AIBU to ask the signs that you child has high functioning autism

[poppypoppet2020]

My son is 12. When he was a toddler he used to put his hands over his ears during singing as he couldn't stand the sound. He still can't stand it now. He also hates the sound of pencils and has had to use erasable pens since he started learning to write. He also has a very sensitive sense of smell and literally can't bear certain smells. He is quite introverted, but then so am I, and he also has a tendency to daydream and is obsessed with certain things like Minecraft and wants to talk about it all the time, but then so do a lot of children. I think he has a lot empathy and is mindful of people's feelings. In comparison to his brother, he is very different. He is very stubborn and not easy going about anything. I think his sensory issues and obsessions make me wonder if he has autism albeit high functioning. Or are these just typical 'quirks'?.

My just turned 6 year old was diagnosed with asd at four. Sounds very much the same as my boy. He's got a one track mind, will harp on and on about roblox, or whatever it is at the time he's got into for a few months. Will watch the same shows over and over again. Hands over ears with noise. Repetitive with food. Lunchbox is exactly the same everyday. Makes some funny facial expressions/eye rolls. Just looks bored when talking to him sometimes. Has some sensory issues, still can't stand his hair being washed. I could go on. But he is the sweetest, kindest little boy. Has so much empathy and loves animals, more than people I'd say!

Sounds quite like my 4yo. Nursery raised the possibility of ASD as he stims but the GP didn't agree and I think he has SPD. Have agreed with the GP to adopt and watch and wait approach. So far it isn't affecting his progress in school or his ability to make friends but the teacher is keeping a close eye. My son has:

Sensitivity to smell
Sensitivity to noise
Obsession with wriggly things which he then stims with
Very tactile

He has no issue with social skills however which is why the GP does not want to pursue an ASD diagnosis and I completely agree with that. I have sensory issues too, can't touch certain materials and don't wear trousers (just thinking about trousers has set my chin itching which is the weird thing I get when I wear trousers).

He sounds a lot like my eldest.

And my suspicion is that she has ADHD. (I have it and it's genetic)

It doesn't always mean that the person with ADHD is a hyper badly behaved child.

For myself (and my daughter) our "H" is the speed and amount we think and how much we talk!

Sensory issues are common in people with ADHD too. I can't cope at all with the sound of people eating, physically pains me.

You can have a sensory processing disorder without autism. It does sound like he has sensory issues but theres not a lot to suggest autism.

Get one of those checklists off the internet and ask him to tick how he feels, it's better him doing it because some autistics mask from a young age so you may not know how he feels about situations.

@OneEpisode so true! We've been working on this when my son gets presents that he doesn't like. He's so hard to buy for because of limited interests and if anyone asks I always say £5 or a voucher. He used to open and just throw aside saying 'yes, Well I don't actually like that'. So we've been working on saying thank you very much, even if he doesn't like a gift. Last time he opened a present...' Well I don't actually like this...But thank you very much' I tutted and said 'master Jackson that's not very polite' but he just couldn't fathom what he'd done wrong as he literally said what I told him to

@OneEpisode

My favourite sign is the lower ability to construct a believable lie/False explanation. Like all children my dc sometimes want to fib. The NT one can construct an alternative explanation for what happened to the cake that takes some time to unpick. The ASD one, despite high IQ, is found out much more easily...

That is so interesting! At primary school age, DD2 would physically squirm and be unable to tell a lie, the truth will out! She's since learned the art of lying however...

We have one ASD diagnosis and are in the process of a second diagnosis currently for my 18yr old daughters.

It's really interesting reading these posts, so many different traits. We recently met one of the kids' primary school teachers and they were now completely unsurprised by their diagnoses, they could remember back to when they taught my DDs and recognise ASD traits at age 10. Shame they were not as well retrained or learned in ASD then as they are now, if ASD had been picked up in my girls at primary school, it would have saved them a lot of difficulties throughout their teenage years

My son got his diagnosis at 12, loud noises and smells yep, cant tolerate and also what I would say is an inability to "read a room" and understand what acceptable responses are. He can fake it somewhat but I see the effort it takes as he is essentially mimicking good behaviour it doesnt come naturally.

