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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do I look weird on camera???

127 replies

Fruity1112 · 24/08/2020 19:29

Hello,
I'm mid 20s. My boyfriend is extremely photogenic, like very! Every photo looks like him.
Me? Not so much.

It's like the camera distorts my face. I think I look lovely in the mirror and then someone takes a picture and my face looks all squashed and double chinny.

It happens so often that there is a joke in my friendship group about me being unphotogenic.

I havent thought about it until today when boyfriend jokingly filmed me tidying without me knowing and I was chatting to him. He showed me the video and I looked horrendous!!! My face was so round with a double chin, my makeup looked cake, my face once again looked squashed.

But I don't get it because in real life I'd say i'm fairly attractive. I don't get why i always have a massive double chin on camera as that double chin is not there when I look in the mirror and I am not overweight at all!

I'm just disappointed by the video as I didnt even know I was being filmed so that was me in ny natural state and I still look awful:(

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 24/08/2020 20:21

@TitianaTitsling

I'm sure I've read it's something to do with it's a reverse of of face we see in mirrors so not really us?
Yes, this.
Babyiwantabump · 24/08/2020 20:22

I have the same thing . OH is equally baffled as he doesn’t understand how I look totally different in a photo to what he actually sees . I suppose it just happens to some people . Like a PP I do look normal in professional photos though so I have no idea why I look so awful in normal photos !

VettiyaIruken · 24/08/2020 20:23

How you look on camera is how you actually look.
When you look in the mirror you're seeing you reversed and from limited angles.
What you see in photos and videos is what other people see.
The reason it looks weird to you is not because you don't look good. It's because it's different to what you see in the mirror. Not only the 'wrong' way round but distorted too. The tip of your nose is closer to the mirror than your eyes for example.

It's not that the camera is wrong. It's that the camera is right and the mirror is wrong but the you that you see and that you are familiar with is the mirror you.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 24/08/2020 20:24

I've just checked in the mirror and it turns out I AM a grinning imbecile! Sad

VettiyaIruken · 24/08/2020 20:26

Meant to add - people are also wrong. Your view of someone's appearance is affected by who that person is. That's why a plain person who you get to know as a truly wonderful friend somehow gains attractiveness and a drop dead gorgeous total arsehole starts to look quite rough.

hastingsmua1 · 24/08/2020 20:28

Maybe it’s to do with how you move your face whilst speaking

I’m just guessing here, but maybe you have a bit of a weak or recessed chin - which isn’t prominent in a neutral expression in front of the mirror, but is as you begin to move you face whilst speaking or from different angles?

Fruity1112 · 24/08/2020 20:28

@VettiyaIruken how come my boyfriend says I don't look like the photos then? Or is he just being polite Confused i'm not saying you're wrong, just curious Grin

OP posts:
DogInATent · 24/08/2020 20:29

Use a longer lens. On a proper camera.

Phone camera are terrible for portraits, the focal length of the lens is too short and pinch-zooming makes no difference to this. They exaggerate things that are closer to them.

Also, you will be subconsciously posing for yourself when looking at the mirror. Photographed/videoed candidly you won't be holding the same pose. Photographed when you are aware of being photographed you don't get the same feedback you do when looking in mirror, so you don't hold quite the same pose. Professional photographers get results not just because they know how to use the camera and lights, but because they know how to direct you into the best poses.

Fruity1112 · 24/08/2020 20:30

Looks like once life is a bit more normal, I will have to seek tips from a professional about where i'm going wrong

OP posts:
VettiyaIruken · 24/08/2020 20:33

[quote Fruity1112]@VettiyaIruken how come my boyfriend says I don't look like the photos then? Or is he just being polite Confused i'm not saying you're wrong, just curious Grin[/quote]
I added another post cos I cut myself off halfway through my waffle.
He sees everything that is lovely about you, everything that makes you beautiful to him, not limited to your physical appearance.

That's my theory anyway

Based on quite a few experiences of cor he's gorgeous oh my what an arsehole good grief he's a total twat oh my how did I not notice his wonky teeth, bad skin and dead eyes crikey he's a bit of a minger ... 😁

Bluntness100 · 24/08/2020 20:33

The thing is has anyone ever looked at a photo of someone else and thought it doesn’t look like that person?

We’ve all seen unflattering photos. But for most, we never look at a photo and think it doesn’t look like the person or they look like someone else. But we think it about ourselves.

It’s like logically we tell ourselves rhe photo doesn’t look like us and we are not photogenic but have never actually met another human that applies to.

I think it’s because we see one image in the mirror when it’s reflected back but a totally different one in the photo, and we struggle to comprehend we look like that.

And I say that as someone who also thinks I’m deeply unphotogenic.

InventedthePostIt · 24/08/2020 20:37

Same and also have a really photogenic husband. He once told me that I'm like looking at a nice view or landscape and that you can't catch me on a photo. Made the mistake of choosing a natural wedding photographer and I'm pulling the weirdest faces on all of them. I really need to be posed and get a flattering angle.

Mummadeeze · 24/08/2020 20:44

I have watched a lot of Next Top Model. It doesn’t always happen naturally. You need to practice. Take lots of photos of yourself practicing different smiles, chin angles, stick your chin out a bit, keep your neck long, make sure the camera is looking down on you a bit, never let anyone take a photo from underneath. As vain as it sounds I have secretly practiced and I never have a bad photo taken now. As soon as I know my photo is being taken, I get my head tilt in the exact right position, do the right smile that suits me, open my eyes wide etc. There is an art to it honestly!

