Sick of people moaning about their jobs

[Propercrimboselecta]

Unless they have a good reason, like manager is bullying them, job is emotionally taxing, hours are totally horrendous (e.g. a nurse working nights on ICU), I am so sick of people moaning about their jobs to us. DH has been made redundant because covid has meant the company he worked for are probably going to go under in the next few months, my work has also been severely impacted.

But the amount of people moaning to us that 'their bonus wasn't big enough' (they aren't on commission and get a good basic salary, no bonuses promised) or other trivial things....I find it so insensitive. The last person that did it, I did snap and tell her to be grateful she has a job in the current climate, particularly one that is well paid as if she were to lose it she would be classed as unskilled and there are a lot of 'unskilled' workers currently jobless and fighting to fill the same vacancies.

AIBU? I just wish people would read the room.

Lots have unwanted unexpected change, lower pay rises and may find life tougher than they expected.
Others gave health issues that meant lockdown was welcomed.
I’m not complaining , that is just life.
No one is trying to rub it in, we all stuff to deal with

I can see both sides. My team and I earn good basic salaries but have high targets that result in a twice yearly bonus. Bonuses are the sole reason any of us do this type of job. I’ve had this bonus every year for the last 5 years except for this year as we didn’t hit target due to the pandemic. This now means our affordability when we buy our first house next year will be a lot lower as my bonus is usually about £20k.

However, I keep reiterating to my team that we’re incredibly lucky to still have jobs and work somewhere that has money in the bank and hasn’t needed to and won’t need to furlough anyone or make redundancies.

It must be awful for people who aren’t as fortunate as we have been throughout this

So because your DH was made redundant everybody needs to be grateful? Sorry, it doesn't work like that, people are allowed to have their own gripes. You don't need to pit other people's lives against your own.

I can see both sides. It's incredibly insensitive of someone to complain that their bonus wasn't big enough to someone who'd just lost their job. That's really a social faux pax tbh.
On the other hand people are allowed to chat about work and it doesn't always have to be positive.

YABU to expect people not to moan about jobs generally

YANBU to expect those who know about your situation to have more tact that to moan about their job to you.

And generally at the moment moaning about bonuses not being big enough is extremely thoughtless and self centred

I don't think the OP was saying everyone has to be grateful for having their jobs. I have been made redundant like OP's husband, have applied for 30 jobs which I have had one interview - most jobs I have applied for are getting between 70-250 plus applicants.

It is not easy being made redundant having worked for 37years with a mortgage/rent and bills to be paid. I totally see why the OP feels the way she does. If you have a job you should be grateful and not be whining if your benefits within the job have been cut. Be kind and thankful

Sorry but YABU. I feel sorry for your situation but everybody has their own problems that are important to them. I used to feel hurt and take it personally if anybody moaned to me about their parents - as I no longer have any. But I gradually realised that all I was doing was turning more bitter as the years went on. Now I take a deep breath and remind myself that it's not about me.

I completely agree @Propercrimboselecta. I've been on both sides, furloughed then accepted a pay cut to work 70hr+ weeks with reduced notice period.

I will take the meagre job security over no work.... The stress of potentially not being able to provide is significantly worse than the stress of being at work. if you have little support, or are the main earner it's horrendous!
However- it can be easy to overlook, especially if they've not been in precarious situation before. You're not unreasonable to be fed up but you are unreasonable to snap. Either accept it's a venting session on both sides, joke that you'd love their hours or have a heart to heart on how stressed you are about potentially losing what you have.

I can see both sides.
I was made redundant in July, that was shit. It really knocked my confidence.
My husbands job is incredibly stressful, and yes he’s well paid, but he’s still allowed to complain about his job.

My company paid everyone 100% of their wages during furlough, and has brought everyone back with no redundancies.

People are still moaning because there isn't going to be a bonus this year (though we are getting two next year, all being well).

Honestly, I despair!

I dont know OP.

Due to covid we have lots of people on projects, recruitment freeze, etc and we are expected to work much much harder on the same pay. People are struggling because is no end in sight and no break or whatever people normally do to relax. I am grateful to have a job but I've gone from enjoying it to not enjoying it and working much longer hours. I do recognise that people have it worse but that doesn't really register when I'm awake at 3am because I've been working til 10 and cant switch off.

