To ask if you would find this offensive

[thedaywewillremeber]

Ds’s mental health worker who’s a social worker told him in their appointment last Monday to “behave himself”. He’s 25 year olds so he was a bit taken back. He suffers from a range of mental health problems and self harms regularly. He’s upset by the comment but I’ve told him I’m sure it wasn’t meant in a bad way.

It’s patronising.

It's impossible to know without context or tone. However if it's upset him he should say something

It all depends on the context. You sound encourage him to tell his social worker that her comment has caused him anxiety.

Depends on the context. Why was it said, in what sort of conversation.

Impossible to tell without context.

I wouldn't be offended, no (which is what you asked) I'd probably be flattered that they thought I was interesting enough to get up to mischief but of course it depends entirely on the context.

If it's playing on his mind he needs to say something at their next meeting

I agree with others that it depends on the tone and context, both of how it was said and of their relationship more broadly. I have MH issues including self harming and I don’t think I would generally find it offensive if said in a caring manner, sounds like it may have been used as an alternative to ‘take care of yourself.’

Obviously if it was said sternly or with a tone of exasperation or trying to control it could be offensive, but if it was meant as a way of expressing their wish for your DS to try and make positive choices until they see each other again I think it’s fine.

That said, if it’s upset DS I think he would be within his rights to raise it calmly and politely and try to explain why he doesn’t like it (Eg: if it felt patronising or felt like it was suggesting he is making conscious choices to harm himself and ‘misbehave’ rather than recognising his MH difficulties) and request she use different words in future.

I got told that in couples therapy at the age of about 44!
Pissed off but not permanently scarred, and it did make me reflect on how my behaviour looked from outside, so ultimately useful.

Thanks everyone I think the context from what he said was that he was telling him that not to harm himself again before they spoke.

Depends on the tone but if they generally get on well I’d take it as a gentle reminder not to harm himself rather than anything to be offended about

he’s only been working with him since July so it’s hard to know.