Bluntness100 · 24/08/2020 20:45

When you look in the mirror you're seeing you reversed and from limited angles.What you see in photos and videos is what other people see

Agree, and that’s why you never see a photo of someone else that doesn’t look like them, unless it’s a very bad shot. Because you are used to seeing them the way the camera sees them. So the image is for us accurate.

However we personally see the mirror view of ourselves only. Which is a reverse of the camera and that is what every one else sees

RealMermaid · 24/08/2020 20:46

The thing is, when you see people in lovely photos in magazines or on social media... They are almost always ACTIVELY POSING. If you don't actively pose as well, you will never look as good. Even "natural" shots - people know a camera is around so they are thinking about how they stand, move, hold their face etc. If you want to take good photos, then when someone gets a camera out you need to: lift your chin (sounds like you naturally drop your chin which is why those double chins are popping up out of nowhere), shoulders back and down, ideally turn your torso slightly so the camera has a three quarter angle of you, which is the most attractive. Smile however is most flattering to you (teeth or no teeth). Tipping your head slightly to one side will pick out cheekbones more. You can take a good photo if you do that kind of stuff, but if you don't then you need a good photographer who will pick the right angles for you, and it sounds like you don't have one of those!

Sasuma · 24/08/2020 20:48

A photo is how you looked for a split second and if in that split second you weren’t looking your best, it will show and you will notice it on yourself - a good example would be if you were about to blink or speak and your face will look a bit distorted. With the mirror you will be looking at yourself for seconds or minutes so will be moving your face/seeing yourself at different angles etc so I’d say you get a more realistic idea of what you look like in real life to other people - ie a real life moving face with expressions.

The80sweregreat · 24/08/2020 20:53

Not photogenic and never have been!
I feel your pain ( I'm sure your beautiful, it's the camera not you!)
I keep away from them.

PlatinumBrunette · 24/08/2020 21:03

Cameras - both film and still - flatten your features. If your bone structure is 'pointy', for want of a better word, you look OK. If you have a flat face (I do, apparently!) you look hideous in a photo or video.

DH is pointy, he's photogenic. I am not, but I have some professional pics that look OKish.

Anyone on TV etc, is much thinner, and more sharp-faced in real life than they appear on telly or photos.

Basically, it's down to bone structure vs horrible camera lens vs distance. I look so much better if someone takes a photo of my from very, very far away!

Lizadork · 24/08/2020 21:05

I was actually pondering yesterday whether indentical twins had better self esteem about their looks because they really know what they look like having a real life mirror of sorts in their twin. I think i look good until i see a photo or video Confused

cantsaynotocake · 24/08/2020 21:07

OP I could have written this post 😂
It's so bizarre and I hate it as well. Like you I'm by no means full of myself but I look half decent in the mirror , photos are vile, especially side profile! I agree with the poster who mentioned Snapchat, always use it! X

justanotherneighinparadise · 24/08/2020 21:12

@PlatinumBrunette

Cameras - both film and still - flatten your features. If your bone structure is 'pointy', for want of a better word, you look OK. If you have a flat face (I do, apparently!) you look hideous in a photo or video.

DH is pointy, he's photogenic. I am not, but I have some professional pics that look OKish.

Anyone on TV etc, is much thinner, and more sharp-faced in real life than they appear on telly or photos.

Basically, it's down to bone structure vs horrible camera lens vs distance. I look so much better if someone takes a photo of my from very, very far away!

Completely agree. The same is said in the modelling world. The quirky unusual looking models look amazing in front of the camera. Us flat, round faced people with weak chins just don’t photograph well.
overthemountainsandfaraway · 24/08/2020 21:22

Just to pick up on one part of what you said - about your make up looking cakey in the video.

I agree with all the Pps about your face type etc and I'm sure you do look lovely in real life, and the video isn't true. But if your make up looked cakey on the video then it probably is. Maybe you could focus on toning that down a bit, trying out some other products, try some different techniques, use less foundation etc. Cakey make up ruins natural beauty - let yourself shine through.

Laiste · 24/08/2020 21:23

The majority of me are awful. Running joke with DH here too. He'll take a quick photo and then laugh at it and say 'what do you DO on camera - you look so bloody awful in photos!'.

I'd say about 1 in 10 photos of me are ok. There are a bare few where i look really pretty. When you think how many a professional photographer takes in one session to get the right shot of a gorgeous model it makes you feel better that the odd one or two shots taken of you isn't up to par.

The worst of all though is on the occasions when your lap top goes blank and you can see yourself and you're there with about a million chins staring miserably down your chest at the screen and you think jesus is that how i look all evening?!?! GrinGrin

orangenasturtium · 24/08/2020 21:24

The camera lies! @Fruity1112

It's something to do with bone structure and shadows and how your 3D face translates to a 2D photo.

I used to work in TV and got asked to do a screen test a few times. One time the director actually physically recoiled in horror at what the camera did to my face. I looked fairly attractive in real life at the time but on screen I look like a muppet who has been punched in the face. Sadly, with age, I now look like a muppet who has been punched in the face in real life too Grin

Another time, my boss explained the phenomen that "some people just look bloody awful on camera" (his words) to an entire seminar of citizen journalists in a war torn country whilst playing a video of me. Then to add insult to injury, the interpretor translated and pointed at the real me.

Casander · 24/08/2020 21:32

I'm the same (glad I'm not alone!) I don't think I'm too bad in real life (I'm no model but I'm perfectly normal looking!) but on photos I have a big round pie face and I always look about 5 stone heavier! it doesn't help that DS15 is a model and takes the most irritatingly good photos without trying. He definitely doesn't get it from meEnvy definitely envy