 16:19

Thanks for all the replies and I'm sorry for those that have done it and regretted their decision, that must be really tough Flowers

For those saying it's not effective enough to go for it, 99.5% success rate is more effective than any other type of contraceptive isn't it?

I would go for the copper IUD but I have endometriosis so it's not recommended, otherwise that would be my first choice.

I'll have a good think about it and talk with DH before I make a definitive decision.

OP posts:
Original poster
022828MAN · 25/08/2020 16:21

@Cabinfever10

I had mine done over a decade ago and have never regretted it. I would say that if you have it done with your c-section it has a higher failure rate, so if possible I would advise you to get it done around 20-30 weeks post partum it's a 10 minute key hole op and I was only in the hospital for 4 hours and other than a bit of trapped wind had no pain
Ah that's good to know, and I would still be on my maternity leave so wouldn't need to take more leave from work for the op/recovery if that's what I decided.
OP posts:
Original poster
022828MAN · 25/08/2020 16:22

Cabinfever10

Did you find there was any barriers or difficulties getting a referral when you did decide to get it done?

OP posts:
PleaseChooseAnother · 25/08/2020 16:23

@bg21

in my experience it was the worst decision I've ever made , pretty much has fucked me up over the last 7 years , i would think very very hard before committing to something like this as its a lot of money and hassle to reverse xx
If you don't mind me asking, do you mean you regretted it or it gave you physical problems?

I'm considering the same (not as part of a cs, though)

I'm absolutely certain about my family being complete, but I am worried about side effects

GrimSisters · 25/08/2020 16:33

I had mine done nearly 6 years ago during c-section #3. Absolutely the right decision. The reg who started the operation was reluctant to do it, however it had all been agreed beforehand with the consultant, so she had to. When my knackered and scarred uterus lost me 2+ litres of blood and 2.5 hours in theatre though, she conceded it had been the right decision!
DH would never have gone for vasectomy 🙄 and for me, is great not to have to rely on hormonal contraception. I know exactly when I ovulate, can rely on my cycles and never have to worry about an accidental pregnancy in my 40s.
Having it done during c-section means the tubes can be cut and cauterised without having to have a foreign body such as Essure or similar.
Absolutely no regrets here.

Cabinfever10 · 25/08/2020 17:09

@022828MAN
I spoke to a male gp and he refused to refer me so I got an appointment with a female gp who referred me there and then .
I saw the surgeon 3 weeks later (lovely lady) who went through everything with me and booked me in for 8 weeks time (would of been sooner but I was only 13 weeks post parterm) .
From the experience my friends and I have had the key is to get a female gp to refer you, male ones tend to think that they know your mind better than you.

DarkHelmet · 25/08/2020 17:24

I had mine done during c-section with my 3rd DC. The consultant advised it as she was my 3rd section and a 4th baby would also need to be a c-section which can be risky. Afterwards, I had a huge wobble as it actually hit me that I would never even have the option of a 4th child, and in some ways I regret it. My eldest 2 are close in age with a large gap between them and my youngest. In hindsight it would've been nice to give my youngest DC a sibling closer in age.

MrsC2006 · 25/08/2020 20:01

I had mine done ten years ago during a planned c section absolutely no regrets and glad I don't need to rely on hormonal contraception now.

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