What should my 4yo be learning?

[Anonymouse007]

Hi everyone,

I'm in a really stupid dilemma. My DS has just turned 4 (summer born). Due to covid, he only went to nursery from September to March. He learnt to write his name and started phonics (e.g. he can recognise 's' and sound it out).

I have done absolutely jackall from March to August, other than name writing and easy activities (e.g. colours, shapes, etc).

He will be starting reception in September (hopefully) so what should I try to teach him before then? What are 4 year olds expected to know? Should I do some phonics lessons with him at home?

I feel like such a crap parent for doing nothing but it's just been so hectic :(

Thanks everyone xx

Don’t feel crap at all.

For school I would say:
Learn to recognise his name written down
Get changed into his school uniform, swap to PE kit and then back again
Cut up own food
Go to the toilet independently
Recognise some shapes
Recognise a few letters
Count to 30ish (maybe less or more)
How to hold a pen properly

My DS is only 2 but from what I've read there isnt anything specific they need to know by the time they start school. It's really good that he can write his names and sounds like on the right track with phonics etc. If you use instagram I'd suggest looking at Five Minute Mum she gives lots of easy learning activities on her blog. Theres lots of accounts that are useful on there.

I’m in the same boat as you OP, though DD is even worse off as she missed most of the first term last year recovering from an accident (that took place at nursery).

My mum died at the start of lockdown so I’ve not been at my sparkling best and I took the decision that I wasn’t going to do much formal learning with her. We’ve done lots of reading and playing, kept up counting and so on, and I’ve left out an Usborne letters book where she can trace around the numbers but beyond that, I’ve not pushed it.

I’ve been more focused on getting her to be more independent at going to the loo - she can wipe her bum on her own! - and changing her clothes. I consider those to be my big achievements.

How to go to the loo alone and wash hands.

Getting changed for PE

Manners

Honestly. My third is starting in September and these truly are the important things.

Ps have your school sent anything? Ours have sent some play ideas and I think recommendations along the lines of what @Pollyputthepizzaon has said

Honestly, a child who can change in and out of their uniform, put on their coat and do up the zip and go to the toilet independently will be a joy for any Year R teacher!
Other than that, read to them.

Don't worry about teaching anything academic, Dd could read (September baby) simple books but still had to start at the beginning like everyone else to ensure she was solid on her phonetics etc.

Practice practical skills
Changing
Laces
Taking turns
Recognizing own name
Cutting with scissors
Read lots but don't worry about teaching, just expose him to different vocabulary and model good practise so point to words as you read them / get him to point to the words for you to practise tracking.
Maybe practise some fine motor skills to build up finger strength as a prewriting activity. Picking up cheerios is great for building a pincer grip.
Put some sand on a tray and take it in turns to draw shapes and copy them. You ofcourse can draw letters and shapes to build their recognition of them.

Social skills and practical skills are more important for school readiness.

I really wouldn’t worry too much about formal learning other than recognising his name written down, maybe being able to count a bit. That’s what he’s going to school for.

I’d concentrate on things like self care - make sure he can do up buttons and zippers, take off and put on his own shoes, go to the toilet independently, wash hands without help, open and close lunch box and water bottle, use cutlery.

It’s worth thinking about his listening and social skills though these are things that develop and improve at school anyway - being able to sit quietly to listen to a story, follow instructions, knowing when/who/how to ask for something. Understanding the concept of sharing and taking turns.

You’re not crap, everyone worries when their dc is starting school but they’re all in the same boat and even if some dc seem to be “ahead” in some ways, it generally levels out.

Nothing . I didnt 'prepare' my kids in any formal way. I always read to them from the day the came home.
As other posters say, knowing how to get a coat on and say when they need the toilet. Do you know any of the other children starting? Maybe a few safe playdates. Other than that relax - it's a great adventure for your child and they will pick up if you are anxious about it!

Nothing he needs to know but helpful would be:
Hold a crayon
Use scissors
Good table manners
Waiting turns
Can lose (play games together)
Can dress himself/put his coat on
Can you to bathroom and wash his hands properly
Sit quietly
Follow instructions

From what I have seen at my daughters school trips most boys especially struggle with sitting still, and not speaking unless it’s their turn.

Recognising his name and counting accurately to 10, knowing colours and some shapes would be a great start academically.

Speaking in sentences, following two part instructions (go and get the book and then sit on the sofa etc) listening to a story and talking about what has happened/might happen next, being able to talk to adults and children, ask for help and say if they are unwell or need the toilet.

Hold a pencil, eat with cutlery, peel his own satsuma or banana, open his water bottle/lunch box, put his coat and shoes on, getting dressed including pulling sleeves the right way out, independent toileting and handwashing.

Practise putting on his uniform by himself, then taking it off and putting it carefully altogether and changing into P.E. kit then back again putting P.E. kit back into his bag. How to open his water bottle and drink from it without spilling. How to recognise his name written down.

reading bedtime stories together every day. Drawing pictures. Recognising his bag, putting his things in his bag and being responsible for getting his own sun hat/coat/drink of water when you go to leave the house.

Toileting by himself and washing his hands well afterwards.

How to fasten his coat and put on his shoes.

I have taught reception for years.
I would agree with exactly what Grrretel says above and would just add fasten own coat.
If your child can do those things, their teacher will be over the moon!

That’s useful, @annie987

The list we’ve had from the school are things like putting on coat, shoes etc, folding clothes up and being able to cope with things inside out, eating nicely with cutlery, being able to take turns (they recommended doing lots of board games) recognising name.

I suspect this year there will be a massive variation. Some children will have done nothing since February/March. Some will be reading and writing. Some will be very anxious, some will be desperate to get into a routine. The teachers will know and take this into account.

Forget academic stuff

Feeding themselves, being able to use the toilet alone, being able to communicate what they want, being able to sit still for a few minutes without watching TV, tying laces, zipping up their jacket, social skills like sharing and taking turns...all of that kind of stuff is more important than phonics or whatever.

I also have a summer born son. He is nowhere near the level that my older son was prior to starting school and it was concerning me. He has no interest in anything learning related and tends to just scribble when drawing, he doesn't know his letters and can't write his name without guidance etc. However when I spoke to his teacher she said the main thing is that they can independently dress themselves, go to the toilet and put on their shoes. They expect children to be arriving at many different levels and will soon be learning all of these academic skills so try not to worry too much.

I work in school with this age group. Recognising their name is useful but apart from that nothing is expected. We'd like it if they can hang up and put on their own coat and wipe their bum.

Does he know his surname? I might have forgotten to mention it to dc1 before they started school😳

Focus on self care. Wiping bum after poo, recognising coat and putting it on/off (including zip) etc Would he recognize his water bottle? Does he know where to check for his name on his belongings?
Does he know which shoe is for his left and right feet? You can draw something like half a smiley face in each foot instead of using a sticker