@HoppingPavlova tbh I find your set up odd. You would expect your DC to foot the bill if you go out for a meal? Really? Why?
It’s not odd. It’s someone providing recognition, appreciation and respect for the lifetime of shit you go through with parenting. Not only parenting though, any nurturing role that has come to fruition. For example I will take my elderly aunt out when possible (the only relative I have that lives within a few hours drive). I pick her up, take her somewhere nice, pay for her meal and drive her home. As a child she would always include me in their family vacations and treat me like one of her own with my cousins. I appreciate she did that and it’s a way of showing appreciation. Same with my kids, they have not exactly had a bad life and while we have never given them everything we have in order to score the odd free meal when they are adults, I would think showing appreciation by such a gesture is warranted, just as we do for my parents or in-laws.
I don’t live anywhere near my mum. It’s a flight so we don’t see each other often. I’m very grateful for what my mum has done for me during my childhood, adolescence and young adult years (not monetary but encouraging my education, goals, teaching life skills, always providing an ear to listen etc), so the thought of bitching that I took her away and paid for all her meals is unthinkable to me. I feel privileged to be able to show my appreciation in such a small way (albeit small meaning paying for her flights, accomodation, meals, outings etc for a few weeks every couple of years).