To have issues about my A level grades from 25 years ago...

[Beckidewinter]

This is a non-problem: tiniest violin territory, really, and I'm only posting out of curiosity to see if anyone has advice or can empathise. I have never confessed this to anyone...

I took my A levels 25 years ago and was totally and utterly devastated when I got BBB rather than the AAA I was predicted. I wept for two weeks. The consequences were nil. My parents were delighted (they were/are of the 'whatever makes you happy, darling' school of parenting), I was accepted into my first choice of University, did well and now have an MSc and PhD. Why then do I feel a sense of failure and, yes, embarrassment at this time of year, every year when the press are full of stories of success. Why on earth would it bother me and make me feel a bit sad and queasy in 2020? It's silly, irrational and more than a bit pathetic.

Most tragically (and secretly) of all, I find myself comparing my marks to those of famous people for solace "well, David Miliband got 3 Bs and he seems pretty bright..."

To be clear, like many people in their 40s, I have experienced real loss and grief and other painful life stuff, so you'd think I would have acquired perspective or wisdom or something, but alas, no and this just keeps biting for some reason ...Does anyone relate or care to psycho-analyse, or is it a loud chorus of YABVU?

I’m 31 and still embarrassed/annoyed about my BCD (predicted ABB). My parents moved me to a grammar school for sixth form (from a private school) where I was mercilessly bullied and unsupported by teachers who didn’t bother to learn my name. After my AS results came back my parents panicked and put me back in the private school for my second year, which was enough to pull me up a point or two but still lost me my place at university - the course I had chosen had high enter requirements and I couldn’t get in to any university to study it with BCD. I chose another course - something totally different - and have probably done better than I would have done on my original plan, but I still wonder what my parents were thinking moving me at a crucial time and not listening when I was a month or two in and having a miserable time.

I think a lot of us hold on to bitter memories relating to secondary school - maybe that first boyfriend who cheated on us or simply didn’t really love us back, or the school bullies who intimidated us, or that teacher who ridiculed us in front of the class, or the injustice of your parents trying to control your life, or the experience of a much-loved pet dying. All sorts of things can still trigger people and take them right back to revisit thoughts and feelings we should have left behind us long ago.

It is a time when your emotions were heightened by adolescence and when your experience of the world was limited so every small injustice and disappointment took on a bigger significance in the short span of your life to date. You invest so much in preparing for those exams, but it has grown out of proportion in your life.

So this is how I’d look at it. It’s like having a little mouth ulcer after you bite the inside of your cheek - it feels like a massive lump and somehow you keep biting it or poking it with your tongue, you can’t leave it alone. So it stays sore.

The best thing is to simply ignore it.

I can relate! I was undecided between Maths and History A level and chose Maths as I thought that gave me a broader range on subjects as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. (I also took English and French) It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done - I completely failed my mock. I worked hard revising and ended up with a C which I was really pleased with but as a result of focusing on it I let the other subjects slide and ended up with a B and D instead on the predicted A and B

I still kick myself now and wished I had taken history especially as that is something I still have an interest in all these years later!

I do get you OP. Although I have to say its never long-term been an issue for me.
29 years ago I got a BCD for my A-levels. I would say that was a Royal Fuk up for me, and worse, my parents thought I was joking when I told them. They were very nice about it afterwards but I could tell they were pretty gutted as I'd been an A student my entire life (no A then)
All due respect to them, they always supported me whatever sh*t decision I made. I'd decided I wanted to move from my private school to the local 6th form for A-levels. That was a bum move for my grades, but an excellent one for my social life. I'd relied on natural ability my entire life but all of a sudden, it all got a bit harder, and I just wasn't up to it, espcially as I suddently spent a lot more time concentrating on boys and booze, as you do, when you're 16 and have spent the last 6 years at an all girls school.

After that, I went on to art college for a year, realised at the eleventh hour that a degree in the arts was a bag decision for me and switched direction to do engineering. I got a 2:1. I'd warned my dad long in advance there would be no first, so he was prepared this time. Procrastinated after that by taking a live-in housekeeping job in the lakes for a year, then procrastinated a bit longer by doing a masters. I eventually got my first 'real' job at 25 in IT. No-one asked about my A-levels.

