To really need a hug

[GreatestShowUnicorn]

I’m single been single for 9 years & don’t come from a huggy family, I’ve not had a hug off an adult since March at least and I feel like it’s driving me deeper into depression never having any physical contact with anyone. I’m a child minder and have a dd9 so have had kid hugs but it’s not to same. I know it’s not a real problem but it’s really getting me down never being within 2m of any one over 9.

Sending you a big Hug xxxx

Can you have a support bubble with a friend ?

I’m in the same position. It’s sad isn’t it? Sending you a virtual hug 🤗

It’s not the same as having someone who cares about you, but can you book yourself a massage? A bit of self care goes a long way..

@Yogamad38 sadly my bubble is my very non cuddly mother my DD would have been devastated if we’d chosen anyone else. She barely hugs my 9yo and last time she hugged me was, I actually can’t remember.

@NC4Now I wondered that! But saving hard for something just now so would feel like a waste, but maybe I will.

@GreatestShowUnicorn can see why you chose your Mum for your support bubble especially for your daughters sake. Massage sounds a lovely idea x

I haven't had a hug or any physical contact with anyone since early January, grown up children and grandchildren all live away - one lot a 4 hour journey away, the others over 6 hour away by plane.

And no one, other than my mum and children and my ex, have been in touch to see how things are going in lock down, not my brother or sister in law or my supposed friends.

To feel unimportant to anyone is life limiting.

@helloandhowdoyoudo it’s horrible isn’t it. It’s so hard when you realise you don’t really matter.

This could be me op, I’ve been single for 8 years and my parents never hugged me as a child either. The last hug I had from an adult would have been 8+ years ago. A hug would be lovely wouldn’t it (Virtual hugs to you)

@Ishihtzuknot I’m lucky I usually stock up on hugs over the summer with lovely festival friends and I have one friend who I get a hug off usually if I’m feeling crap or she is.

Sending you hugs

Thanks for the virtual hugs there not cutting it anymore sadly!

What if you actually said this to your mum and asked for a hug? Would she do it do you think?

I feel the same OP. It's not something I'd ever given a thought to before but now and again it really bothers me.

There was a psychologist on Woman's Hour on radio 4 the other day discussing this. She said other sensory experiences would help fill the gap temporarily such as feeling soft fabrics against the skin like satin or velvet or silk. Or having a warm bath. Or wrapping yourself in a blanket with a nice drink/book etc.

I was thinking those are a good idea but I don't think this will be a temporary situation, it will probably go on for years.