To ask how to be more confident with my career?

[BouquetBlooms]

I am a recent university graduate and finding it very, very difficult to find jobs let alone feel confident enough to apply for them. I have no confidence so when looking at jobs (even volunteering positions) I feel like I have nothing to offer. It is really holding me back and giving me really bad anxiety.

I know logically that I am capable. I did really well at university, I am hard worker, intelligent, etc. Yet I just feel so incompetent.

Everytime I browse for jobs I just end up feeling so demoralised and anxious. Yet when I was at university I felt so capable, confident and happy.

Did you see the careers service at the university before you left? If not, you probably still can. Get a copy of What Colour is Your Parachute? Let absolutely everyone know you are looking for work. It's a tough job market at the moment and going to get tougher. Word of mouth has got to be worth a shot.

And if you are in London and like children, consider signing up with Koru Kids. A lot of people are going to need after school nannies this autumn!

This sounds like a classic case of imposter syndrome to me, coupled with completely understandable anxiety about the job market at the moment. Be kind to yourself and remember that lots of people are in the same situation and its easy to have a bit of a wobble when you leave the familiarity of university and go into the "real world."

Have a Google for the Imposters Club podcasts (they're on Instagram and Twitter as well I think), I found them useful recently when I was feeling a bit rubbish about my career.

OP, apply for the jobs you want and then worry about the next stage (interview) etc) when it happens. I promise that when the call comes, adrenaline will help you to the next stage.

Who are you following on LinkedIn? I can send you a list of inspirational people (not just leaders) who give me an extra boost every day?

Also, download the podcast 'The Art of Speaking Up', it's got chapters on why women lack confidence going for jobs, promotions etc and how you can change that.

My son was the same; came out of uni and was struggling to find work and have the confidence for interviews. He found one eventually but
he was made redundant from his job after 18 months at Christmas last year, but he was lucky to get a new one just before lockdown and is now happy and doing ok. He has general anxiety disorder , but luckily his new employer is very good and helping him a lot ( wfh at the moment)
He would completely understand your anxieties and although it's not easy finding a job you just have to keep at it and do everything you can and try to ' sell ' yourself to any potential employer. It's not the same as uni at all but you have to keep positive. He had bad days and I thought he'd be unemployed for ages but he got there in the end. I know it's very hard though. He still has days when he thinks it is going badly. Uni doesn't prepare the young for the work place that well.
I hope you find something soon op.
Keep on looking and don't give up although I do know that it's tough.
You have a degree and that's a positive.
Good luck. I hope someone has some more advice for you on here.

Thank you for your replies, they have been really helpful. I really feel like I have lost sight of who I am which sounds drastic but I feel like I was a completely different person when I was at university.

I think the problems are:

• I fixate on every little details of the description of 'desired candidate'. They may ask for experience with something I have only done once a year or two ago and I think that's not enough so I don't apply for it. They also mention they want "brilliant" or "exceptional" candidates and I just can't bring myself to apply to them... I know it sounds silly but my confidence is so low I can't bring myself to. Also knowing my university lecturers who are my references will know what I apply to makes me overthink things...
• I get ahead of myself with thinking rather than just focussing on the current stage (as honeygirlz advised). I read the application and then think I need to do all the background reading and research now and ensure I can answer all the interview questions before I have even begun to put my written application together.

I know this all sounds immature. I am embarrassed with how much I am struggling and can't really speak to friends or family about it as it just seems illogical to them how much I am struggling as getting a job is something every adult has to do. I think it points to a wider confidence issue that has up until now been masked by the security and routine of school and university.

There's a saying that men apply for a job when they meet only 30% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.

Ignore all the 'brilliant', 'exceptional' hyperbole, I guarantee you most of the people who get the jobs are far from that.

You don't need to do loads of reading, focus on the top 3 or 4 skills/quals etc and focus on them in your CV/covering letter.

Honestly, if you actually meet the people who get these jobs you will realise most are no better than you.

Make a pact with yourself, apply to 5 jobs, sell yourself, and then leave the house to go shopping/running etc and don't think about you it. You'll come back, the world won't have ended and you can do it all again a couple of days later.

My first job, back in the 90s, was working for a not very nice man, but it was a great first job as it was a small business so I got to do everything (mostly badly). He did say something in the interview that has stuck with me though. "I want to hire a graduate because they've proved they can learn." Two years later I'd learnt many things and was off to something better (he was most displeased). Just tell yourself that every morning. "I am a catch because I know how to learn." I'd also recommend getting any job you can for the short term because that builds confidence - you may get more applications done with less time to do them in (works for me).

I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid but I totally understand your worries. One of my friends told me it sounds like I have Imposter syndrome with my job (which I love but keep wondering how I got the job and how I'm still here 3 years on!)
@polexiaaphrodesia, I am going to look for those Podcasts
Bouquet blooms, you sound as though you can identify your issues which is so insightful so hopefully you can overcome these obstacles one step at a time. I wish you all the best, if only confidence is something you could order from Amazon!

Lots of wisdom here but one thing is don’t worry about references - your new employer will almost certainly only contact them when you get the job.