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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what age you moved out

76 replies

thedaywewillremeber · 24/08/2020 22:22

I moved out at 18 in to a house share. I’ve never been back home since. My adult ds’s still live with though I’ve started talking to them about their plans to move out. I know it’s a lot more difficult these days.

OP posts:
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 24/08/2020 23:39

Just before I turned 17. Dd is now 21 and lives with a family member near her uni. Ds1 is about to move out into halls (could have stayed at home and commuted, but wants to try out the whole “adulting” thing). Ds2 is only 13, but he’s more of a home body so I’m guessing he’ll be around for a good few years yet.

naemates · 24/08/2020 23:40

I was 24. It was just me and my dad, and I would probably have stayed forever/until I met DH if I hadn't moved away for work

GoldenPlover · 24/08/2020 23:41

22

I did move into halls and then a student house at uni at 18 for 2 years but was always back and forth for the holidays, then my 3rd year I moved home and commuted to uni.

I then moved out for good at 22 into a house me and my now DH bought.

Happyspud · 25/08/2020 00:18

Boarding school at 11, university in another city at 17, Asia alone at 21.

seayork2020 · 25/08/2020 00:41

21 I think or there about, if it works having our son (nearly 13 now) live at home when he is older he can we have not really thought about it

ladypete · 25/08/2020 00:43

26 and moved into my own flat.

I did occasionally spend months away from the family home at a time due to work, and for the last 3 years or so had a completely opposite schedule to my family so it never felt crowded.

EggyPegg · 25/08/2020 01:01

19 (a month off 20) to move in with boyfriend (now DH) 100 miles away, in a city neither of us had ever even visited until a few months before (he got a job there). That was 18 years ago. I've never moved back and have stayed within 15 miles of that city.

I had a chaotic upbringing, and we moved house and area (sometimes hundreds of miles) every six months to 2 years (not military). I started my 9th and final school at 12. I have spent longer in this 15 mile radius than I ever spent anywhere as a child. I want to give my children the stability that I didn't have, and the opportunity to go to the same school from start to finish. I envy posters that went to boarding school. I begged to go. I just wanted the stability whilst my mother could flit as she liked (but that would have been in my best interest so wasn't even an option)
Can't imagine what that must have been like though @FenellaMaxwell. You must have felt so displaced.

Alderaan · 25/08/2020 01:08

The day after my 16th birthday. Not by choice

MadisonAvenue · 25/08/2020 01:11

21, when we bought a new build flat.

I went back home for 6 months when I was 24. We’d put the flat up for sale thinking that it’d take months to sell (the one downstairs had been for sale for three years!) and the plan was that we would save while waiting but it sold even before the estate agent board had gone up. We both moved back in with our parents so that we could save a bigger deposit and take our time to find the perfect home.

Terrace58 · 25/08/2020 01:15

I came back from university for holidays and some summers. Then I stayed with my parents for about a week between when my lease at univ ended and when I could move into my new place in a new city for work.

bananabeachhouse · 25/08/2020 01:16

I left at 16 to move in with my now-husband. Never went back, probably never will.

Deadringer · 25/08/2020 01:17

Moved out when i got married at 23. That was the norm where i lived in the late 80s, everyone i know only moved out when they got married, though most of them were a couple of years older than me.

HeeeeyDuggee · 25/08/2020 01:18

16

CustardySergeant · 25/08/2020 01:19

16 to live alone. That was 50 years ago. My parents and I loathed each other. My mother would be 100 if she was still alive, she only died last year, I swear she was trying to outlive me.

aLilNonnyMouse · 25/08/2020 01:23

Moved out at 17 during my last year of 6th form as my parents split up. Both went to live with (their own) family as the house got repossessed. Never went back as there was nowhere to go back to.

Was a baptism of fire, in a single week I went from normal teenager at home to sitting in an empty studio flat wondering what the hell happened.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 25/08/2020 01:24

I'd just turned 19 and was going to Uni. Went home for one summer after that I think, then went travelling in the summer breaks. I moved to London after graduating (NI in the early 90s wasn't terribly appealing to me), and have never lived closer than 300 miles away from my folks since (am now on other side of the world). My son is now the same age I was on leaving home, and as most kids here don't move out for uni, he will be at home for a while yet!

Pesimistic · 25/08/2020 01:25

20

UtMalumPluvia · 25/08/2020 01:34

My brother was 19.
My sister was 18
And youngest brother 18z

BitOfFun · 25/08/2020 01:35

@aLilNonnyMouse, that sounds really tough!

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I recognise that I was lucky to take the 18-to-university route, then moved cities on graduation.

The housing and job situation is a lot harder for this generation though. I have two adult DDs, and again, I'm lucky. My elder daughter has a graduate job in London and is renting a flat with her boyfriend, and the younger one is happy and settled in supported accommodation (she has LDs). I'm relieved they don't have their childhood home as their base, as I'm ill and won't be around forever.

Chienloup · 25/08/2020 01:37

18 for good. I'm 42 now.

Bloodybridget · 25/08/2020 01:42

22, but I was at college in London where my family lived until I was 20, and then was mostly away working until I moved out properly.

worcestersauce29 · 25/08/2020 01:43

18 for college (would be called uni now) I did return for holidays but never permanently. Lived in shared places -some provided with job. I bought my first home at 22 back in the day when this was an option.

AdoraBell · 25/08/2020 01:49
  1. Couldn’t wait to get away.
Charlottejade89 · 25/08/2020 01:51

26, when I went back to education and moved away for uni into a house share. We lived in an expensive area to live on your own and I get on well with my mum so I preferred to pay her rent than pay a fortune for a shitty bedsit just for the sake of moving out

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 25/08/2020 01:52

Kicked out at 18 for telling my mum to fuck off (she was warning me that my married lover was, well, married). I went to live with my grandmother for a bit then moved into a house with married lover who was divorced by then. I believed him when he told me he was separated- more fool me. My DS still lives at home at 20.