Ooh heck.. light hearted... I'm so proud of my Astronomy GCSE B I got in my 40's

I tried hard and got what would be now low level grades (anyone else here got caught up in the 16+ fiasco in the mid 80's). But used it to better myself and more importantly my children. My DD1 (Asperger's) is about to begin her Master's. Ds is off to start his degree in September on the only course of 30 places in the UK which he was offered at interview and DD2 has just smashed her GCSEs she was my worry for the future child..

I also love my job

I'm thinking not bad for a low level student

This, in a nutshell. It's like GCSEs now, everybody gets top grades.

No they don't. Lots of students don't get too grades. Many get borderline (in terms of a standard pass) and many get below this.

Please stop trying to drag down our young people in order to make older adults feel better about their own older grades. It's unfair.

OP

I never done A Levels (was not clever enough) but did get ONE O level in History Grade B
I am proud of that one O Level
I would be ever so proud of you if I was your Mum if you got 3 B's instead of A's. Don't beat yourself up, you done far better than I ever did.

I suppose, in hindsight, I could have stayed for Upper Sixth and done A Level history but I went to college instead then started to temp (to get the experience most ads wanted) I did end up with two full time jobs , Customs and Excise and the Met Police and, again in hindsight, so wish I had returned to the Met Police (typist) after I had my firstborn
But as they say, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

@Serin

Some people value their looks or their ability to make friends easily, I'm guessing you are someone who based a lot of your self worth on your intelligence and therefore the B's rather than A's, hit you harder than most. You have a PhD. Wow!! I think you have proved your cognitive ability now. Forget the B's.

I so agree with you! It's the foundation of your self worth!

Of course it's normal to feel what you OP feel. At the same time there are ways to help your annual suffering

The only point of any exam like that is to get you to whatever next stage you want/need. Once you've passed GCSEs and got in to A levels, the actual grades of the GCSEs don't matter. Once you've got in to uni, your A level grades don't matter. Once you've got a degree, and got a job, your degree classification doesn't really matter much. The difference between someone with an A* and someone with a B is far less than the difference between those two and someone with no qualifications. Same with a degree - the difference between someone with no degree and someone with a degree is far greater (for employers) than the difference between someone with a 2.i and someone with a 2.ii

If your grades get you where you need, then they're good enough, and good enough is always enough.

I got two E's an N and a U.....don't think they even do the 'N' anymore! Went on to get a 2:1 honours degree and a doctorate. A-levels were the learning curve for me to show me I needed to work harder (was the first to do GCSEs, and I coasted through those with no effort whatsoever). Don't give out these grades to anyone now.....just my degree and PhD.

Really pleased for those who get their grades, but my 'crash' was exactly what I needed looking back - it did me the world of good!

I got A*ABC and CD at AS Level and had to do a foundation year for my med degree and I’m still upset

I was predicted a B in my French A Level ( 30 years ago) and ended up with a U; in fact the whole class of about 8 of us got a U! I had wanted to take languages at uni. Nobody appealed. The college didnt look into it. It didnt seem to be a thing then, it was just -Oh well never mind, move on. To this day I would love to know why we all failed. Especially as I then did English at uni instead for 3 years, then decided to go to work as an au pair in Lyon and met other English au pairs who had grade As and Bs for their French A level and their French was shit compared to mine. I really wish I could find out why we all failed. The only thing I can think of is that we were supposed to discuss two books in the literature part but we'd only actually studied one (it was a crap college) Anyway I'm now a French teacher so all's well that ends well...

Who the fuck are these parents that get upset if their kids get Bs instead of As? It's bloody toxic!

@AnnaFiveTowns

Who the fuck are these parents that get upset if their kids get Bs instead of As? It's bloody toxic!

Oh I know one or two of them.

I do know what you mean OP..... I've had 'issues' with my A levels for years when applying for jobs.

I got BBE in 2000.... My E was in Maths, which is even more amusing, as I managed to get an A at GCSE (I got U's and N's in my P1,P2,P3 modules...)

I then did a BSc and Ph.D in Computer Science and have worked in IT / IT Security for over 10 years.

