AIBU to have made him move bedrooms?

[goldpendant]

DH is a horrible snorer, especially bad after a few drinks.

We are away in a holiday home which has spare bunk beds in the room next to us.

I've tried rolling him over, shoved him many times, asked him to try a different position but it's getting louder and louder.

AIBU to have woken him just now and told him to find somewhere else to sleep?

He's been shirty all eve (has form for being a bit of a knob after drinking), I knew it'd be a loud night with him and he's keeping my wide awake.

He's just stormed out of the bedroom banging doors around, I tried to calm him down but he's ignoring me.

Have IBU?

No not unreasonable at all. It's horrible living with a snorer, I've snored loudly for years and am quite happy to sleep in the spare room when required. He is being a knob.

He was asleep, and you woke him up rather than just getting up and going to the other bed yourself?

Sorry, if you'd done the same to me I'd be fucking furious as well.

Nope, I send my snoring dH to the spare room regularly,
Especially if it’s his drinking which has led to worse than normal snoring!

I could have cheerfully lamped DH on several occasions for his beyond-noisy snoring. But he couldn't help it, being asleep at the time.

I think I'd have decamped to the other bed personally. Much quicker and calmer than waking the sleeping (snoring) beast.

Well, not exactly unreasonable to ask him to be move rooms/sleep elsewhere- but as you were awake why not just move rooms rather than wake him up and order him to leave the bed to sleep elsewhere? I think I’d be a bit miffed is I was woken to be ordered out of bed by someone who was awake and could equally have moved rooms. You could then have asked him to go to bed in the other room from now on if there is a reason you want him to sleep there rather than you sleep in the spare room.

Whilst living with a snorer is a pain- my dad was (still is) a terrible snorer, we could hear him several rooms away on a bad night- it’s not deliberate and he waking him up to demand he move might seem like a punishment (even though it’s not the intent), which might be why he’s irritated- or it might be the drink?

Has he seen anyone about the snoring? Treatments don’t always work, but worth trying. Losing weight if he is overweight can also help.

Yanbu to be annoyed

But why didn't you just move beds seeing as you were awake ?

Hmm I get your point @XDownwiththissortofthingX but I reckon I've spent the last 4 nights out of 7 in the spare room at home for the same reason and I'm fed up! Why should he sleep blissfully while I play musical bedrooms?

No. It's not pleasant to be woken and asked to leave, but it's also a nightmare to try to sleep through loud snoring. Perhaps you could have just moved yourself rather than waking him, but I would send him of preemptively next time he seemed likely to snore. Why should you get the bunk bed each time just because he snores when he drinks too much?

Seriously? @XDownwiththissortofthingX ? If you had a condition that was made worse by drinking yet you chose to drink while sharing a room, knowing that drinking exacerbates snoring, therefore stopping your partner from sleeping, YOU’D be furious at them? Not the other way round? Wow.

Ah perhaps IWABU to wake him -
and I fully admit part of me was just raging and probably trying to make a point - I ALWAYS decamp to another room - (infact he got pissy with me for doing so last week before we even went to bed because I knew it would be bad, so feel a bit like I can't win!)

Some people don't like the idea of sleeping separately, but they've probably never experienced the kind of snoring that destroys your very soul.

Your husband is unreasonable for being annoyed at you for protecting your own sleep by going to another room. Don't feel bad for sending him away this time. Seems like it's time for him to take steps to lessen his snoring!

I think you should have just gone, you were awake anyway and it's not like he was doing it deliberately to annoy you.

You say drinking makes it worse but I assume being in holiday you were having a few sociable drinks and enjoying yourselves together?

Have you asked him to sleep in a separate room before he actually gets to sleep?

I'll admit I've never actually slept with a snorer which might make my opinion invalid but if you woke me up just to tell me to sleep somewhere else I probably would've rolled over and told you to fuck right off

Just sounds like something you should discuss during daylight hours!😂

@TheEC

Yes, deadly seriously.

I have a partner that snores. I'm also prone to reacting extremely badly to people who wake me up prematurely when I'm asleep, so I can totally relate to OP's DH's foul mood and irritability.

When my partner falls asleep before I do and the snoring starts, it keeps me wide awake, it's enormously frustrating, but rather than wake someone up who is fast asleep themselves, especially when they're not acting deliberately just to deprive me of my own sleep, I do the pragmatic thing and decant to the spare/sofa.

So yes, in the OP's situation I would be bloody furious that my partner chose to wake me up rather than just moving beds themselves. The snorer is not acting inconsiderately through choice, but the person choosing to wake them most definitely is.

If I was him, I would be absolutely fuming with you. Mad as a hatter.

BUT. If I knew I snored and kept my partner awake all night, especially when I’d had a drink, I would very shamefaced and sheepish the following morning. I don’t think I’d have the presence of mind to do that during the night having been woken.

But YANBU of course.