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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stuck.

7 replies

quitepeeved · 22/08/2020 21:50

I've been stuck in a small room today for 9 hours with someone I don't know very well. I've met her/been stuck in a room with her like this for only about 3 other days in the past. I wouldn't describe her as a friend just an acquaintance. I had some important jobs to do but she had lots of free time to talk, so there's my first problem- how to politely tell someone to stfu when they clearly can't or won't pick up on glaringly obvious social queues.

Also, this woman has wanged on aaaaall day about my life like she is some kind of pop psychologist, bringing up all sorts of negative aspects of my life, (eg I have 3 small children and a full time job with very little help from anyone.) That must be hard etc etc she says. She brings these things up over and over like she is actually trying to upset me. I do like my life but she sets it in such a negative light she really starts to make me feel quite sad! I admit to her and myself that yes it is hard, and actually it's difficult to extract myself from conversations like this when I'm stuck and can't walk away from her so it just kind of carries on, this lighthearted-yet-pessimistic psychoanalysis, as I'm too distracted by my tasks to change the conversation. Plus at the moment with limited movements outside the home there's not much else to talk about!

Thing is she is morbidly obese, and lives alone. No kids. I think her life is fairly miserable so I feel sorry for her and say nothing but good God it's getting my goat now. I started to feel a bit ragey today (because of her) and I told her I was irritated. She said that was a sign of depression and she feels like she should take me to the GP! I really had to bite my tongue i just thought it was so rude, I feel like the same could apply the other way but I would never say that to someone.

AIBU to tell her to her face i think she is projecting her misery onto me?

OP posts:
ClaraJude · 22/08/2020 21:52

Why are you stuck with her? Is she a colleague?

Would you be allowed headphones? She sounds like a pain.

YABU for pointing out that she’s obese when it’s irrelevant.

dappledsunshine · 22/08/2020 21:53

Yes why are you stuck with her? And why in a small room for so long?

MiddleClassProblem · 22/08/2020 21:57

Just say “I’m really sorry, I have to get on” and crack on with work.

I’m assuming this is a office set up.

Bring headphones in the future.

ShebaShimmyShake · 22/08/2020 22:00

"I'm really sorry, I'm on a deadline and I need to get my head down."

"No, it's not that bad. They're good kids and I like being in control of my life. Sorry, I'm on a deadline and I need to get my head down."

Sparticuscaticus · 22/08/2020 22:03

Maybe explain how you were stuck with her in a room. You are so specific about what she said but vague about the context, so how on earth are any of us to advise or reflect on it?

Is it an office? Is she your usual colleague or a head office lady?
Is she your counsellor and you are on a drink driving course?
A work situation?
A family party?
At a wedding and she's the MOH and you a bridesmaid?

🤨

Alwaysinpain · 22/08/2020 22:06

Thing is she is morbidly obese

Sorry OP, I really do sympathize but what the hell does her weight have to do with anything?!?!?!
How does being morbidly obese contribute to being miserable? I'm overweight due to prescribed steroids but I'm not miserable! Hmm
Sorry but I can't get past that. I can't believe that anything any 'morbidly obese' person does wrong, their size is ALWAYS mentioned.

AmelieTaylor · 22/08/2020 22:12

Poor you, being stuck in there with an obese woman. That must be dreadful.

Grow up & just say you have work you have to do, so can't really chat.

But FFS her weight has nothing to do with it.

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