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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sad that I haven't had sex in 2 and a half years

19 replies

Olivia0592 · 22/08/2020 21:09

I'm 28 and haven't had sex since the conception of my son 2.5 years ago (his father left when I found out I was pregnant). It feels like such a long time at my age. :( Please tell me I'm not the only one! Maybe the fact this is bothering me means I'm ready to start dating again? I have been thinking about it recently.

OP posts:
DDIJ · 22/08/2020 21:19

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SweatyBetty20 · 22/08/2020 21:21

I was four years until recently, and it’s been as much as six. You’ve got a long way to go!

Sayitagainwhydontyou · 22/08/2020 21:21

Post-covid, I'd say babysitter, ladies night, ONS, back in the saddle.

Or get a good vibrator. I have great partnered sex regularly, but never as good as i have by myself.

sunnytat · 22/08/2020 21:23

don't worry about it, if u want to take it as a sign to get back in the saddle then u should. but u don't have to if u don't want to - just do what makes u happy, and don't worry about expectations.

FippertyGibbett · 22/08/2020 21:38

It’s great that you are thinking about dating, but make sure that person enhances your life and is good for your child.
Independence is a great thing.

TheCanyon · 22/08/2020 21:48

There's probably plenty of women the same age in relationships who are in exactly the same position.

Iflyaway · 22/08/2020 21:57

It’s great that you are thinking about dating, but make sure that person enhances your life and is good for your child. Independence is a great thing.

I agree.
When the time is right it will happen.

Nothing worse than putting up with a shit guy cos you have to scratch an itch. God knows there's enough sad stories on here from women who deserve so much better!

Know your worth.

Glitteryone · 22/08/2020 22:02

It’s been longer for me. You aren’t alone.

Flowers009 · 22/08/2020 22:03

Doesn't matter please don't be unhappy about this

Pinkyandthebrainz · 22/08/2020 22:13

It's not unusual OP, I'm a similar age to you and have had large gaps. Better than shagging a bloke who looks like a goblin for the sake of it.

DieSchottin93 · 22/08/2020 22:25

I'm a similar age and have experienced similar dry spells. Try not to dwell on it too much, the right man will come along at the right time Smile

MintyCedric · 22/08/2020 22:40

Four years here.

Get thee to lovehoney...Wink

1Micem0use · 22/08/2020 22:41

Hello sexless twin! Same age, also no sex since conception, same situation. But DS not as old

starsparkle08 · 22/08/2020 22:57

9 years ( I’m 33)

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 22/08/2020 23:05

11 years (im 34) you get used to it. I tried dating and found it expensive (new clothes, dinners out etc) and hard to balance properly with childcare and decided I'd rather spend the money doing things with Dd rather than doing things without her. I have more disposable income now so it wouldn't be such an issue but actually we're settled and I'm happy just the two of us. Might actively start looking to date again when she's in her late teens until then my life's busy enough with work, studying and taxiing her around

suzy2b · 22/08/2020 23:19

It's been 22yrs since my xh left I was 43 haven't been near a man since and I don't suppose I ever will, to set i my ways now.

Ishihtzuknot · 22/08/2020 23:24

8 years for me. I learnt to accept it and now I love being alone, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone again and I’m only mid 30s.
If you feel ready to begin dating again it wouldn’t hurt to try. Have you tried online before? My friends swear by it for getting to know men properly before meeting up as it’s much more complicated when there are children involved. Wishing you all the luck to find a decent partner!

MitziK · 22/08/2020 23:30

@Iflyaway

It’s great that you are thinking about dating, but make sure that person enhances your life and is good for your child. Independence is a great thing.

I agree.
When the time is right it will happen.

Nothing worse than putting up with a shit guy cos you have to scratch an itch. God knows there's enough sad stories on here from women who deserve so much better!

Know your worth.

It's not just 'scratching an itch' (oh, how I hate that phrase, I've only ever heard it spoken by men before, as though it's just a nasty little irritation that is solved by the application of some ointment from the chemist), though.

It is the physical contact, the warmth of another person, the all enveloping hugs and tender kisses, that is missed, not just an orgasm (they're easy to get if you like toys).

Original poster
Olivia0592 · 23/08/2020 14:07

Thanks everyone. I may look in to dating again in the near future. Like a PP said, it isn't just the sex I miss, but the physical closeness of another person and all that comes with it. Definitely not looking to introduce my son to anyone for a long time, I'm happy otherwise and V independent

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