How should we split living costs if partner moves in

[ladypete]

Hello MNers. I’m hoping you can help me sort this out in my head.

My partner is giving up their flat (not extending lease and using the option to terminate it early) due to both parties living there having reduced earnings due to Covid. We’d always discussed the option to move in with me if this happened (or just in general when their lease was up as things are going really well between us)

My question is how to split the bills?
Do we split everything in half? Mortgage and bills? This is what they seemed to think would happen in small talk and it works out as a big saving for both of us. They could fast track a way to their deposit (to buy alone, we want individual investments before we think of buying together) and I could start to comfortably overpay my mortgage.

Do I pay mortgage and they contribute to some other bills? Obviously this wouldn’t be an even split but perhaps it shouldn’t be as I own the flat? Is it normal to pay towards someone else mortgage as a partner?

Do I get them to sign a lease agreement as a lodger? Does that even work seeing as we’d be sharing a room (1 bed flat)

I want to put at least one bill in their name so that they have proof of address for ID purposes should it ever be needed etc etc.

The only cost that would drastically change would be ending my single person discount on Council Tax.

Any ideas or experiences would be much appreciated, as well as anything I may have missed!

YABU - just split it equally - they pay a set amount into your bank account and move one bill into their name
YANBU - find another option to make it fairer to both parties as you own the flat (if splitting equally is unfair!)

Personally I'd keep the mortgage to yourself. He can put his credit card bill to the joint address. He doesn't need a utility bill.

Then share all bills 50:50 except buildings insurance because he's using half.

He saves through lack of rent, and you halve your utilities & council tax. But he won't have a claim on the property and you can ask him to leave at any time.

Personally, I’d halve bills and then have him put the half of the mortgage into a joint account so you start building up savings for when you buy together (which you could also contribute to as your bills will be halved). That way you’re protecting your claim to your home should you part ways. And then a conversation about how you would split the joint account if that was to happen too.

I'd charge him rent at the market-level for flat-sharing and half the bills; no reason why you should be subsidising him while he's saving to invest in property in his own name. He'll be no worse off than he is at present. He doesn't sound 100% committed as yet so 'what's mine is my own' is the best attitude. If he's there for the long haul, you can buy a place together later on.

What @Mintjulia said - you pay mortgage and then split the bills

i wouldn't be just charging him half the bills, why should he get to live there rent free? I know its complicated because you want to safe guard your flat, so maybe a contract as a tenant or lodger? I'm not too sure, but don't get ripped off!
He can change his personal stuff, eg bank account/credit card to your address, don't get anything of yours/your flat in his name, as this could cause problems if you split up/help him have a claim on your flat.

@katy1213 can I ask what makes him sound uncommitted?

My boyfriend has moved in with me, I own (mortgaged) my flat, he pays 1/3 of utilities (I have a child) and 1/2 of the council tax. He doesn’t pay anything towards the mortgage or service charge as I don’t want someone who doesn’t jointly own the property paying towards it.

Hes on sick pay at the moment so his payments have paused. When hes back at work he’ll put what was his rental payment away so if we get married it gives him a lump sump to put in the mortgage when he goes on the mortgage/deeds.

I am taking on what’s being said - just thought I should also point out that half bills is around £125 (+ food.)

If that’s fair then fine, but I just want to point out that its peanuts and we’re not talking £100s on bills here, in case the amount makes a difference!

I’d have him pay you a certain sum, each month as ‘board’, roughly equal to half your mortgage payment and bills. It shouldn’t give him a claim, should things go wrong, and it should reduce both your outgoings which would allow you both to save.

I never understand "split bills but you pay mortgage". Why should one person live rent free?

I would see a solicitor to have a tenancy agreement drawn up so that he will essentially pay you rent but have absolutely no claim on the house. I would NOT have any bills in his name, and he would be paying half for every utility.

Don't be a mug and don't risk your property. If he lives there he needs to pay rent and utilities, period.

Split it down the middle. Why should he live rent free ffs?

