To have issues about my A level grades from 25 years ago...

[Beckidewinter]

This is a non-problem: tiniest violin territory, really, and I'm only posting out of curiosity to see if anyone has advice or can empathise. I have never confessed this to anyone...

I took my A levels 25 years ago and was totally and utterly devastated when I got BBB rather than the AAA I was predicted. I wept for two weeks. The consequences were nil. My parents were delighted (they were/are of the 'whatever makes you happy, darling' school of parenting), I was accepted into my first choice of University, did well and now have an MSc and PhD. Why then do I feel a sense of failure and, yes, embarrassment at this time of year, every year when the press are full of stories of success. Why on earth would it bother me and make me feel a bit sad and queasy in 2020? It's silly, irrational and more than a bit pathetic.

Most tragically (and secretly) of all, I find myself comparing my marks to those of famous people for solace "well, David Miliband got 3 Bs and he seems pretty bright..."

To be clear, like many people in their 40s, I have experienced real loss and grief and other painful life stuff, so you'd think I would have acquired perspective or wisdom or something, but alas, no and this just keeps biting for some reason ...Does anyone relate or care to psycho-analyse, or is it a loud chorus of YABVU?

Rarely put grades on applications after I was about 25.

Still a bit pissed off that when I was 14 (ish - I think) end of year exams to sort into streams for maths. Missed one exam of two, only had capacity for 50% of marks. Teacher had the temerity to die in the summer holidays, so I didn't know who to complain to. Still wasn't last, but ended up in CSE rather than O level group.
Challenging marks and grades wasn't really a thing then.

I fails my Art GCSE (the whole year did!) because our art teacher didn't follow the syllabus. This was the first year of GCSE's in 1988. It still rankles.

@Akindelle

I was bereaved several months prior to taking my exams. I was severely depressed and attempted suicide. It was very difficult for me to concentrate and study. Unsurprisingly I didn’t get good grades. I later studied to postgraduate level and I’m clearly not thick, but I don’t mention my school grades to anyone. I suppose I do feel a bit ashamed, but also I feel like I have to justify why I did so poorly and it’s not a conversation I want to have.

Similar experience to me. My bereavement was during my exams though. Then I never recovered for my A levels. No surprise I got very poor grades and an N in the one I passed out in due to mental torment. Coupled with this, I went to a very poor school until 16. They basically prepared to CSE1 level, ie O level grade C hence I also had massive knowledge gaps to contend with for A level along with my depression.

I was regularly banging my head on the floor when the pain got too great. I had zero help or care. In fact quite the opposite from my mother. I know she was grieving her husband too. But this was no excuse. I was never at peace and suffered terribly.

I get you’re pissed off with B’s. I know now I could have got B’s in an ideal environment, more if I’d studied a lot. I think you need to do what you can to get over it. No good comes of raking up the past especially for something, which tbh is relatively insignificant in the scheme of things. No one failed you. You just underperformed on the day.

My dd is going into yr8. I was gobsmacked at the level of work she was getting in homeschooling. Very high. Higher than I was getting in the 5th year (year 11). Additionally she’s already learning how to revise, something I wasn’t taught until university! She isn’t going to suffer like I did. That’s a very good thing.

If it bothers you that much you could always retake them.

Yup I got 3 Bs at A level (close to 30 years ago). No appeals process. One of my subjects was my best (ironically not the one I teach now), I still can't get over the fact I was judged to be the same in all 3... I was head and shoulders in front in one of the subjects (particularly on the third subject). I'm nearly 50, it's ridiculous and I teach (and did a degree in) my second best subject (although most people who know me would say it was joint first). Am also gutted that my Bs from then really would be As today and I could potentially have gone to Oxbridge... ah well... if my uncle had been a woman he would have been my aunt territory.

We can join a little club OP. I was predicted AAA and got BBC. I have felt out of sorts every A Level results day since, for a similar number of years. I think it’s because it feels like a crucible-moment in your life, whether it was or not. I got into my second choice uni - which by then I wanted more, I’d changed my mind about whether uni in London would suit me. I know more or less how it happened - the teacher for 2 of my 3 subjects had a breakdown. I realised towards the end I was in the shit on those subjects (not well enough taught, notes all over the place, some subjects left out) and assumed I could get by on less revision for subject 3 because my marks were always so high, while I tried to pull the first two subjects back. But God, it stings.

I don't like thinking about my a levels. I don't care anymore about what grades I got.
On the morning of one of my exams, we were waiting outside of the exam hall, when we were all called into a separate room. Our teachers were there looking serious and told us they had some tragic news.
Just outside of the college, one of our course mates had just been run over by a lorry as she was crossing the road on the way to the exam. Killed at the scene. They had to share the news with everyone because some people from the same exam had witnessed the incident. We all still had to do the exam, with a short delay to process the information.
Hate thinking about my exam results to this day. Her face just pops into my head every time.

