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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this much alcohol isn't normal?

8 replies

DHLikesADrink · 24/08/2020 23:45

DH only usually drinks 3 nights a week, but on those nights he normally drinks quite a lot. One bottle of wine and multiple beers each night (at least 2 beers, often 3 or 4).

DH has recurring gout which I suspect might be caused or aggravated by the drinking. He is currently refusing to see a doctor about it because he thinks the doctor will tell him to cut back on his alcohol. I've told him that if he goes to the doctor they will probably prescribe him something, but he should also expect a bit of a lecture from the doctor because he is way over the limit.

I've told DH I think he's an alcoholic - it's causing him problems but he doesn't want to stop or cut down. DH doesn't thinking he's an alcoholic because he doesn't drink for most of the week.

DH is basically drinking 14 units or more of alcohol each night every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 14 units is the recommended amount for an entire week. DH says that nobody who drinks actually sticks to the 14 units. I think lots of sensible adults do or at least only go over it a little, especially if it's causing health problems. AIBU to think this? I am teetotal as I dislike the taste of alcohol so don't feel I have a good grasp on what other people do.

OP posts:
ACautionaryTale · 24/08/2020 23:49

You’ll have everyone agreeing with you. This is Mumsnet where people only drink a sheet at Christmas and anything more makes you an alcoholic.

ACautionaryTale · 24/08/2020 23:49

That was a sherry!

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/08/2020 23:52

If it’s a bottle of wine plus three beers every time, then yes, that’s a lot. It doesn’t necessarily make him an alcoholic, but you can have a drink problem without being a full-blown alcoholic in my view.

DHLikesADrink · 24/08/2020 23:56

I don't think it's the level of alcohol itself that makes him an alcoholic necessarily - more that it's causing the alcohol is causing him health issues and he won't even entertain the thought of cutting back a bit.

I should add that when we started dating a few years ago he used to regularly drink 2 bottles of wine a night plus beers every Friday/Saturday/Sunday, but I made it clear to him that I hated it when he drank that much because he becomes really unpredictable and would probably have to break up with him if he carried on doing it - so he had cut back a little.

OP posts:
FeelTheRush · 25/08/2020 00:01

Agree it’s a lot but also agree it doesn’t necessarily make him an alcoholic. The refusing to deal with gout must be frustrating though. Is the reason he wont go to the doctors purely related to the drinking or does he not like going in general?

DHLikesADrink · 25/08/2020 00:05

Is the reason he wont go to the doctors purely related to the drinking or does he not like going in general?

To be fair, he doesn't like going anyway and thinks doctors are useless. However, he's in major pain and I'm having to do lots of extra things because it hurts him to walk around so I think he would normally go. He has specifically said "I don't want to go because they will tell me to cut back on the alcohol." It is extremely frustrating.

He is also overweight bordering on obese. He says that this is due to his age. I think it's due to all the alcohol 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
ILoveFood87 · 25/08/2020 00:06

Hes an alcoholic.

LagunaBubbles · 25/08/2020 00:10

I have no idea if he's an alcoholic or not but the main problem is his refusal to go to his GP and seek advice about his health problems.

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