Good ideas about bank cards being listed at this address as proof of address - I haven’t even though of that and that makes perfect sense. Thank you.

Download a draft lodger or tenant agreement. Have him sign it.

@fruitbrewhaha @roarfeckingroarr

Well this is the thing. We both imagined it as a split down the middle situation (which he is perfectly fine with as he’s not a sponging asshole )

This thread was mainly for me to just double check that wasn’t completely unfair and also to find out what implications either option might have.

Perhaps getting something written up legally is a good idea. I actually don’t think he’d feel comfortable contributing £125 and me roughly 6x as much as him

My partner lives with me in a house I own. He also earns £20k more than me so we had this dilemma.

We didn’t want him paying my mortgage but he was keen that our outgoings are proportional to our incomes. Therefore I pay the mortgage, £650, he pays all bills, £350, plus buys all food and pays for all meals out and treats. He also usually pays more for our holidays but this is more because he wants 5* when I would happily go 3, which is more appropriate for my budget. I also pay the home insurance and maintenance fees (leasehold property) myself.

We’re getting married next year so working towards getting joint finances and lockdown was the first time I let him contribute to a house related expense as the house will become shared ownership once we’re married.

I'm not saying he'll never commit - but he hasn't committed as yet. You're not married - he's planning to buy property in his own name, which is fair enough but why should you enable this? If he walks away, he'll have a nice little pot of savings because you've been putting a roof over his head. Wait until he brings a bit more to the table than his undoubtedly handsome self and until then protect your own interests.
How long have you been together? Partner is a fairly meaningless word and this one sounds like more a boyfriend.

@user1471548941 sounds like you two have worked that out really well. Congrats on the engagement and upcoming wedding!

The easiest way, given the info in your OP, is to split your living costs 50:50 including the mortgage.

You can't give him a tenancy agreement, you live in the property too. He can't have a lodger's agreement as he will be sharing your bed.

What you can do is agree that he isn't paying anything towards your mortgage, that his contribution to the pot is just living expenses.

That way you both get the benefits you outline in your OP and can relax and enjoy living together!

@katy1213 I see what you’re saying.

It was my idea for him to get a property in his own name (as he’d planned to before meeting me) as quite honestly I’d want a pre-nup and am not planning to sell my flat outright to buy with him. We’re in London and our flats (when he gets his) are great investments. I think it’s fair and sensible personally. It‘s not him wanting to buy alone and leaving me stranded and wishing for the family home if that’s how it read!

And yep, this thread is me trying to work out the best way so that it’s fair for both us. Therefore him walking away with a right to my property and a nice pot of savings doesn’t happen.

@ladypete DP lives with me in my flat. He pays just over half the bills including mortgage.

I do think he should contribute more than just half of utilities, but I don't think the ammount should be tied to mortgage.

I think objectively fairest option is to look at the type of flat you'd rent if you were to do that and have him pay half of that. Or checking the price for a room in houseshare. Then you can compare if this is more or less than half the mortgage. Alternatively, I also like the idea of him paying majority of utilities and food. Income differences should also be taken into account so that neither of you are worse off. Since you are now moving in together there is nothing stoppi g you from revisiting arrangement after some time once you are more clear on the direction on the relationship

You sound as if you've got your head screwed on! But you should factor in that for the moment you're the one with the investment and any return on that investment (ie sharing your living space with a lodger) is very much yours. When he does eventually buy his flat, then you can reassess as he'll have rental income to throw in the pot.

Give him a lodger agreement and charge the market value of lodger rent in your area. He doesnt need to be on any bills, his bank statements will come to your address.

Have him pay half of everything but maintenance costs for the flat are paid by you. I never understand why people would think a partner shouldn’t contribute to the mortgage and essentially live rent free. It’s going to be a saving for both of you and when people talk about a partner having a claim on the house because they paid towards the mortgage realistically you’ll have bought somewhere together well before the time period where he could argue that and even if someone argues it then it’s rare it actually comes to anything