A levels back in the day were much harder, so I heard- 'A' was the highest grade , plus they were non modular.
I agree...I went into a devastated decline at a ''B'' grade for biology... also many years ago. Now it really does seem like tiny violin territory, but BBB back then would possibly be like AAA* now?

I feel the same! I also have a PhD....my A Level results annoy me intensely. I know there's lot of posters here saying it doesn't matter and nobody has ever asked, but I did my A Levels nearly 20 years ago and was asked for copies of the certificates for a job I got less than 5 years ago....my degree and doctorate were apparently not enough!

OP I have the same issues. I was really ill during my sixth form years. My school was useless. I was told not to mention it on uni applications. Predicted 3 As got 3 Bs. Missed out on a place at Oxford. Logically, I know 3Bs was good given everything that happened, but I get angry that no one: not my parents, teachers fought for me. I was told to get on with it.

I have done really well professionally, but I still have the same feelings each year.

I totally understand. I was predicted 5A's and got ACCCD. I was devastated and the school still wanted to show me off as I had one of the better sets of results. It still stings a bit now 20 years later despite me having a degree in a very difficult subject, an MSc and a successful professional job in a senior position. Having said that I also know it doesn't matter any more - the key was that it was enough to get me into university and it's what I've done since then that matters. You need to focus on what you have achieved, not on what you didn't.

@CatbearAmo

I don't like thinking about my a levels. I don't care anymore about what grades I got. On the morning of one of my exams, we were waiting outside of the exam hall, when we were all called into a separate room. Our teachers were there looking serious and told us they had some tragic news. Just outside of the college, one of our course mates had just been run over by a lorry as she was crossing the road on the way to the exam. Killed at the scene. They had to share the news with everyone because some people from the same exam had witnessed the incident. We all still had to do the exam, with a short delay to process the information. Hate thinking about my exam results to this day. Her face just pops into my head every time.

Oh that is appalling.

To have to sit an exam after witnessing such a thing with a known fellow student would be ghastly.

No wonder you associate 'A' levels with this tragedy.

We saw the aftermath of a fatal accident coming out of school ironically TWO fatal accidents there, and it really does affect one. {Black Horse, Richmond, Artic lorries turning left from Queen's Road.

I still pass where the accidents took place, and even though it seems so peaceful now, always remember.

I'm (still) cross with my parents for not encouraging me to work harder

At that age it's not your parents responsibility to encourage you to study harder. It was all up to you.

In the past, far fewer people took A levels; they were not required for so many things; and even universities tended to set lower conditional offers. And grades overall tended to be lower. There has been some grade inflation over the years, but also what could be called 'grade demand inflation' so overall exam pressures are higher for more people - but one cannot compare grades in the past with grades now. I think we all have insecurities about past disappointments and perceived humiliations - in my case, it tends to be about situations where I was criticized for my physical clumsiness; in a friend's case, it's about being bullied for being 'fat'. It's fairly normal to have such insecurities; but obviously no one's going to worry about your school exam grades at this stage!

@GoneEffinCrazy

I'm (still) cross with my parents for not encouraging me to work harder

At that age it's not your parents responsibility to encourage you to study harder. It was all up to you.

I agree. It is a parent’s responsibility to ensure you have the correct learning environment and to have laid the foundations before getting to yr10/11.

@FippertyGibbett

If it bothers you that much you could always retake them.

Oh can you imagine! 😂 All that revision-I don't think my head could retain all that info these days.

I did my A Levels nearly 20 years ago and was asked for copies of the certificates for a job I got less than 5 years ago....my degree and doctorate were apparently not enough!

I think the employers just wanted proof that it was indeed you, as there have been a few high-profile scandals over the years of people faking their qualifications. or even their identity. And, because presumably not every one of their employees has a degree or a doctorate, they may have a blanket rule about everyone providing A level certificates.

I got BBB in the early 1980s and it got me into Medical school.

I went to a high achieving catholic school. Thirty years ago BBB was a top grade and would guarantee you a place in the top universities. Some of the brightest girls in my year got three B grades.
Anyone who achieved 3A’s was almost genius level in those days
I don’t care what anyone says A levels were definitely harder thirty years ago.

To be honest 3Bs 25 years ago was awesome

^^ This. I'm slightly older than you and got ABB and got the second best results in the school. I was slightly miffed that I didn't get an A in maths but if I'm honest I didn't really apply myself and blamed the poor teaching from one of the teachers, who to be honest was appalling.

A*s didn't exist then and you didn't see many people who got several As either. In our school there were twin boys in the year above who both got 4As and they made the main newspaper in the city because it was virtually unheard of outside private or grammar schools. They both went to Cambridge to study medicine.

