To ask if you've ever taken the 'shittier' option?

[WhaleOfTime]

The title is bad but I can't think how to explain it!

Maybe me and my friends are just going through some kind of early 30s existential crisis. But...

ME: Want to pack in my career as a freelancer, which involves minimal hours and great income, in exchange for a low-paid salaried position. Just for more variety in the people I see and less pressure/constantly worrying about the next gig.

FRIEND 1: Lives in the French countryside in a beautiful house, wants to pack it in and go back to....Sheffield. Misses the UK, community, etc.

FRIEND 2: Is with an amazing guy, very good looking, very kind, pulls more than his weight around the house, very supportive. But... She doesn't think they have the same life goals.

Nothing's right or wrong, but 'on paper' there are choices that 'look' way better.

Have you ever walked away from a good situation? Or is the push to do that just a kind of irrational emotional thing that should be beaten down?

ME: Want to pack in my career as a freelancer, which involves minimal hours and great income, in exchange for a low-paid salaried position. Just for more variety in the people I see and less pressure/constantly worrying about the next gig.

I have never been s/e or freelance simply because the fear of no sick/ redundancy/ maternity pay, always having to ensure there's more work coming, etc. DH was s/e for a while and I hated everything about it- I pressured him to go back to employment, because a lower but more secure income is by far my preference.

Sure, you can't make decisions based on what sounds good to others. Do what feels right to you.

Well exactly, go with your gut

As insulted that Sheffield is a shitty option
Lots of beautiful countryside here!

What's wrong with Sheffield (misses point of thread)

I know a few teachers who became self employed van drivers and are so much happier. Success and money arent always the best option

Yes. Live in a nice house in a national park, seemingly a place where everyone would love to live, it really is beautiful. Moving to a distinctly average town. Everyone thinks we're mad, but what's right for one isn't right for another and appearances can be deceptive!

I left my amazing job that I loved, as I got one with hugely better pay, better hours and 5 mins from home. My heart wanted to overrule my head so badly! Yes, sometimes you choose the sensible option in life. A lot of other times, you don’t

It all depends on circumstances, doesn't it?

There's a highly recommended posh gastropub close to where my parents live and they're always offering to treat us to lunch there, but we prefer the very average Fullers pub with the enclosed grassy play area so we can spend more than 10 minutes eating our mediocre meal without listening to toddler DS moaning.

There's a lot to be said for having the same life goals so one of you doesn't always end up compromising.

For all of those scenarios, option B sounds like more my cup of tea.

I like having a salary that definitely lands in my account every month.
I like living in the UK with my friends and family.
I like being on the same page as my husband.

It's all this pressure to be 'living the dream' - it's never as good as it's meant to be.