I do agree I wouldn't moan to someone who had just lost their job though. I think I have a right to moan but not to someone who has it worse

It doesn't sound like you expect others to be grateful, more that they might be more considerate with what they choose to burden you with. You're not being unreasonable.

A friend was moaning that they weren't receiving their bonus this year, and people were supportive, despite knowing she is still in a far better position than them. Then it transpired her bonus has not been cancelled, it's simply been delayed and will be paid in a more tax efficient way, so she'll receive more money. When others are expecting redundancy by Christmas, she's expecting a bumper pay packet.

It's tough on both sides. Unfortunately the number of redundancies in my organisation means the few people left are doing way more work than they can cope with. This is leading to terrible burn out even if they are grateful still to have a job.

It's all a bit of mess out there at the moment

Yes sorry I should have been clearer - sick of people moaning about their jobs to DH, who has lost his and he is the main breadwinner in our home.

@Turnedouttoes one person I am thinking of does back office admin in a hotel, and is moaning that she may not get a big bonus this year. Nowhere in her terms of employment does it state that she will even get bonuses - the owners of the hotel are just nice, and gives her them two or three times a year. She gets paid more than me and I have to have a degree for my work. She really doesn't realise just how lucky she is to have found such a ridiculously generous employer when it comes to her basic wage. I would sympathise more if she had difficult targets to meet.

She moans to us about 3 times a week, and knows full well our situation.

It's tough on both sides. Unfortunately the number of redundancies in my organisation means the few people left are doing way more work than they can cope with. This is leading to terrible burn out even if they are grateful still to have a job.

This has happened to friends of ours. Colleagues have been made redundant, those left to do all the work have burnt out and been signed off with stress. It's very difficult.

I think you can moan, but just be sensitive to your audience. I’m lucky - wfh, and job secure, but I still have days when I’m utterly miserable due to things going on with the work I’m doing. Obviously if I was in your company I would be sensitive to your situation and avoid moaning about work.

Yeah I'm feeling a bit the same OP. Dp (main breadwinner and on a good salary) got made redundant at start of covid. We have been basically living on savings which have now pretty much run dry. Family member going on and on about how her DH had to take a 20% pay cut from his 100k job and wont be getting a bonus. Then books a weeks holiday costing several thousands. This was all whilst I was telling them that we are on our arse now and that unless Dp finds a job within the next 6 weeks we will be having to put the house on the market and majorly downsize.

Just self centred and insensitive.

Ps. This family member also invited me out for a coffee last week for a catch up. Asked what I wanted and went up to the counter and ordered. Came and sat back down with my coffee and requested the £2.50 for it

It's just what they are like but it does grate on me sometimes.

@Turnedouttoes
May I ask you what job you do to earn such a bonus? Especially if you say this is the one of the reasons you do the job

YABU. It’s nobody’s fault your DH has been made redundant, and as such they shouldn’t have to tiptoe around you.

You were very rude to snap and really nasty in your comment. This is your problem, nobody else’s.

I mean about my job. Its low paid and very stressful.

And what's a bonus never had one of those

@echodot sure, I work for a big advertising agency in new business. It’s basically my job to win the agency new clients

I think you should just say to anyone complaining "due to our current circumstances I really cant listen to you on this subject. Did you see strictly last night?"

premiumshoes Mon 24-Aug-20 20:06:48
So because your DH was made redundant everybody needs to be grateful? Sorry, it doesn't work like that, people are allowed to have their own gripes. You don't need to pit other people's lives against your own.

No, they don't. But bloody hell, no matter how bad your job is you don't bitch and moan about it to someone who would swap with you in a heartbeat. That's just cruel and unfeeling.

I would say most people who have been working throughout lockdown are exhausted and fed up and in need of a bit of a moan, but it's not a lot to ask to show a bit of sensitivity to someone who has lost their job. Sheesh!

OP she sounds incredibly insensitive given your situation

I know a few people who have been furloughed and may not be able to return to their jobs. It'd feel so insensitive moaning to them about work stress no matter how tough things feel at work.

I think a bit of kindness and empathy is what we need just now. Sounds like your family member was lacking in that too @Ivenamechanged13

YANBU, even before covid there's nothing more dull than listening to a friend complain about their job (that I don't actually understand) or bitch about their colleagues (who I've never met and probably never will). I have two friends who do this for literally hours on end, drives me up the wall, I grit my teeth and listen, but privately I'm thinking "I spend 40 odd hours at my own job, I don't need a blow by blow account of yours as well"