I could have gone to anywhere except Oxford or Cambridge with those grades but to the horror of everyone didn't go to university as an 18 YO because I couldn't be arsed and was fed up with studying.

But it worked out well because I got a job in the same place that I'm still now and I now have a first in chemistry that I did as day release and several professional qualifications, plus the holy grail of a secure reasonably well paid job with an easily manageable workload.

People deny that there's been grade inflation, but the stats don't lie. I dont' believe today's 18-21 YOs are massively more intelligent or work harder than older people did, yet when I got a first, about 10% of people did, now it's more like a third of students. Similar for A levels, the percentage of students getting top grades is far higher.

I always feel the same with my BBB.
I was always smart but not dazzlingly so at school (mostly because I was a bit bored and didn’t see the point in making effort until it was the real exams/coursework), got a string of A* and prizes in my GCSES after pulling out all the stops at the last minute.
Then I moved from one very academic school to one which was even more so for sixth form, largely admitted on the basis that I would ‘give them’ a lot of top grades. This was the first year of AS Levels and one of them wasn’t taught v well as it was a non traditional subject and the teacher didn’t follow the syllabus correctly, ended up with a C in that and ABBC overall. The next year for the A Levels I got BBB, when I really could have got straight As... I’m always disappointed about this even now, as I could have done more but I was very bored of school, all courses I applied for (at good RGs) gave me a lower grade offer than what they’d advertised (so they said BBB but gave me an offer for BCC for example) so I didn’t motivate myself, was worn out after doing GCSEs and AS levels in consecutive years on top of studying music which took up a LOT of time, discovering going out, a boyfriend and a part time job. I was also a put off by the super academic atmosphere of my school which was very much geared towards applying to Oxbridge and anything less than top marks you were considered mediocre. I was the first person to break their streak of a full suite of A grades in Music 10 years or something, oh the shame
I got the lowest grades of everyone in my friendship group and the school was disapproving about the grades, but in retrospect I have realised that wasn’t a very normal perspective, and certainly three Bs in 2002 wasn’t to be sniffed at.
As PPs have mentioned, grades are no longer even on my CV, but I always wish I’d done better. A few times I’ve mentioned my grades and people seem surprised and have said they would have assumed I was a straight A type So don’t know what that says about me!

Too much perfection is not a good thing. Whether it's school grades or looks, whatever it is. Sometimes stuff doesn't go the way we want it to. For me, the ability of a person to sensibly deal with things that don't go the way they want them to is a better measure of someone than their perfect grades.

I didn't even do A levels and got a shit grades in my very few O' levels (3 Cs and a B) but love the fact I now have a PhD (returned to study in my 20s).

Wear your not-so-perfect grades as a badge of honour.

I wish I had appealed my D in history,

In 1992 I got

B in English
E in Law
E in History

Hadn’t worked, was shocked by this so retook History and Law and did Politics and Government in one year, really worked hard, got

A in politics
A in Law

but still only a D in History

At the time I was a pleased with the unexpected As I didn’t want to rock the boat but often wonder if there was an error there!

Your fine and did so well back then! Don't beat yourself up over something you can't change. A levels were hard back then.
I only did O levels and my A in English lit and language are my only academic achievements ( 1981) I wanted to do A levels but my parents said no and I had to find a job.
Even my son who struggled at school managed to get more GCSEs then me!
I do understand how you feel but you went to further education and did well : many people never had the chance to do any of that. I wished I was good at maths as I do struggle with measuring and numbers in general . I did a course at night school a few years ago and passed ' entry level' but I found it so hard! I feel embarrassed by how bad I am at so many things. Your clearly very bright!
What you achieved was amazing.

Whenever I read those news stories about the latest brainiacs to have conquered Year 12 with brilliant results, I feel a bit shivery and sad for them. Will they be able to maintain their awesomeness?

I was one of those kids; in 1984 I was one of the top HSC students in NSW, with my pick of uni courses. Had I been in the UK I could have swanned off to Oxbridge. My school in Sydney was so proud of me, and I was written up in the local paper. But I've spent my adult life as an underachiever, and don't quite know why. Not because of a deficit of brains and persistence. Lack of guidance post-school, perhaps. Lack of the sort of personality that attracts collaborators and mentors.

It's interesting and oddly comforting to read about OP's and PPs' niggles and regrets. To those of you who were dudded at age 16 or 18 yet achieved academic success anyway -- good on you, because you have definitely proved your worth. You give practical meaning to the warning "Don't peak in high school". You've saved the best for a little later in life, when your work really means something.

For the early-peak imposters like myself -- well, let us hope we can catch a second wind. I still kid myself that I'm capable of a Masters.