Should I apologise to my mother

[Blackpool2]

Today my DD gave birth to her third child and we are delighted to welcome a little girl after two boys. My SIL rang with the news and that she is to be called Elsie. Whilst not my favourite name in the world I duly cooed over the name and said how lovely it was. I rang my mother with the news and she reacted alarmingly at the chosen name exclaiming how horrible and old fashioned it was and that she hated it. I'm afraid I lost it a bit and acted rather childishly telling her that she was being selfish and that her opinion was irrelevant and putting the phone down on her. Now I feel a bit guilty and wonder if i should ring to apologise as it is a shame to have upset at a happy event. I do want her to realise that she is being v selfish and must not on any account say anything to DD

It seems you both over-reacted. She should have kept her thoughts to herself, or at least limited it to "oh, well, not by favourite name, but hey ho". You should not have lost the plot at her. Assuming she is otherwise normal and there is no backstory, I would ring an apologise, but mention she's not to say anything to DD.

Elsie is a fab name by the way :)

I love the name Elsie

No one should have opinions on baby names. If they are not ridiculous like grapefruit ect. The only opinion should be how wonderful the name is!

Yes phone and apologise but stress you don’t want her to say anything about the name to your dd. Maybe say you’re sorry and you overreacted but because you were thinking how upset your dd would be if she heard what your mother had said and you were acting out of a desire to protect your daughter from being offended. But your daughter will probably be fine about it. We called my daughter Megan 27 years ago and my aunt told me she didn’t like the name and it was old fashioned and we should chose a different name. We just shrugged it off and loved the name and still do and now it’s a very popular name and I don’t think it sounds old fashioned at all. We really weren’t bothered about my aunt’s reaction and thought it said more about her being from a different generation to us than it did about whether it was a nice name or not. Don’t take it to heart too much. It’ll probably get abbreviated to something else anyway!

I think you should ring her, but I think you already know that. It does seem a shame to have upset right now to the point of putting the phone down on her. People do have opinions on names, but if your daughter likes it enough it’s not the end of the world.

I agree with your mother in that I think it's a horrible, old fashioned name - however, not my child so not my business!
While I understand your reaction, I think it probably was a bit of an over reaction - ring your mum & apologise for how you said it, but ultimately she needs to keep that opinion to herself.

Yes, definitely call her.

Yes!! It must have been a shock... I would be shocked by Doris or something!!

She was just shocked.

No don't call her that was an awful thing for her to do. You were sticking up for your daughter and grandchild.

If she didn't like the name she she have kept that to herself. She can stew on it now.

Names are personal to parents.

Yes, I would probably apologise, but she was also very rude. FWIW, my late DGM was awful about every baby name her DGC chose. I honestly don't know why. She wasn't generally a nasty person, but she had strong, negative opinions on every name we chose! We just smiled and nodded and let her get on with it, but maybe if it was my mother saying it about my DGC, I might not have been so calm!

I fail to see why you should apologise for being upset about her reaction. She was being a total cow. Perhaps apologise for immaturely slamming the phone down, but for being upset with her hateful comments? Nope.

She was incredibly rude and unkind.

Congratulations and for what it's worth, I think it's a lovely name.

I hope your mum apologises.

Yes, I think that you should. It was just her initial reaction. Old fashioned names seem to be enjoying a resurgence, but they will always seem old fashioned to someone who has previously encountered the same trend before. She blurted it out, bit call back, apologize and explain how you were just worried about anyone upsetting your dd.

No, I wouldn’t call to apologise. But I would definitely tell her to watch her mouth in front of your DD and not upset her just because she doesn’t like the name.

Elsie is lovely by the way.

The name Elsie is back in vogue isn’t it? Not that that really matters. The fact is your mum should have just been delighted to have a healthy daughter and kept her disdain for the name low key. She should be apologising not you.

I'm of an age to be a mother to most MN mothers of young children "Elsie" wasn't my mother's generation, it was my grandmother's generation. I'd struggle to frame my face into the appropriate expression and say the words "that's a lovely name". Whereas Elizabeth, Jane, Ann, Susan and all the popular names of my generation I'd have no problem lying about.

How old is your DM if you don't mind me asking? I find usually the older people get the more their filters slip
If shes not going to say anything mean to your daughter then I wouldn't want you to fall out with your mum. Don't apologise but don't hold resentment IYKWIM. Also...congradulations!

I love the name Elsie.
Yes it reminds me of an old lady I used to know, but names come back in fashion.