To have issues about my A level grades from 25 years ago...

[Beckidewinter]

This is a non-problem: tiniest violin territory, really, and I'm only posting out of curiosity to see if anyone has advice or can empathise. I have never confessed this to anyone...

I took my A levels 25 years ago and was totally and utterly devastated when I got BBB rather than the AAA I was predicted. I wept for two weeks. The consequences were nil. My parents were delighted (they were/are of the 'whatever makes you happy, darling' school of parenting), I was accepted into my first choice of University, did well and now have an MSc and PhD. Why then do I feel a sense of failure and, yes, embarrassment at this time of year, every year when the press are full of stories of success. Why on earth would it bother me and make me feel a bit sad and queasy in 2020? It's silly, irrational and more than a bit pathetic.

Most tragically (and secretly) of all, I find myself comparing my marks to those of famous people for solace "well, David Miliband got 3 Bs and he seems pretty bright..."

To be clear, like many people in their 40s, I have experienced real loss and grief and other painful life stuff, so you'd think I would have acquired perspective or wisdom or something, but alas, no and this just keeps biting for some reason ...Does anyone relate or care to psycho-analyse, or is it a loud chorus of YABVU?

Gosh all you poor private school kids, struggling away.....what a tough life. .

Oh, you again. Great.

It's perfectly possible to be a 'poor' private school kid, btw. There were three or four of us in my year.

I 'screwed up' (but still got - so yeah, tiny violins) my degree and still wince when I have to admit what I got. But in the grand scheme of things I have both done OK and experienced far worse and like you, am not really sure why it still bothers me.

I didn’t know 16+ was around for a few years. I did 16+ science and something else, I forget. History maybe?

@HoldMyLobster

Just found another Mumsnet thread about 16+ exams. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/education/278497-joint-cse-and-o-level-exams-desperately-need-info-on

The first GCSEs were 1988, but I took 16+ exams in 1984 or 1985. I also did an A/O level - I wonder if those are still around?

I took one in 1986. Didn’t know that’s what it was called, we were told at the time it was to do with the change to GCSE that was coming.

I remember at the time feeling suspicious that there was something about 16+ that made it more likely to get a B, and wondering if I'd have got an A if I'd taken O levels in those subjects.

Looking back now I know full well I got Bs because I didn't start revising till 10 days before my 12 exams

I did 3 sciences 30 years ago in a good comp and needed 3 b for my Russell group uni. Literally the only one who got 3x a went onto medicine.

Grade inflation is a thing.

We don't talk about my 2.2 degree in this house though..

@Hepcat75

Oh, you again. Great.

That's rather rude I feel.

A lot of ex public school people are rude though, IME. And rant on as if they had it tough. Still, if it was really that awful and your teaching so terrible perhaps you'll send your own dc to state schools.

Well, for my part, I think you're unutterably offensive (as well as incredibly strange) so we're all square there.
Er - mine have gone to grammar schools, actually: I'm still dirt poor but my kids are really really clever.

YANBU. I got 3As and one D and I am 100% sure the D was just down to appalling teaching. I still regret that we didn't do anything or report him or whatever. There were only 5 of us taking that subject and we all got D or E. it still rankles despite the As even though it means nothing and nobody cares!

As I always say to MIL,who is obsessed with exam grades and still brags about her children's who are 59, 57 and 55, it's not so much about what you do at school which is a small proportion of your life overall but what you do with the whole of your life.

I haven’t thought about my A Levels in forever. But in 1990 I got a wonderfully bad D, E and an N! It has made my daughter laugh her arse off at my shit grades and she knows she will never do as badly as me. So they did do something useful 30 years later.

I still managed to get a 2.1 when I went to Uni - less boys and booze were involved in getting my degree

I still feel sick on A level results day as it still is the worst day of my life to date. I was predicted AAB and ended up with D's and Es. Never in my life thought that would happen and I revised so bloody hard for those exams. I dont want to jump on the "it wasnt my fault" situation but looking back my Maths tutor was off sick for 6 out of the 9 months of my final year and I was forced into doing physics which I really hated and didnt want to do from the beginning. Neither of my parents went to uni so at the time i was at the mercy of the school careers advisor (looking back he was a sexist waste of space) who told me I was only going to do science at uni if I did 3 sciences/maths at A level. In reality this was and still is complete nonsense. Luckily my life has turned out ok as although I didnt get in to uni i ended up doing my chosen profession by taking the long way of starting another degree through clearing and then switching. Unfortunately I still have to put my A level results on any courses I need for my profession as we do a lot of post graduate level courses (Im a pharmacist) and those bloody grades follow me around nearly 20 years later! I still get tortured by my family over them which just makes the whole thing worse really. I dont know what I'm going to do when my kids sit their exams!

