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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want guidance about how SEN kids are going to go back to school?

30 replies

IceCreamSummer20 · 21/08/2020 17:28

I know I’ve posted in AIBU but I do think this is a wide issue affecting many people.

My DS with severe SEN is due to go back to his school in a few weeks. I am concerned but overall I am happy that he will go back. I have home schooled him for months by myself, had zero respite, had to cancel all his therapies (because not medically urgent) and all plans, I’ve lost my part-time work. Very difficult to take him out as he doesn’t understand, gets upset and touches everything and gets close to everyone. It’s tough for everyone I get it and we are lucky to still have a home.

But I feel like I’ve gone into a black hole. I honestly have no idea how to get him back into school and whether this is going to just be another trauma for him and us. Heard nothing from the school except that his teacher has gone on a career break and an inexperienced one will take his place. Of course I’m contacting the school etc but they are overwhelmed and don’t really know what to do.

I do want a more ‘Denmark’ model of safe Covid schooling - and aside from washing hands there is no other measures. DS will find it difficult to wear a mask on the bus - and I’m torn between wanting to make school a good experience but also wanting him to not have ‘less’ protection because he is SEN - which also doesn’t seem fair. I’ve come up with a Plan A, B and C but would love more guidance on how to help SEN kids with this really difficult decision / transition. School or home school, it would be great to have support for both options!

I can’t be the only one in this position! What is everyone else deciding to do?

OP posts:

formerbabe · 21/08/2020 17:40

My dd has minor sn which mean wearing a mask will not be possible...I know there's no current plans for children to wear masks but with this government things can change at the drop of a hat and I'm worried about guidance changing. Who knows?!

Of course, yanbu, children have been treated appallingly throughout this mess and sen children and their families have been treated even worse.

Sirzy · 21/08/2020 17:47

Yanbu but it does seem a big part of the issue is poor communication from the school.

Ds school have thankfully worked with me to make a plan we hope will work!

Original poster

IceCreamSummer20 · 21/08/2020 17:51

That is great @Sirzy - what kind of things have you worked out?

OP posts:

EggysMom · 21/08/2020 17:55

Mainstream or SEN school?

Bupkis · 21/08/2020 17:56

Hello from other frustrating 'bang your head against a brick wall' school threads!

Ds has a very rare genetic condition, he has been shielding from March to August, due to a combination of scarred lungs, previous pneumonias, asthma, chronic gastric problems and a hole in the heart. He has learning disabilities and behavioural issues which means he will struggle with social distancing and hygiene. His bowel issues means he needs help with toileting. As his genetic condition is very rare, he has had unpredictable reactions to viruses and infections in the past. We have had several stays in hospital with Drs scratching their heads, wondering why sats aren't coming up...wondering why heart rate is so high...wondering what causes the bleeding lesions he gets in his inflamed stomach lining.

The last communication from paeds was to shield until the shielding was paused. We have recently been told that most children have been removed from the shielding list.

I have spoken to school (mainstream, but he is in a complex needs resource base), they tell us that without a letter specifying he needs to stay off, then we will be fined if he doesn't come in.

I feel like children with SEN and medically vulnerable children have been left behind in this crisis. We had very little input from school throughout lockdown, I ended up organising ds's home learning and emailing pictures in weekly off my own back, as nothing was really set up. I organised ds's annual review and transition review, setting up the remote meetings and organising paperwork. This was alongside organising his sister's home learning, and doing (thankfully fairly minimal) work calls from home.

And now, at a point where we could really do with some options (I really would like ds to do some in person schooling....especially as it's his last year ) we are just told - 'in full time or we will be pursuing fines for non attendance'

Its frankly a bit shit. It's nice to know we're not alone though.

EggysMom · 21/08/2020 17:58

Our son attends an SEN school, he continued going throughout lockdown as he was in a very small 'bubble'. I trusted the school to have stringent cleaning arrangements (after all, they wanted to protect their own staff also). He did travel by specialist transport and will do so again in September; none of the children on the bus would be capable of wearing a mask, but the driver was separated and the escort wore full protective clothing. He'll go back in September to a full school, but he'll stay with his class (so again a 'bubble') and only mix out of doors which he'd do at a playground anyway.

I don't have any concerns.

Hercwasonaroll · 21/08/2020 18:00

Yanbu but it does seem a big part of the issue is poor communication from the school.

Some schools haven't fully decided their plans yet as another government update is imminent. I know this makes it hard for anyone to plan. As a teacher I don't have a timetable or any plans yet. But I know at least once I get the plans, they'll be the right ones.

Sirzy · 21/08/2020 18:03

@IceCreamSummer20

That is great *@Sirzy* - what kind of things have you worked out?

He is at a mainstream primary, he also has full time 1-1 which is very helpful. He is still on the shielding list but peads are happy for him to go in while it is paused.

When his 1-1 is doing any personal care (he is tube fed) as well as the normal PPE she will wear a face shield because she can’t avoid getting up close then.

His place in class is so he doesn’t have to pass anyone else to enter or leave.

He always goes in via the office anyway and we have planned this so he is the only pupil there (if he plays the game with times!) I am allowed on the school grounds too which most parents aren’t.

He will still have a safe space to escape too when all gets too much

BKCRMP · 21/08/2020 18:07

My daughter has been in throughout. Her school have been incredible and realistic. It's business as normal for her.

manicinsomniac · 21/08/2020 18:09

YANBU to want the plans. I think most schools are working as hard as they can to get them out in as much detail as possible as soon as possible though.