@DoraemonDingDong I only realised in August that my 18yo daughter is almost certainly autistic. Can I ask about diagnosis - advantages and disadvantages at this age for example? Might it be enough to just recognise and accept her traits without diagnosis or would diagnosis offer something extra do you think? It's all a bit new to me. Thanks

I have a 19 year old daughter with HFA. She also has a 'proper' diagnosis of Misophonia. She can't tolerate the sounds of other people eating, snoring, breathing heavily, snuffling (like with a cold).
Couldn't stand fireworks, party poppers or balloons when she was little. Still can't!
She's pretty laidback on the whole, but doesn't always like change.
When she was 4 or 5, ex husband and I took her to Disneyland for the first time. She ended up loving it, but had her hands over her ears on the first day We had no idea what it was at the time, and put it down to being tired and overwhelmed, but it's obvious looking back that she was in total sensory overload
How does you son get on with friendships and the like? My daughter found them quite hard, as she can be a bit intense.
She is lovely though, and funny, amazing and wonderful

@SummerHeatwave

Go for a diagnosis, as it will help her get support at university ... should she go down that route, of course!

My daughter was diagnosed at 16, as girls are typically better at masking.

Thanks @eatsleepread Can I ask what the process involves and how long it takes please? I realised at about the same time that my whole family is almost certainly on the spectrum. None of us are diagnosed.

Ok, so I went to the GP about suspected misophonia. GP referred us to the Audiology department of the hospital. They diagnosed the misophonia, and referred us to CAMHS for support with that. CAMHS diagnosed the ASD. So in our case, it was done pretty indirectly!

Summer heatwave I would say go for a diagnosis. As pp said, it will help if she goes to University, but there are all sorts of situations where it might be useful to her in later life. She doesn't have to tell people if she doesn't want to.

My 14 year-old has high functioning autism. The most obvious sign in him is he normally looks like I do if I try to speak French, Spanish or sign language (kind of confused looking and like he is concentrating really hard).

When we do things with the autism group it's like he finally relaxes and it's so lovely to see.

@SummerHeatwave I guess it would depend on how your daughter manages in real life - if she isn't struggling in any particular area, and most importantly she doesn't feel the need for a diagnosis, then I would leave it.

My DD has struggled with depression and an eating disorder (as well as possibly mild? sensory issues, amongst her most obvious traits) which all came to the fore and necessitated CAMHS intervention and subsequent ASD diagnosis.

My daughter was only 16 at the time of her CAMHS referral, it took about 18 months in our area to reach the top of the waiting list for an ASD assessment - in which time we had gone private because she needed the help quite desperately.

For her, the benefit was not just the diagnosis but also counselling that came with it (which we paid for privately, because of her related issues). The counselling helps her with understanding herself and I think, to not feel so alone because she wasn't able previously to understand her interactions with other people so easily.

As your daughter is already 18, she will have to be referred to the adult mental health service. In our area the waiting list is over 2 years unfortunately, and it has to be done through the GP (no self referral).

And yes, looking at family members now I think I can see autistic traits in some of them, they just seem super concentrated in our DCs!

@eatsleepread @fatimaMunchy @DoraemonDingDong
Thanks for the replies. Generally she manages well and gets on with things although I think she does a lot of masking which can be exhausting. She gets overwhelmed if there's too much choice and struggles to make decisions, especially if she's anxious or tired. She finds it difficult to articulate herself or to answer open ended questions. She finds it easier when the choices are made for her but unfortunately that's not the way adult life works for the most part. I think she'll find things harder as she gets older unless she's channelled into the right thing. Still in two minds about diagnosis....

@poppypoppet2020 i have only just seen this thread and wondered how you were getting on? My son is 13 and has a diagnosis of high functioning autism and sounds very similar to your son, lots of the same issues here. I would think there is definitely enough concern to pursue an assessment.

@SummerHeatwave you should pursue an assessment. A diagnosis doesnt give help or support but it is a a recognition of a disability that person has and will always have and if they were to need help in the future that diagnosis may be the key to getting support. None of us know what the future will bring but without a diagnosis support may be harder to access.
If your child had a physical disability you would get it recognised, autism is not to be treated differently. And it may help that person to understand and accept why some things are more difficult for them, especially around education and employment.

Poppypoppet 2020 I have watched quite a lot by Sarah Hendricks on You Tube about autism in women. Worth a watch.