When I was applying for jobs, I'd always write '3 A levels in...... ' but not put grades. I've actually had recruiters ask me what grades I got and then come back with ' You may have a Doctorate and professional qualifications (CISM / CISSP etc) but your A levels aren't good enough......'

Now I find it an absolute joke and think that I've dodged a bullet as a company so focused on A level grades probably doesn't have the culture I'm looking for.

I'd try really hard not to feel a failure - as they obviously weren't the be all and end all for you or your 'academic journey', plus, I know people who aren't necessarily academic, but are so bloody clever it's insane - far more clever than I am.

I'm now studying wine (WSET 4), which I find really enjoyable, but Jesus... it uses bits of my brain I've never really used before!

.... Do you think if you went back and did your A levels again, you'd get different grades? I'll be totally honest and say no for me.... I just couldn't get my head around the pure maths and I don't think it would be any different 20 years on. Maybe it's as simple as..... we all have different skills / talents and mine doesn't lie in maths and yours are all good skills, but not as good as others?

.... Doesn't mean we're not super awesome in others ways though

(Like drinking wine, for example... I'm bloody great at that)

I got 3 B’s 32 years ago and was over the moon. I was five months pregnant when I took my exams and couldn’t have worked harder.

@FluffyPersian You have a point, while I'd do Biology again, there's no way I'd do Chemistry or Physics. I'd do Geography and History - I love history now, yet it never interested me at school (probably the teacher wasn't inspiring)

I still have some issues about my A Level grades from 26 years ago

On paper they sound great - 3 As, a B and a C.

One A was general studies, so doesn’t count.
Other As were physics and single maths
B was further maths
C was chemistry

Something happened to me at the beginning of the 6th form which triggered my first bout of depression. And I know I didn’t work as effectively as I had before.

I regret deciding to do chemistry at university when I should have done physics. But things have turned out fine.

I think seeing the results makes me remember how horrible most of the 6th form was. And that no one really realised how difficult it all was for me.

So it’s probably not really about the grades (although I would have liked more As I suppose) but how I had been for the past two years

Gosh I feel exactly the same and I did my A levels in 1969!!

I have seen recent A Level papers in the subjects I did and realised back then the exams were at a very high level so don't feel so bad about it.

When I was in 6th form I had a french teacher who didn't particularly like me and put on my report "Hazel needs a miracle if she thinks she will pass her A level French" I passed (quite well as it happens) but I wonder if I had not been able to take it because of covid how I would have fared.

Once you have higher level qualifications then no one cares about your A-levels. All they do is get you into university.

I did well on mine fwiw, but all it did was secure my university place. No one is in the slightest bit interested in them now.

I know how you feel. I still feel disappointment that I didn't get the grades I needed to be a Vet and should have taken a year out and gone to medical school instead. However, I had no careers advice and drifted through a second choice degree that I wasn't really interested in. When I graduated, I got a job and have been really successful in my (healthcare related) field, but still 35 years on part of me wishes I had become a doctor.

@RaskolnikovsGarret

I understand your pain. I have been an A star student at every stage of my life, got a first in my law degree, and have won countless prizes, and am having what would be considered to be a successful career.

But because of a problem with the teaching of the geography syllabus, all of my class (the top class - we were streamed) got Cs and Ds in our Geography GCSE. I have never got over that C.

My family tease me about it, but it’s my secret shame. Need to get over it really - I’m nearly 50!

If you're nearly 50 there were no A star grades when you were at school - or did you not mean that literally. (Also, if you're any older than 48 then you would have sat O' levels.)

I had a shit time in sixth form dealing with traumatic personal/medical issues, one teacher who was a bully and another who was off long-term sick for a good two terms of the course and wasn't replaced.

I got lots of firsts at university (although a 2:1 over all) and then a distinction for my Master's at a top uni. I think a lot depends on what else is going on at the time, on self-confidence, and on learning styles that suit you best (exams don't suit me, but I got an A for a 20,000-word dissertation which is no walk in the park).

If you're nearly 50 there were no A star grades when you were at school - or did you not mean that literally. (Also, if you're any older than 48 then you would have sat O' levels.)

That confused me too. GCSEs back then were A through to "thick as shit" (not sure what the letter was). I was first year GCSE and I'm 48.