I have a friend who works with children with disabilities for 1:1 therapies, both at home and in schools. Her plans are in total disarray and keep changing. Some of her schools have said she can't go in next term and others have said she can. One school has said one of her children can't attend either!! (he's a spitter) She's challenging that one but it takes a lot of time and fighting.

I hope you get answers soon though.

Bupkis · 21/08/2020 18:41

@Sirzy
He is still on the shielding list
Can I ask, has his paed said that he would go back to shielding if it is unpaused or if there ate local lockdowns?
Ds's paed said that guidance meant only children on cancer treatment and specific conditions with reduced immunity were still on the list...he said children with cystic fibrosis, on oxygen etc were all coming off! I have a friend whose child is life limited, with severe heart problems, tube fed and consistently low O2 sats...and even they are off the list and going in!

I think I have a combination of not trusting how the govt have dealt with this situation, and so feel I don't have faith in their decisions, and unfortunately not a great history with the school, and so not having much faith in their decisions!!

Sirzy · 21/08/2020 18:52

We have been told that if the shielding starts again he will be back on the list, we got a letter from the consultant today as a follow up to the last virtual appointment which said he was fine to go back unless the local situation changes or shielding is reintroduced.

Original poster

IceCreamSummer20 · 21/08/2020 18:58

I feel for many of you @manicinsomniac, for your friend - and sympathise @Bupkis - that sounds hard - I wouldn’t be happy with just ‘shielding is paused’ get back in there - some kids are more vulnerable and I don’t think it would be too hard to give them extra safety and flexible plans in schools?

@Hercwasonaroll @BKCRMP @EggysMom it is good to hear it is also working well with some schools

I do get that schools are struggling and not finalizing plans - however I think for our kids it’s more that we work together to get a plan and some extra safety if needed and flexibility if needed. The fines are ridiculous and personally I don’t care if I don’t feel the school are coping, either Covid wise or just with DSs wellbeing I will pull him out but not deregister. But I don’t want to get to that. I want to work with them. Preferably with some great advice from credible others - I’ve looked but there is very little out there - from either public health or charities for SEN kids.

OP posts:

Bupkis · 21/08/2020 19:01

I'm glad that you have a clear answer for ds, and a good plan.
It seems that it is dependent on different things in different areas maybe.
I feel as though we are pretty much out on a limb - we either completely trust that it will be ok and send ds in, deregister or we go rogue and get fined!!

Hercwasonaroll · 21/08/2020 19:03

however I think for our kids it’s more that we work together to get a plan and some extra safety if needed and flexibility if needed.

I agree. However if you make a plan today, there's every likelihood government guidelines will have changed by Monday and you'd have to make a new one. Schools are expecting more guidance next week.

Sorryusernamealreadyexists · 21/08/2020 19:03

We’ve not been able to access an education since the end of lockdown due to the nature of my SEN child’s difficulties and have had very limited contact from school. YANBU

Bupkis · 21/08/2020 19:07

@Sirzy

To be honest that is what our last letter from the consultant says - but that was back at the end of June. Since then, verbally he said the thing about guidance changing and most children coming off....I'm hoping if we don't get that in a letter, then we might be able to use the previous letter if we need to!

blue25 · 21/08/2020 19:08

Many schools don’t actually have a clue themselves yet. They are sadly expecting further restrictions & guidance to come into force before September and it looks like mask wearing is very likely.

Redlocks28 · 21/08/2020 19:12

Schools are still waiting for more guidance so I’m not surprised you haven’t heard from them. It would be pointless for them to tell you something only for it to all change next week.

Bupkis · 21/08/2020 19:15

@Hercwasonaroll
We have had 2 emails from ds's head - one to tell us about lockdown and one at the end of term telling us what was planned for next term - a general school one. Alongside this we had some emails about ds's EHCP from the SENCO.

This is in contrast to ds's secondary who emailed weekly.

Schools are expecting more guidance next week.
I know they said there would be something on 11th...I hadn't heard about next week, is that official?!

Hercwasonaroll · 21/08/2020 19:16

@Sorryusernamealreadyexists

Sorry you haven't been able to access education when schools began to return. However what do you expect now? Not much to say beyond "we're waiting for the DfE to see if our plans are OK".

Hercwasonaroll · 21/08/2020 19:19

Our place last emailed parents on the last day. What else can they say now? Why do you need a weekly email, what does the head even say?

Gav said pre A level results to expect guidance this week. But then gcse fuck up happened and a level u turn so pushed back to next week.

notanotherpothole · 21/08/2020 19:20

I teach in SEN school restarting next week. We have had many different starting plans drawn up, all end up being changed by authorities and need redoing. Pupils we had plans for returning have ended up not being able to come back when our school medical team completed their risk assessments. It is massively frustrating. We have tried to keep parents informed throughout but you are definitely not BU about a lack of information. Unfortunately I feel that the authorities are making things up as their mood decides. They're hopeless. Good luck

hiredandsqueak · 21/08/2020 19:29

Dd went to school throughout (independent specialist) and will be going back to business as usual. She can't wait. Only four max in a class and fewer than thirty in the school (y3 to y14), multiple buildings and sites so SD isn't a problem in her school.

x2boys · 21/08/2020 19:30

My son goes to a Special school ,although he's not been in since march, school.have staggered start and finish times ,two classes to a bubble separate entrances ,staff in full PPE for personal care all good ,however they will all mix on transport anyway

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