I’m never sure how I feel about the “N” grade. “You failed, but you nearly passed” - not sure I’d want to know!

A lot of ex public school people are rude though, IME. And rant on as if they had it tough. Still, if it was really that awful and your teaching so terrible perhaps you'll send your own dc to state schools.

Was the local comp for me and my eldest went to the same one. My youngest is there now.

I got 2 Ns and a U, years ago a recruiter asked what the N was for, I said Nearly/Not quite and she laughed and got me the job anyway!

I did so badly at French A level they gave me another O level.

I feel exactly the same about the sole B (English language) that I got in my GCSEs back in 1992. All my others were grade A (A* didn’t exist back then). It was entirely coursework and people who got lower marks than me in class got an A. I wish I’d known about the possibility of getting it re-marked at the time (I worked for a GCSE exam board in the summers during my undergrad degree - boy was that an eye opener!).

It hasn’t held me back - I have a degree from Oxford and a PhD from Imperial and several professional qualifications. But it still rankles.

@OhTheRoses

As I always say to MIL,who is obsessed with exam grades and still brags about her children's who are 59, 57 and 55, it's not so much about what you do at school which is a small proportion of your life overall but what you do with the whole of your life.

Absolutely this. MIL sent DH and SIL to private schools and is all about the grades, pushing them both incredibly hard. DH was the golden child and excelled, SIL was the opposite and rebelled and didn't do well at all. One of the first things she asked me when she met me was which University I attended and what class degree I achieved (irony of ironies my grades and degree are 'better' than DH's) and she was mortified that I'd attended a Grammar school not private.

Not once have I ever been asked about my grades since leaving school. Not once have I been judged on them in work. They're a minute part of your life as an adult and whilst I love that my DC work hard in school, their grades mean very little overall. I'd prefer them to have a great work ethic, find hobbies and jobs they love, and know how to respect themselves and others.

I relate to the disappointment at the time (though other people I was at school with for whom I think nerves played a part), but have no shame in my grades 40 years later. Indeed still regard one of them as the miracle of my life.

I always think my Bs would be A*s in today's money. But two weeks on from the results - does anyone care? I've never once in decades been asked to produce proof that I got them, nor for that matter proof that I got a degree. First job offer depended on having a degree but they took it on trust when I said I did. I do feel sorry when I see all the hysteria and anxiety these days and think how little any of it matters once you get started.

I was considered fairly bright all through school and ended up with CDE. Still went to uni (not a great one) and got my bachelors. Now I own two businesses and life is great 🤷‍♀️ I don’t give my A-Levels a second thought. They’re a stepping stone, not the be all and end all, and they did end up getting me to a good place in life ultimately so why dwell on it?

@HainaultViaNewburyPark

I feel exactly the same about the sole B (English language) that I got in my GCSEs back in 1992. All my others were grade A (A* didn’t exist back then). It was entirely coursework and people who got lower marks than me in class got an A. I wish I’d known about the possibility of getting it re-marked at the time (I worked for a GCSE exam board in the summers during my undergrad degree - boy was that an eye opener!).

It hasn’t held me back - I have a degree from Oxford and a PhD from Imperial and several professional qualifications. But it still rankles.

I know exactly how you feel.

There's just something irritating about the lone grade that doesn't match the others!

And MIL has for years banged on about how practical I am and it's because I'm not academic. All her DC went to RG Uni's DH to Oxford. I have heard ad nauseum how DH and SIL2 were head boy and head girl and how they got AAAA and AAB and ABC, etc, etc, and although SIL1 got a C it was in maths and it's extraordinary that someone can be artistic, musical and exceptional at maths. [Yawn] emoticon. How wonderful it is that I can cook, dress well, look after myself am highly extravagant, sew, clean, etc.

Well sadly her dd's have minimal life skills - One works in a shop; one's an administrator. I, old practical thicko have a director level role and could exist very comfortably without her ds. Whose delish super academic sisters have referred to as a "corporate bastard". It's taken me 30 years to treat her comments with a pinch of salt. Ex Deputy Head. And there lies the rub