Consumer with jealousy and bitterness

[lowblow]

Just that really.

I have so much anger, hate, vitriol and jealousy inside me.

I'm jealous of good things happening to other people (even if I already have them), I'm very judgmental and I'm angry a lot.

The jealousy is all consuming and can cause me to hate people.

I know that there is seriously something wrong with me and it's a horrible trait, if I don't get this sorted I risk losing the good things in my life. I want to change so much, I want to be a secure, relaxed and happy / kind person.

Has anyone ever felt like this and how did you change?

Title should be consumed - sorry!

that's sounds an awful way to live, have you tried therapy ? has it always been a problem or more recent ?

Hi OP, I got like this during menopause, but I also had a lot of unresolved issues at the time.

I ended up on AD and resolving the issues (to some extent) and I'm a much nicer, happier person now.

If I were you I'd discuss with your GP.

@romeolovedjulliet thank you for replying to me.

I think therapy is the way to go, I have had in the past but for an eating disorder (what I mess I am!) but didn't cover this. I think my feelings are getting more bitter the older I get but some things bring them out more!

I understand how you’re feeling OP.

I wouldn’t say I’m consumed by these feelings but I do find myself irrationally jealous of other people, I am judgemental, I am angry a lot of the time.

I think it’s a personality trait to be honest (which probably isn’t a great answer as is not something you can “treat” in the same way as say a hormonal problem). My dad is this way too, and he’s got worse with age.

I can’t control it in the moment but I can reflect and understand that there’s no real basis or gain from these feelings and it’s only hurting me to dwell on others or to be angry about something that’s not really worth the energy.

I have tried to take a minute - like a time out - which helps. I also try to acknowledge these feelings when they happen. I think having some insight into your negative behaviour is a positive place to be. It would be much more concerning if you didn’t see anything wrong with how you were feeling or behaving.

Not sure what else I can offer other than you’re not alone in feeling this way, if that helps at all.

Talk to your GP. Medication might help address your mood.

Try some online CBT, like MoodGym. Try mindfulness exercises.

Please ask for help, you don't have to be so unhappy.

I've felt like you OP, I hated everyone, my DH, my friends, my colleagues. I wanted to leave my husband, I was continuously cancelling plans with friends and avoided all work events.

I eventually spoke with my GP, I spent six months on AD's and came out the other side a different person. Speak to someone OP, it's not a nice way to live.

Is there something unresolved from your past? A feeling of inadequacy or resentment?

Noticing it and wanting to change seems like an important step.

When I feel jealous, I ask myself what it is telling me that I want to be different in my own life, then I focus in on that. It's a really useful thing for shining a light on what needs to change.